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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Omg my neighbour has really upset me is this ok?

168 replies

Horseytwinkletoes2 · 15/04/2025 21:43

Hi!
Ok so I moved into a house 3 months ago not ventured outside to play and our new garden is being done next week as its not fir to use. Today 2nd day of easter holidays I took my 3 year old and 8 year old round the block on their scooters. I was round the back of one of the neighbours houses she lives 3 doors away and which backs onto a public cul de sac type street. I was out with them for 5 mins when the woman comes from her house and shouts that she needs my children to stop and they're trying to eat their dinner (it was 2.50pm) and all they can here is THAT (pointed to my children) and tbey need to stop and move away. She was sat in her conservatory with the doors open ypu can just make put from over the fence.
At that point my 3 year old scooted off near the road so I ran after her but didn't really know what to say.
I started taking a video of them playing and have them playing on video for 4 mins before she came out. They were literally just talking and saying how bumpy the pavement was etc and laughing as they went over drain bumps. They weren't shouting or anything and i was next to them the whole time.
It reeeeeally upset me as someone who tried to do good by people. But now I'm just filled with anger towards her and wish I'd have bit back.
Orrrrrrr shluld I have just said sorry it was my bad doing?

OP posts:
Mumble12 · 15/04/2025 21:45

That would annoy me and make me want to buy a moped to drive up and down the street all day.

TY78910 · 15/04/2025 21:46

you are in a public place at 3pm. You’ve done nothing wrong. Sounds like she will be THAT neighbour so be prepared to tell her to wind her neck in next time!

londongirl12 · 15/04/2025 21:46

Don’t say sorry, you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong!! If she does it again, just say calmly and firmly that your children are doing nothing wrong and you don’t be stopping them being children. This is all about power, so don’t let her win.

Semana · 15/04/2025 21:48

I wouldn’t give it a second thought. At least she’s not next door.

JLou08 · 15/04/2025 22:00

She is just a miserable person, try not to give it anymore thought other than maybe pity her for having such a miserable life that she would shout and complain about a family having fun at a reasonable time of day. I think ignoring it was the best thing, she certainly doesn't deserve an apology and confronting her may have escalated things. I'd be back there again tomorrow letting the children enjoy their holiday.

BeeCucumber · 15/04/2025 22:05

I wouldn’t take any notice of someone that eats their dinner at 2:50pm.

AlisounOfBath · 15/04/2025 22:10

She sounds like a child-hating misery-guts. These people are best tackled by a) never taking anything they say remotely seriously b) being annoyingly cheerful. Alternatively, tell her to pipe the fuck down. Depends on whether you mind bumping into her around and about afterwards. Personally, with people like this, I adopt a “daft as a brush” persona where I go “oh kids - you know what they’re like!” and then I laugh. If they persist, then I say “awww I hear you!” which makes them think I’ve taken on board what they’ve said but actually I have no intention of acting on it whatsoever.

MissyPants · 15/04/2025 22:27

Well you know what I would do.... I would be louder just to piss her off even more 🤣. She's in the wrong place if she expects solitary peace & quiet.

UniqueRedSquid · 15/04/2025 22:36

I would have told her she was a crank (more swearing if kids couldn’t hear) and thought no more of it.

Fgdvevfvdvfbdv · 15/04/2025 22:38

You and your children have done nothing wrong.
Don't bow down to people like her and don’t apologise. If you apologise this will mark the start of her trying to control everything your children do.

animalculous · 15/04/2025 22:39

I think your children might benefit from taking up the recorder and a little drum and outside practise is essential for these activities 😉

Offcom · 15/04/2025 22:48

Anyone who complains about children playing at 3pm in the afternoon has a lot of problems – but your family is not one of them

JustSawJohnny · 15/04/2025 22:50

Fuck her.

Kids are allowed out in the school holidays.

No need to be upset, though. Just ignore her.

SpringIsSpringing25 · 15/04/2025 22:54

I believe the Easter Bunny is doing a range of bells and whistles this year to go alongside Easter eggs... just where every scooter needs!!!

JorgyPorgy · 15/04/2025 22:55

This is hardly nuisance noise, just kids playing out for a bit which is normal . They’re not going around on noisy quad bikes etc. If she wants silence then she needs to go live somewhere remote . Take no notice

Iwiicit · 15/04/2025 23:00

It doesn't sound like you were doing anything unreasonable. It could be that this woman is just odd. I used to have one who was batshit
My son, age 4, was dancing in our garden, alone and silently. She came out to literally scream at him that he was disturbing the roots of her plants!

HeySnoodie · 15/04/2025 23:04

Just ignore her and carry on with your fun

SheridansPortSalut · 15/04/2025 23:12

You can't reason with crazy people.

Just ignore.

Franjipanl8r · 15/04/2025 23:19

It’s pretty extreme behaviour telling someone off on the street who’s playing with their kids at 3pm. Maybe she has dementia or something else going on. Try not to let her ruin your new home, hopefully you can bond with other new neighbours over her craziness!

Bumcake · 15/04/2025 23:21

She’s a loon, ignore it.

Uppitymuppity · 15/04/2025 23:22

I'd be sure to take my children on the route daily along with a boom box, nasty cow.

JeannieJo · 16/04/2025 00:25

She actually sounds to me like she might have dementia - she’s eating dinner at 2.50pm and shouting at kids for being normal kids - what age is she?

VWT5 · 16/04/2025 06:32

Its taken me decades t learn this - but you can ignore, don’t acknowledge them even being there and say nothing. Pretend she isn’t even there, look beyond and past her.

There is then nothing she can do except make herself look silly.

I model myself an elegant solo older French lady who I witness being bullied by other close European neighbours in a public placd - she just carried on quietly reading her book as though they were completely invisible. I admire her hugely.

Similarly people approaching me or pestering me (Europe and beyond) - I just pretend they are invisible to me. They look foolish if they continue trying.

Bizarrely, when I didn’t want to divulge my nationality/language whilst sitting with a friend (predatory man approached in Europe) I used some utterly silly laughable sign language to convey to my friend that I would “sit for 10 mins here, then walk back” - the intruder realised he had no chance of communicating with us as my friend did utterly silly sign language back to me. Ok, now I sound nuts, but extreme examples…

Oioisavaloy27 · 16/04/2025 06:38

Don't take any notice she is being ridiculous.

pilates · 16/04/2025 06:44

Just ignore - you and your children haven’t done anything wrong