Can I choose how my bridemaids have their hair?

[walliceandme]

Genuine question, getting married and want my bridemaids to all have the same hair - all of their hair is long so it'll be easy but one has a thick fringe and would it be rude if I asked her to have a hairstyle that clips it back? I want them all to have their hair like this but unsure how it'll work with a full fringe? AIBU?

I asked my bridesmaids if they could do their own hair half up half down. They all didn’t (seem) to mind. But I wasn’t strict about it

Yeah, I do think you're being unreasonable if I'm honest. Step away from Pinterest!

Honestly it's giving bridezilla op! Please don't do that, just talk to the hairdressers and ask them to do a similar version that would work with a fringe. The pp who suggested a piece of hair jewellery that ties them all in is a good shout, plus when they're all in the same dress and shoes and flowers etc to fit your theme a fringe really won't matter. You're just getting yourself bogged down into the details which is easy done.

Don’t be ridiculous. Similar is fine (all pulled back in a pony tail), but to ask someone to change what is their actual style? No.

The hairstyle is fine to ask for but how her fringe sits is absolutely up to her. It also would not ruin how this looks. You have no way to tell the woman in this photo doesn’t have her own fringe!

If one of them decides to get a pixie cut, are you going to fire her as a bridesmaid?

I can’t believe you persist with no fringe after practically all advice is not to do this. You truly are a bridezilla.

Be careful, all of your bridesmaids may opt out. I would if I thought you were bullying someone like that.

Asking someone to clip back their fringe is hilarious and obviously not ok 😂.

Why wouldn't that hairstyle suit someone with a fringe? I think it's fine to get all their hair styled like that - it's a very simple style and would generally suit everyone with longer hair so I can't see why they'd have a problem with it.

YABU and odd

It is definitely not OK. Unequivocally and without doubt it’s not OK.

You don’t know what hairstyle would suit her “very thick fringe” ?? You can’t think of one

Just say you don’t like her fringe. Say it with your whole chest. Some women like having a fringe, some even like how their very thick fringe looks. You don’t have to like how her fringe looks, she does. Thats all that matters.

Zooey Deschanel had a thick fringe for years and many an updo. But realistically, you don’t have to like it. If you want their hair (but not dresses?? For some reason??) to be uniform, get the style. But every woman will look slightly different or have a different variation based on their colour, hair type, style/cut and yes. If they have bangs/fringe.

Surely if they are all wearing pale blue or whatever they will match anyway? I think it's a step too far TBH. Just enjoy your day.You will be centre stage for the day!

This!

Is this real? Just in case it is, then no, it’s a bit much to expect. They’ll want to look good and will know what hair styles suit them best.

Unreasonable, though you can ask and be prepared for a no.

I’d prefer this! I’m a bridesmaid in a few months and I find it stressful that the bride is saying “it’s up to you what you do with your hair” - I’d rather she chose

Presumably the hairstyle she has chosen to have everyday!

Now that you have your answer @walliceandme you might be wise to acknowledge it, otherwise we'll all assume you're doing the old "AIBU-Yes you are-no I'm not" routine.

For the record, add me to the ever growing YABU group.

I think you are being fringeist.

Yes, you’re being ridiculous and are now in bridezilla territory. Chill out, nobody will notice this.

How do you plan to tell your fringe friend that her hair would look better in a different style?

I have a thick fringe and had a hairstyle very similar to this for my own wedding and it looked lovely!

Also, I like to think I’m quite an easy going person but if some asked me to clip back my fringe for a hair style I’d say no as it would look ridiculous.

Yes it would be very rude. If you value the friendship of the bridesmaid in question ,don’t even ask.

That style will work fine with a fringe.

Body autonomy? Applies to the appearance as well, you know. What an odd question to ask. Clothes - it is a different matter, you can dress your bridesmaids like dollies, no problem (provided you are paying for it).

Think hairstyles is a bit much. People have different face shapes, they’ll likely want a style they feel comfortable with and feel good in.