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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Omg my neighbour has really upset me is this ok?

168 replies

Horseytwinkletoes2 · 15/04/2025 21:43

Hi!
Ok so I moved into a house 3 months ago not ventured outside to play and our new garden is being done next week as its not fir to use. Today 2nd day of easter holidays I took my 3 year old and 8 year old round the block on their scooters. I was round the back of one of the neighbours houses she lives 3 doors away and which backs onto a public cul de sac type street. I was out with them for 5 mins when the woman comes from her house and shouts that she needs my children to stop and they're trying to eat their dinner (it was 2.50pm) and all they can here is THAT (pointed to my children) and tbey need to stop and move away. She was sat in her conservatory with the doors open ypu can just make put from over the fence.
At that point my 3 year old scooted off near the road so I ran after her but didn't really know what to say.
I started taking a video of them playing and have them playing on video for 4 mins before she came out. They were literally just talking and saying how bumpy the pavement was etc and laughing as they went over drain bumps. They weren't shouting or anything and i was next to them the whole time.
It reeeeeally upset me as someone who tried to do good by people. But now I'm just filled with anger towards her and wish I'd have bit back.
Orrrrrrr shluld I have just said sorry it was my bad doing?

OP posts:
SparklyGlitterballs · 16/04/2025 06:57

When I read threads like this, where someone in their new home has been upset by awful neighbours, I always assume it's the likely reason the previous neighbours moved out. Did they have kids too? Probably got fed up with these arseholes.

AnyoneWhoHasAHeart · 16/04/2025 07:03

Franjipanl8r · 15/04/2025 23:19

It’s pretty extreme behaviour telling someone off on the street who’s playing with their kids at 3pm. Maybe she has dementia or something else going on. Try not to let her ruin your new home, hopefully you can bond with other new neighbours over her craziness!

MN never fails to disappoint.

OP when I was a child I had a horn thing on my bike which took batteries and sounded like a police, fire engine or ambulance siren. Oh and had a microphone on it.

I think your DD’s need one of those each ;)

As for the woman, if she kicks off again I would tell her shrieking is ruining your enjoyment of your play with her children.

TheBuffetInspector · 16/04/2025 07:11

My Nan shared a maisonette and garden with a miserable out bag like that.

She tried to make everyone's life a misery. She very nearly succeeded then Nan bless her, stopped kowtowing, would shut the door in her face and hang the phone up as the cheeky cow used to ring her aswell.

She was single, no children.

Nan always had her grandkids and great grandkids round.

We'd tell to sod off straight away. Nan wanted a quiet life, then realised she didn't! Open the door to her, shut in it in her face and come back to the living room saying "Silly cow". Blimey Nan
😂

Don't apologise and don't get upset. It's your and your children's neighbourhood. They have a right to play out. Suggest she eats elsewhere and wait for the shock on her face!

BlahBlahBittyBlah · 16/04/2025 07:12

If it happens again, stare blankly at her until she’s finished ranting and then walk away. Don’t respond and completely ignore her, she’s looking for a reaction so don’t give her one. And don’t worry about it, she’s totally out of order.

Whataninterestinglookingpotato · 16/04/2025 07:15

youve done nothing wrong OP.

we have some really loud squealy kids down our road, it can be annoying when you’re sat in the garden but they’re just playing and not doing anything wrong so you can’t be cross with them. We also make a noise when we have BBQs etc. neighbours who live in fairly close proximity needs to be a bit tolerant of each other.

TheBuffetInspector · 16/04/2025 07:17

Franjipanl8r · 15/04/2025 23:19

It’s pretty extreme behaviour telling someone off on the street who’s playing with their kids at 3pm. Maybe she has dementia or something else going on. Try not to let her ruin your new home, hopefully you can bond with other new neighbours over her craziness!

Dementia indeed. She's managed to cook her dinner, sit in her conservatory, seek out OPs kids for a good moan about them.

Guess what? Some old people are just miserable arseholes.

violetqueen6 · 16/04/2025 07:17

I do like

. Personally, with people like this, I adopt a “daft as a brush” persona where I go “oh kids - you know what they’re like!” and then I laugh. If they persist, then I say “awww I hear you!” which makes them think I’ve taken on board what they’ve said but actually I have no intention of acting on it whatsoever.
but personally I couldn't carry it off so I think the advice to ignore her and pretend she is invisible is what I'd go for

She probably thinks the unmade cul de sac is a territory that she controls.
Thank goodness she's not an immediate neighbour.

RaraRachael · 16/04/2025 07:29

You're not in Darlington by any chance OP?
This sounds exactly like my horrible old neighbours who thankfully moved away. When I moved in they told me they'd had to move because they had horrible neighbours. No doubt they're telling the new ones the same story again.

People like these don't realise they are the problem.

GoldGuide · 16/04/2025 07:34

I would say to her next time "thanks for telling me it annoys you so much. I'll be making sure that we do this so much more now." And walk away.

The only way you win in this is if she stops trying to interact with you. Ignore her completely after that - some ppl are just utterly miserable.

DDivaStar · 16/04/2025 07:36

You were obviously not doing anything wrong its a public place. But why stop and play outside someone's house rather than keep scooting round the block or go to a playground?

lottiegarbanzo · 16/04/2025 07:38

You sound like someone who likes to over-react and create drama. So does she. Don’t rise to her nonsense by creating a drama. Be calm, brief and reasonable. People are allowed to use public roads and footpaths. These were not anti-social hours. That’s all there is to it. ‘I’m sorry you feel that way but we are using the public pavement in the middle of the day’.

The13thFairy · 16/04/2025 09:59

Something which has amazed me is the number of people who have advised you to make even more noise outside her house. I'm truly impressed.

Semana · 16/04/2025 10:07

The13thFairy · 16/04/2025 09:59

Something which has amazed me is the number of people who have advised you to make even more noise outside her house. I'm truly impressed.

Again, this is why so many people on Mn struggle with basic relationships with other people, and lurch from chronic self-effacement, appeasement, and people-pleasing to insane levels of aggression and passive-aggression, under the impression it’s ‘standing up for myself’.

Murdoch1949 · 16/04/2025 14:41

I have always refused to have any interactions with neighbours due to the few that are inappropriate like that woman. I am polite and say hello or wave but never more. I don't want to know about them, their family, their lives. I definitely don't want to socialise with them. Ever. Neighbours who start by being lovely can turn so easily into judgemental, demanding idiots. I prevent this by ignoring them!

RaraRachael · 16/04/2025 15:12

My neighbours started off being nice then subjected every member of our family to abuse and damaged our property.
I tried ignoring them but would get passive aggressive comments every time we went past.

Eventually they fell out with all the neighbours and moved away blaming everyone else for being horrible to them

It's such a lovely place now.

MomGran · 17/04/2025 17:43

Nod and smile, and keep doing what you are doing 😊

WorkerBee83 · 17/04/2025 17:48

I’d be tempted to take my kids back with supped up bikes think late 80’s when we put cards on our wheel spokes, a boom box attached to the handle bars and a harmonica each!

GiddyCrab · 17/04/2025 17:48

Mumble12 · 15/04/2025 21:45

That would annoy me and make me want to buy a moped to drive up and down the street all day.

Brilliant. This made me laugh 😃

Shotokan101 · 17/04/2025 17:49

Take a portable music player with you next time.....

jazzybelle · 17/04/2025 17:50

How were you affecting her eating her dinner?!!

Diggin · 17/04/2025 17:51

She’s a neighbour so my advice would be to say nothing much as she deserves it. If it happens again just be calm and deal with it assertively as one other has said. Kicking off will sour you and the environment so be the better person and disarm your ‘enemy’!

Roxietrees · 17/04/2025 17:52

Egg her house - in the spirit of Easter 🐣

SkylarkKitten · 17/04/2025 17:53

It's not her road. Humans make noise. She needs to get over herself.

If your kids were screaming at 10.30pm I'd agree with her. Expecting people to be quiet at 3pm is unreasonable on her part.

Bet she'd be the first to moan about youngsters being indoors on devices all day too 🙄

UtterlyHumiliated · 17/04/2025 17:58

WorkerBee83 · 17/04/2025 17:48

I’d be tempted to take my kids back with supped up bikes think late 80’s when we put cards on our wheel spokes, a boom box attached to the handle bars and a harmonica each!

I mean, I’m not condoning the escalation…but I’d go for kazoos!

edited for typo

BlueFlowers5 · 17/04/2025 18:00

OP sorry you've you had this. I might buy one of them a plastic trumpet and let them enjoy it on your next walk...