Can I choose how my bridemaids have their hair?

[walliceandme]

Genuine question, getting married and want my bridemaids to all have the same hair - all of their hair is long so it'll be easy but one has a thick fringe and would it be rude if I asked her to have a hairstyle that clips it back? I want them all to have their hair like this but unsure how it'll work with a full fringe? AIBU?

Having seen update, if you're having mismatched dressed and tously hair, honestly, what different will a fringe make? There's individuality in the styling so why are you drawing a line at one bridesmaid's fringe? I think you need to remove the goalposts quite far away.

I don't understand how a fringe wouldn't work with that hairstyle? You haven't even posted a picture of the front- the model in the pic could have a fringe for all you know.

I promise you how they have their hair doesn’t matter. Don’t get caught up in stuff like this and no a pinned back short fringe would look so stupid. Say I’d like you all to have a low bun and let her keep the bloody fringe.

It'll look great with or without a fringe.

Oh my god the word fringe is starting to lose all meaning! This is ridiculous

Very rude.
You’re in danger of becoming a bridezilla. Please check yourself before it’s too late.

Probably the person with the thick fringe will have a good idea what suits them.

I can't imagine any situation in which I'd tell my friends how to style their hair.

My bridesmaids actually asked me if I wanted them to have their hair a particular way, sounds like that is unusual. (One of them even asked if I wanted them to be tanned!) I wouldn't have been comfortable dictating their appearance beyond the dresses, so I left it up to them.

Having said that, one of them had hers very long and shapeless at the time and I'd sort of assumed she'd do something with it, maybe just pin the sides back or something, which she didn't - I was a bit surprised but again I thought her hair, her choice. I really think it should be about having the people you want at your wedding and not how they've chosen to style (or not style) their hair tbh.

Please do it. Hopefully the bridesmaid is on here and she can come and post about having to be a bridesmaid for a bridezilla 😁

Lovely to see you’re focusing on what’s truly important about the day 👍🏼🙄

As someone who got married 21 years ago, but can still vividly remember all the stuff I fussed over, these are the things I really wish I had worried more about:

• good photographs (ours are average) as those will be your lasting memory
• being more specific about the flowers (I trusted our florist, turns out he wasn't actually a great florist and made decisions based on taste that was different to mine)

What really matters is you and your future DH having a great time, really enjoying yourself and not worrying too much about the details. People still talk about our wedding being great, because DH and I just had a blast.

TLDR: no, don't tell her to pin her fringe back and by all means suggest this hair style to your bridesmaids, but with the option to do something else if they'd prefer.

Rude to ask them to change their style such as their fringe I think.

I strongly prefer having a fringe, and although it's probably not a hill I would choose to die on, I think it's very likely that the hairstyle you like good with all the extra hardware you would need in it to tame the fringe. In your bridesmaid's position I would say, "Well, let's give it a try now, so there are no nasty surprises on the day," and see what we both thought after a mock-up of the style.

As a fringe-haver, I often wear my hair in a similar style for functions and events. Personally I think it looks lovely

And it obvs goes without saying you can only request a hairstyle if you're paying for the up-dos. If they're doing it themselves, then just no

As pp said ARE YOU PAYING??

You sound bloody unhinged.

I'm sorry, there are some words missing from my previous post. I think the bus jerked and my thumb slipped. It should say "... that the style you like would not look as good..."

Dear Bridesmaids, I don’t like how you look and want you to look different…

Why does matching hair matter if their dresses don't? Surely that would look really odd, almost like their hair and make up is done and they're waiting to get their dresses on.

Why the fuck would you want them to all have the same hairstyle, are you doing a spread in Hello magazine?

If you want them all to look the same why not demand clip on fringes for everyone else?

or really go the whole hog and they all get identical wigs?

pfffft 🙄

why do you not want your friends to look LIKE THEMSELVES at your wedding and in the photos?

if someone is a long term fringe person then them without their fringe doesn’t look quite like them and it’s going to be the thing peoples eyes are drawn to in the photos, not your lovely dress etc but your mate who usually sports a full winkleman looking like a shocked shiny moon face.

Look on Pinterest, loads of messy low buns with fringes.