To be annoyed at work colleagues

[justanotherimperfectmum2025]

My 4yo DD’s nursery are doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. We were given a sponsor form for people to fill in pledges to then give to the nursery on the day of the event. I brought the form into work (I’ve been there since September 2021) to generate some money 2 weeks ago on 31st when I came back so work from maternity, (that’s when we were given the form by Nursery). I sent a message to the whole team (we have a group chat on what’s app) with a pic of it and the date of the event, and the date of when I would collect. This is the message it read:

“Jess’ nursery is doing a sponsored egg hunt for Claire House. I If you can afford to give anything you can please, it would be much appreciated, no pressure! The egg hunt is on the 16th, so I can collect when I’m last in before that date on the 14th. Thanks! I’ve left it on top of the reception desk whenever you have a chance. Thanks.”

I thought it was nice, polite, not demanding and had stated all the facts clearly. I even reminded them the day before I was due to collect

“To all the staff who have kindly put their name down to sponsor Jess in her Nursery’s egg hunt for Claire House, can you please bring the money to work tomorrow as it’s my last shift before the egg hunt on Wednesday. Thank you”

Only 2 people put their names down out of the whole lot. One was my manager which I thought would have added more weight to it.

AIBU to expect slightly more than that and feel annoyed that not that many put their names down after giving them notice? The money isn’t even for me or my DD, it wasn’t even for the nursery, it is for a charity.

Family have helped out too, though, I’m not disregarding or invalidating their contributions and I appreciate times are hard everything is going up and everyone is tightening their belts (ours included), but they had no problem giving money for someone’s retirement , and as much as I’m not taking it as a personal attack, I cannot help but feel like it’s partly popularity contest, if I was more ‘pally’ with some of the more well liked members of staff, or the louder, more extroverted ones, that more people would have put their names down?

The only thing that worries me is that where my place of work and DD nursery is based is in an affluent, ‘posh’ area, so all the children’s parents will all have high end, higher paid jobs, and if they do the same thing I did, they’re all going to come with money into the £50-100’s, and I’ll look like a cheap dick head with only something like £20-30 quid. I’m going to feel awful or judged if I’ve not raised as much as the other parents have.

AIBU to be annoyed/disappointed
or
IABU to have hoped for more?

sorry for the long post!

Please be kind

Thanks

Yes YABU - anything you raise will be welcome. But you make it sound as though it a popularity contest with the wealthier families. It really isn't. I hardly think the nursery is going to broadcast how much each household has raised.

Most charities are just gravy trains, I never give

I would be stressed because every week there is a work colleague doing a run or charity thing and people feel obliged to , it soon adds up especially if people go on maternity and there is a collection or if someone leaves or a big birthday.
I would feel embarrassed to put less than a tenner in to those so I can see both sides.I don't ever do anything for charity where I have to ask colleagues for money.Only family.
Tricky one.

Yes totally agree.

Yes best to keep the kids sponsor things family and friends only, not the office

I never sponsor anybody because I donate all year round to my chosen recipients. If people ask me I explain as I'm not in a position to support other people's choices also.

I would not sponsor this. There is no actual effort - you are not washing cars or picking litter- you are searching for chocolate eggs. Ridiculous.
I have charities I give to by direct debit and do not appreciate being asked to sponsor an additional something like this,
Your colleagues might feel the same and not want to sponsor to support your kid

YABU. I would never give to work colleagues fundraisers (either for something they are doing or their children) and I wouldn’t ask either of course. If you have a large workplace you could get endless requests and then feel obliged to give to all of them if you start giving to one. If I donate to charity I prefer to choose the charity myself.

The requests for money from DC's schools are never ending. If everyone from my office brought in sponsor forms for all fundraisers for their kids it would be a daily occurrence.
Unless they know your DC well or have a connection to the charity, it's really not likely to feature highly on their radar as something they want to do. It isn't the same as donating to a retirement gift for a colleague they have worked with.
Don't worry about giving less than someone else. It's not a competition.

I would also be pretty annoyed at the nursery for this. We pay them a lot of money to look after our children and shouldn’t be expected to fundraise too or donate money to a charity on their behalf. My daughter has been at nursery almost 2 years and we haven’t had anything like this.

Omg is be so annoyed if someone at work expected colleagues to be sponsoring her preschooler for stuff 😳
Charity is a personal choice and I already have my own young children to be sponsoring for stuff/ paying for school fairs and non uniform days etc.

I don't know anyone who would ask work colleagues to sponsor for something like this isn't it usually for parents /grandparents, maybe a few aunts/uncles to sponsor them?!

Exactly.
How about change it around? Ask for sponsorship for your child NOT to eat any stupid chocolate Easter eggs at all, ever.
Would be better for everyone.😀

No no no OP. Never bring this sort of thing to work. It’s just not done.

Better not to go outside the family for sponsors. Why worry what others are collecting?

I don’t think it’s appropriate to ask colleaguess to sponsor your kid’s nursery activities

next time, donate £5 yourself and dont harrass your co-workers

the kid wont know

Plus..::nobody has cash any more. Are they supposed to transfer online?

Definitely inappropriate for work. I used to work with someone that did this all the time and it was always ‘no pressure’. Yes it’s for charity, but it’s also for you. Like you said, you don’t want to look bad. You shouldn’t put that obligation on your colleagues, it’s not their responsibility to boost your status with the nursery.

I hate when my co workers brings their collection card to work, I never do it I always contribute myself to my kids collection and will only ask family at a push. I will always give but I got a comment once from my boss that I did not give the same amount than the other. I repied to her that as she is aware I am a single mom of 3 kids with no partner and an ex husband who give the minimun maintenance so cannot afford to put a £20 note for collection without having to sacrifice something. Bloody cheek of her.

Covid put a stop to a lot of sponsored charity things. Just realised I rarely get emails now from
colleagues or friends asking for donations.

The only one I give to is a colleague who works with a children’s hospital. I

A charity raffle would work better I think.

Good! How did she react?

There are so many sponsors for everything so people have to prioritise. It's no longer fill a form for a few quid, everyone assumes minimum of a fiver and the donations all show publicly.

With my DC I just ask around with gamily and friends and even then not often, we usually just put the money in ourselves. Xx

Yes, YABVU! Generally, colleagues do not want to give their hard earned cash to other colleague’s kids. They probably get asked by family members already anyway. And comparing it to someone’s retirement is laughable! Don’t get caught up in trying to keep up with the Jones’, I’m sure the charity will appreciate whatever you donate.

kindly, @justanotherimperfectmum2025

why would I donate because a child is doing an Easter egg hunt. Even if it were for a cause I support, I channel all my charitable donations via payroll giving, which my employer boosts by 50%

why do you think I should divert any of that for a colleague’s child doing an egg hunt.

Just not the done thing in my opinion, fair enough if someone is running a marathon or skydiver something that requires real effort for a bonafide charity ,but not for a little sponsored event at school or nursery, otherwise folk would be constantly putting their hands in their pockets, we all have kids, grandkids or someone doing something like this, I personally only ever put mine and other halves names down, their siblings, grandparents and occasionally the dog!!

I'm assuming this is your first child if she's at nursery. Wait until she's at school. Things like this are a regular occupancy. It's relentless and you end up sending a tenner in and putting a few family members names down.

I bet in all the time you've been working there people haven't bought their kids sponsorship forms in? It's because everyone feels the same.

Wait until school when it's Comic Relief day, Red Nose Day, World Book Day, Wrong Trousers Day.....