To be annoyed at work colleagues

[justanotherimperfectmum2025]

My 4yo DD’s nursery are doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. We were given a sponsor form for people to fill in pledges to then give to the nursery on the day of the event. I brought the form into work (I’ve been there since September 2021) to generate some money 2 weeks ago on 31st when I came back so work from maternity, (that’s when we were given the form by Nursery). I sent a message to the whole team (we have a group chat on what’s app) with a pic of it and the date of the event, and the date of when I would collect. This is the message it read:

“Jess’ nursery is doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. I If you can afford to give anything you can please, it would be much appreciated, no pressure! The egg hunt is on the 16th, so I can collect when I’m last in before that date on the 14th. Thanks! I’ve left it on top of the reception desk whenever you have a chance. Thanks.”

I thought it was nice, polite, not demanding and had stated all the facts clearly. I even reminded them the day before I was due to collect

“To all the staff who have kindly put their name down to sponsor Jess in her Nursery’s egg hunt for Claire House, can you please bring the money to work tomorrow as it’s my last shift before the egg hunt on Wednesday. Thank you”

Only 2 people put their names down out of the whole lot. One was my manager which I thought would have added more weight to it.

AIBU to expect slightly more than that and feel annoyed that not that many put their names down after giving them notice? The money isn’t even for me or my DD, it wasn’t even for the nursery, it is for a charity.

Family have helped out too, though, I’m not disregarding or invalidating their contributions and I appreciate times are hard everything is going up and everyone is tightening their belts (ours included), but they had no problem giving money for someone’s retirement , and as much as I’m not taking it as a personal attack, I cannot help but feel like it’s partly popularity contest, if I was more ‘pally’ with some of the more well liked members of staff, or the louder, more extroverted ones, that more people would have put their names down?

The only thing that worries me is that where my place of work and DD nursery is based is in an affluent, ‘posh’ area, so all the children’s parents will all have high end, higher paid jobs, and if they do the same thing I did, they’re all going to come with money into the £50-100’s, and I’ll look like a cheap dick head with only something like £20-30 quid. I’m going to feel awful or judged if I’ve not raised as much as the other parents have.

AIBU to be annoyed/disappointed
or
IABU to have hoped for more?

sorry for the long post!

Please be kind

Thanks

"Judging people by own standards" 😂

So have you sponsored any of your colleagues’ children then? The passive aggressive “judging by your own standards” is completely uncalled for. It was massively inappropriate to ask yet you still seem convinced you have the moral high ground here, because “charity”.

There are so many things up with this.
Easter Egg Hunts are fun, they are no hardship for your child. This leads me to the fact that lots of people hate sponsoring people because they are using it to do the thing they wanted to do. They already wanted to run that marathon/ jump out of that plane / climb that mountain. Possibly a level of challenge but no hardship. If I want to support a charity I give to the charity.

If I give to Jane's retirement, it's because I personally had a relationship with and like Jane. That's completely irrelevant to giving or not giving money for a child I don't know to do something fun for a charity I might or might not support.

Look, I might, just might sponsor a really impressive effort like riding 100 miles or running an ultra marathon, if its for an incredible cause, but silly little things? No, sod off. I’ll support my own chosen charities.

I think you’re completely overestimating your colleagues interest in YOUR child, why would they care?

How will the other parents even know how much your daughter raised? I’m on a nursery committee and can assure you a sizeable number of parents won’t even bother to engage with this at all.

I have a colleague, of whom I’m very fond, who runs ultra-marathons. The response he mostly gets in the office is gentle slagging of the ‘Therapy is also a possibility, you know’ and ‘Wouldn’t it be easier to buy a Maserati and get a twentysomething mistress?’

In my office we had an agreement that no one would ask for sponsorship for themselves or their children.

Exactly, noone gives two shits about their work colleagues children doing an egg hunt at nursery. And, even work friends who may care a bit more, would not be impressed enough with this feat of endurance of a 2 year old collecting chocolate eggs to sponsor it.
Honestly, OP, you are coming across as a bit batshit. Please take a step back from the egg hunt madness. Would you really be invested in any way, if a colleagues child was collecting easter eggs at nursery. This is an activity that grandma and Aunty can sponsor 1 pound each and the kids can enjoy collecting the change. It's not a huge organised sponsored event.

My kids are 15 and 11 and I have never asked people at work to sponsor them for anything.

The only sponsorship I have ever given at work is for things where people were raising money for the hospice that another work colleague was in before he died or for raising money for research into the illness that caused a 30 something colleague to leave work on the Friday night with a cheery wave and be dead by Monday morning.

‘I cannot help but feel like it’s partly popularity contest, if I was more ‘pally’ with some of the more well liked members of staff, or the louder, more extroverted ones, that more people would have put their names down?’

I hate to break it to you, but making these sorts of requests of your colleagues is not going to improve your popularity, quite the opposite. Learn from this and don’t bother them again.

A raffle is totally different, too, op. They know most people will just bring in an unwanted gift or similar, they won’t be expecting people to go out and buy something to donate.

YABVVVVU. I'd never dream of asking colleagues to donate anyway.... but if I did, I wouldn't in a million years be annoyed if they don't!

I get SO many requests for donations from friends/colleagues and therefore I tend to ignore almost all. I donate to charities I want to donate to (and if I'm doing a charity event or if my kids are, I'll donate the money myself so I don't put the burden onto friends/family/colleagues). I'm actually doing a charity event in the summer which wants a minimum donation to take part ... and I'll be paying that myself. I don't see why I should ask others to fund me doing the event, and I factored that in before deciding to sign up.

You are bring ridiculous and really unfair to expect your colleagues to donate. You will have many many years ahead of you with your children needing to raise money for charity - please learn from this this time rather than later down the line.

I actually detest when people do this kind of thing at work but I suppose this was a good cause so I probably would have donated.

What I would have done differently is that I would have put a bit of a blurb in your e-mail about Claire House and highlighted the importance of it and the work they do, often times when people see e-mails like that going around they automatically ignore them without thinking about the actual cause

Its disappointing that more didn’t donate but I genuinely think that people in the workplace unfortunately really dislike these kind of fundraising e-mails

At least you tried though so good on you!

‘And, even work friends who may care a bit more, would not be impressed enough with this feat of endurance of a 2 year old collecting chocolate eggs to sponsor it.’

😂 love this! Completely agree.

I'm a fundraiser and in my professional opinion, your approach is not what I advise my event participants to do. You made it about the event (egg hunt) rather than the charity. The most efficient way to raise a high amount is good storytelling. Your colleagues might not have heard of this charity - I haven't. Explain what the charity does and your personal connection. Give an example of someone they've helped, ideally someone you know, and what difference it made.

Often these events only just raise enough to cover the costs. They're more about marketing the charity than raising big bucks.

I've done a challenge event in the past and raised a decent amount, because my friends, family and colleagues knew I'd been passionate about the cause (wildlife) for many years.

This. Really not good to be pestering people at work for charity donations. There's one guy at my workplace who does this - hes messaged a few times now about a charity event hes doing - and people are getting pretty annoyed it him... I doubt anyone has said anything to his face, but there have been a few eyerolls and muted grumbles.

I think that's really sensible.

Yabu. It's a sponsored egg hunt...so you're expecting/ wanting your colleagues to sponsor your child to look around for eggs? I'd only do that if the charity meant something to me or if it was a close friends child.

Exactly this! There is no comparison between a charity sponsorship donation, and a colleague's retirement gift They are completely different things.

Also, I'm SO with you on the challenging events thing!!

This. I never ask anyone to sponsor me and I never sponsor anyone. We choose 3 charities per year to donate a share of £500 to. Two of the three change every year. The third one is always cancer research because cancer killed my husband's late wife.

Honestly it's been 15 years since l worked in an office but we were always sponsoring each other's kids to do pointless stuff, but it was just normally £5ish. I don't see problem in asking.

I have never, ever participated in my kids charity fund raising. I don't even buy chocolate for myself. This way, no-one expects anything from me. I might be considered one of 'those mums', but who cares. I've never allowed myself to feel guilty either.

Start as you mean to go on! You've got years and years of this ahead of you 😀

I don't sponsor people for doing something fun. Why would a child need sponsoring to look for eggs which is a fun childhood activity that they would be doing regardless of the sponsorship money.

I sponsored my friend for shaving her hair off in support of her Mum who had cancer. I sponsored a work colleague who was running a half marathon despite only just having completed couch to 5k in support of her DM who had died of MND. Can you see the difference?

I wouldn't even embarrass myself by asking family to sponsor an egg hunt let alone work colleagues. I would just put some money in and consider it a donation.

'Judging people by your own standards' Ridiculous sanctimonious drivel. Oh I'm such a good and saintly person.Revolting