To be annoyed at work colleagues

[justanotherimperfectmum2025]

My 4yo DD’s nursery are doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. We were given a sponsor form for people to fill in pledges to then give to the nursery on the day of the event. I brought the form into work (I’ve been there since September 2021) to generate some money 2 weeks ago on 31st when I came back so work from maternity, (that’s when we were given the form by Nursery). I sent a message to the whole team (we have a group chat on what’s app) with a pic of it and the date of the event, and the date of when I would collect. This is the message it read:

“Jess’ nursery is doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. I If you can afford to give anything you can please, it would be much appreciated, no pressure! The egg hunt is on the 16th, so I can collect when I’m last in before that date on the 14th. Thanks! I’ve left it on top of the reception desk whenever you have a chance. Thanks.”

I thought it was nice, polite, not demanding and had stated all the facts clearly. I even reminded them the day before I was due to collect

“To all the staff who have kindly put their name down to sponsor Jess in her Nursery’s egg hunt for Claire House, can you please bring the money to work tomorrow as it’s my last shift before the egg hunt on Wednesday. Thank you”

Only 2 people put their names down out of the whole lot. One was my manager which I thought would have added more weight to it.

AIBU to expect slightly more than that and feel annoyed that not that many put their names down after giving them notice? The money isn’t even for me or my DD, it wasn’t even for the nursery, it is for a charity.

Family have helped out too, though, I’m not disregarding or invalidating their contributions and I appreciate times are hard everything is going up and everyone is tightening their belts (ours included), but they had no problem giving money for someone’s retirement , and as much as I’m not taking it as a personal attack, I cannot help but feel like it’s partly popularity contest, if I was more ‘pally’ with some of the more well liked members of staff, or the louder, more extroverted ones, that more people would have put their names down?

The only thing that worries me is that where my place of work and DD nursery is based is in an affluent, ‘posh’ area, so all the children’s parents will all have high end, higher paid jobs, and if they do the same thing I did, they’re all going to come with money into the £50-100’s, and I’ll look like a cheap dick head with only something like £20-30 quid. I’m going to feel awful or judged if I’ve not raised as much as the other parents have.

AIBU to be annoyed/disappointed
or
IABU to have hoped for more?

sorry for the long post!

Please be kind

Thanks

Never did I ever ask anyone, friend family or colleagues to contribute to these things from nursery/school. I hate them. We always made a family donation and that was it. YABU. It’s your child. Nobody else needs to pay for them.

Why would I sponsor a child doing something fun? It's just a egg hunt at Easter.

You also clearly didn't mean 'no pressure'.

It's fine to ask but not at all fine to expect people to donate. There's always someone asking for money for something and people have the right to choose their charities on the basis of what they do, not the basis of whose child is fundraising.

OP, are you always willing to give to every charity every time you are asked by anyone you know, even if you don't agree with what the charity is doing? You must be unusual in that.

I’ve got 3 kids and I’ve never asked work colleagues to sponsor them. I only asked friends and family.

Yep! That's us misers told.

You still sound judgey and incredibly self-important from this post. Your colleagues likely don’t ask you to sponsor their kids because they’re actually mindful not to pester people at work with personal matters.

Maybe try judging yourself by their standards - you might become more self aware in the process.

I would think you were incredibly cheeky to have asked work colleagues at all and then to remind them again. Cringe. I would think there were quite a few raised eyebrows and sniggers at your request.

Do not mix your personal life with your work life.

The child's parents/grandparents and family are the only people who should be asked (lightly) to sponsor your child.

The only exception to this would be if your child was cutting off her hair to donate to a cancer charity or similar. People tend to sponsor big gestures like that, not Easter egg hunts.

I would not give a penny to anything like this and I don’t think you should ask people at work for money like this.

It’s not for you, not for your daughter, not even for the nursery she goes to, it’s for a charity that they could donate to themselves if they wanted to. They don’t need a load of middlemen and don’t need reminders.

I hope you are ok and not too upset by that comment. No way would I donate to this either.

You’ve just returned from maternity leave and you’re now trying to raise money for something non-work related? I would have swerved too!

Nursery and school fundraising is for friends and families of the children, not your work colleagues! You can only ask work colleagues to sponsor your own fundraising events, if you run a marathon or something like that. You’ve been a bit cheeky asking.

Can you imagine what it would be like if everyone brought their kids sponsor cards to work?

Oh come on! The egg hunt must at least have involved climbing Kilimanjaro, then in the afternoon, Everest. Backwards.

Anything less would have been too embarrassing to even mention ‘sponsorship’ for. Utterly ridiculous to ask co-workers for something so trivial. They must now all be taking the p!ss behind the OP’s back. 🙄

You are being v unreasonable. I have one of these “high end, higher paid jobs” you speak of and never once have I taken in a sponsor form for one of my children’s events, nor have any of my colleagues for their children and I’ve worked there over a decade. It’s not the norm. People don’t want to sponsor a nursery event for a child they don’t know, it’s nothing personal. We do sponsor marathons, bike rides etc for colleagues but then we actually know the person doing it.

Same. My son did a sponsored thing for school I stuck money in myself. I cba hassling neighbours for change.

probably judging people by my own standards and thinking that if I’m willing to do this, other people would have

I don't think "standards" is the correct word here. You're expecting others to have the same priorities and attitudes that you have. The word "standards" suggests one approach is more laudable or worthy than the other. If anything, I would consider bringing a sponsorship form in to work, particularly when you said your main aim was to keep up with the Jones in terms of donations, is not a particularly laudable act.

Is this child your oldest child? Perhaps you didn't realise that a sponsored egg hunt isn't a big deal and it's a way of getting 20 quid or so from each child for charity. You're not meant to actually go round requesting sponsorship other than a fiver from granny etc

Believe me, over the next 14 years you will have so many of these sponsorship forms coming your way you'll just fill them out absentmindedly and give £20.

Our forms used to say they were for sponsorship within the family and not door to door. (and that certainly means not in the work environment)

I think you've got the message loud and clear now.

I give or raise money to the charities that I care about, my DC’s medical conditions and the hospital I work at. If I gave to every charity that I was asked to contribute to then I’d be broke.

Wait until your child starts school and you have to contribute to all sorts of things and all their activities that are run by volunteers and need money. It’s endless.

AIBU to expect slightly more than that and feel annoyed that not that many put their names down after giving them notice?

Yes, YABU.

Move on.

Fair play to you OP 😊

But also this…

I had deleted your messege. And been annoyed.
Your child's nursery egg hunt is none of my business at work. What so ever.

Ha. Good god no. Most people would have thought as I do; ‘I’m not sponsoring an unknown toddler to do Easter egg hunt’. Ridiculous.

A woman at work who barely ever acknowledges me at the best of time asked for sponsor money for her child. I gave $5 and then overheard her moaning that I’d only given her $5. Won’t be giving anything next time.

But I do think you are BU to expect colleagues to give money for a random cause