Can I choose how my bridemaids have their hair?

[walliceandme]

Genuine question, getting married and want my bridemaids to all have the same hair - all of their hair is long so it'll be easy but one has a thick fringe and would it be rude if I asked her to have a hairstyle that clips it back? I want them all to have their hair like this but unsure how it'll work with a full fringe? AIBU?

Sorry, OP, but what's wrong with them looking like themselves, rather than clones of each other?
You do know, don't you, that none of the guests will be saying "oh, the bridesmaids all have matching hair - isn't that marvellous?".

I'm amazed that anyone actually wants to be a bridesmaid after reading many of the posts on here, it seems to be a role that causes no end of arguments and disagreements!

I just can't understand why this matters? My bridesmaids all had their hair how they wanted, because, well, it just doesn't matter.

Hahahaha 😆

How about leave it up to the adult sporting the thick fringe as to how best to wear their hair?

How she wears her hair isnt going to make, or ruin, your day or photos.

You can ask them for their preference. You can't ask them to cut / colour their hair, or put in extensions. If she's used to a fringe then you can't ask her to pin it back - it could make her uncomfortable for day. If she occasionally pins it back herself, ask what she thinks.
However..... Your statement that you can't see any hair style suiting a fringe tells me you don't like it! It's not your hair, it's just choice!!
Are you one of those brides who would insist a BM change her hair colour to match your colour scheme?

Wow.. yes very rude and absolutely ridiculous.

Bridezilla behaviour. Give your head a wobble!

I honestly do not understand these weird pointless details that brides genuinely care about. Do you know nobody will notice or care how the thick fringed lady’s hair will look?!?! You sound like a bridezilla!

I feel like nowadays people tend to treat weddings as a very expensive photo shoot and it does make me sad. Nothing wrong with wanting to look nice of course, but I hope that when my time comes I'm more focussed on everyone having a good time than us all looking like we've stepped out of a glossy magazine.

I think if someone asked me to do this I would consider turning up on the wedding morning sporting a Mohican!

You really can’t do it OP, just step away from the wedding folder and remember the important part of the wedding is saying your vows and committing to the person you love in front of your friends and family and people who love you.

Don’t set up resentments that could sour the day, carry on for years and wreck friendships.

OMG what have I just read? What if the one with a fringe is hiding an insecurity? If you told me how to wear my hair it would start with f and end with off. Be thankful they are doing YOU a favour and being your bridesmaids.

YABU

I have a solution!
Shaven heads all round! No fringes, nothing to hide the back of the dress.

no no don't thank me.

@walliceandme There are loads of up-dos, including ones similar to what you've posted, on this page. All with fringes, including thick/blunt fringes.

FWIW, I have a fringe and if you told me I had to pin it back somehow to meet with your approval as a bridesmaid, you would get a very decisive 'No'. I have a fringe because I like the way I look with a fringe. It's a big part of my personal style. If I was a bridesmaid and was told it wasn't acceptable for me to look like myself, I'd wonder why the hell you'd picked me in the first place.

www.martinthornburg.com/blog/wedding-hairstyles-40-beautiful-brides-with-bangs

The niece of a friend of mine told her 65 year old dad to dye his hair for the wedding. He told her to where she could stick that idea. Some people go bananas over their wedding.

OP be honest do you have something against thick fringes because right now you sound really anti big fringes I’m afraid

Extremely rude and OTT

I don’t think it’s rude to ask if you are paying, It may or may not work with a fringe / your friend may not want to fix her friend back, ask her if she would consider it

If a fringe is really part of her look she may not like it but I think I would do it for a day,

I don’t think it’s rude to ask. But accept that some people may ask for modifications. For example, I have dumbo ears and when I was asked to have my hair done a certain way as a bm I did ask the bride if I could modify it a bit so my ears were covered (comfort blanket for me). She of course said yes. Made me much more comfortable on the day.

Bridesmaids that all match each other absolutely completely, even their hair, look weird.
Asking them to change a fundamental part of their appearance doesn't make your photos look better, it just upsets your friends.

I think it's totally fine to choose how their hair is styled on the day if you're paying for it.

Where it goes too far is if you tell her to grow/cut/colour her hair.

Clipping a fringe back doesn’t get rid of it.

Personally I think it’s so over the top to dictate a bridesmaids hair. Don’t you want them to feel comfortable?

It's OK as long as you support them to do it/ hire a stylist - don't just leave them to put up their own hair in your chosen style, as that can be stressful.

I think the clipped back fringe is taking it a bit far though.

Agree? I think most reasonable people would agree to it for 1 day unless there was a specific reason for having the fringe

Are you paying for the hair stylist?

I think its fine to have a concept of style (but discuss it, its their body so their final say) if you are paying but you cannot ask them to dye or cut their hair etc...

If you are not paying you get whatever hair they choose to do.