To regret moving DP in to my house

[JadeySmiles]

After a challenging weekend I am really starting to think I’ve made a big mistake here 😫

Background - I have been with DP for c.1.5 years, brilliant relationship, get along with each others family and similar goals for the future etc.

He moved in with me at my suggestion a couple of months ago when the tenancy on his flat was up.

I’ve been subtly asking him to contribute to more of the household chores without much uptake and this weekend I was a bit more direct in asking him to do certain things.

His response to me asking him to clean the bathroom was to blankly stare at me and say ‘I am male’. We saw friends on Sunday afternoon (another couple) and he said to my friends DH something along the lines of ‘yeah, she asked me to clean the bathroom yesterday. Not our job is it!’ and burst out laughing.

He has made what I thought were light hearted comments in the past about me being in the kitchen and that being my natural habit which I laughed off but in light of what he has said, I wonder if he was joking!

He has some annoying habit, 2 or 3 times he has made a mess of the toilet and not used the brush, leaving me to clean it up. His response is to laugh and say that I will need to get used to living with a man.

Is this really normal?! I feel I’ve potentially ruined our relationship by moving him in too early..

Your boyfriend wants a trad wife but he’s not a trad husband

Good point. So many men want a traditional housewife but somehow miss the bit about them being the breadwinner

Presumably cooked by you and which you'll have to clean up after as well. Doesn't sound a great deal to me (for you).

Did you just say he ate your meal and then went to see his mate 😳? With no prior warning as if it is ok he just leaves you for the evening…?

congrats! You are a mum 😔

It's not about too soon it's about him being a scruffy pig.

I'm assuming you visited his old flat? Was that dirty with messy toilets? Or is he taking advantage?

Please don't have babies with a misogynist. For your sake, and your future children's sake.

Not just too soon but at all. He goes.

@Labragoogle I'm convinced it's a wind up too. The op has described him as brilliant , won't expand on it and he sounds awful.

This, I would be so done.

After having the conversation and the oh shucks I didn’t know how to do it and I thought just because I’d been to Tescos once, that that meant you paid for everything else and did everything else… Oh and I’m off to the pub, laters…

don’t consider having babies with this dickhead-can you imagine what that will look like? The same and worse as you won’t be working. Welcome to the 1950s hunny.

Unfortunately I think you've just found out that he's not the MAN you thought he was, just a mere boy. Him mentioning it to his equally immature friends suggests he is sadly not yet ready to be anyone's partner. Who cleaned the toilet in his flat?! Did he have to get his Mum around so she could wipe him every time he had a poo?

Get rid - he's a pain and a liability.

His mum cleaned it for him.

I think he thinks she is actually both - get rid quick it'll only get worse

My heart absolutely goes out to you. You mention a brilliant relationship, getting on with each other's families, similar life goals BUT his behaviour is appalling. As he is now grown up, it's baked in and you will not be able to do anything about it. If you stay in this relationship you can downgrade it so that you will never be a real couple. But that's not much of an option is it? If you try to be with him as a couple you will continue to find yourself belittled and disrespected at home, and also increasingly when you're out with friends and family. It probably feels really hard, and maybe you posted in the hope that the hive mind would come up with a solution. But there really isn't one. I hope you can get rid with as little pain as possible. This is a chapter to close for you own sake.

Please don’t say you cooked for him?

who the fuck thinks you’re being unreasonable???

Mate... You watching the footy down the pub tonight.
Him ... Want to but Her Indoors wants to give me a lecture about chores.
Mate... Ha Ha Ha Noooo
Him... tell you what, text after I've had dinner cooked for me and then I can escape.

All my male relatives know EXACTLY when a good match is on and where and who they'll be watching it with. It's never a surprise. "Quite by chance" text.

I've lived with task regression along time ago, they didn't like being told do it again - I didn't like eating off a plate with last night's gravy still on it, or having to washing the pots after I cooked - he didn't when he cooked!
They either shape up or shake off.

You get the last laugh and tell him he either starts cleaning the loo (especially after he leaves a mess…disgusting 🤮) or he finds somewhere else to live.

Have a word with his mum and ask if she done his housework and tell her what kind of sexist pig she’s raised.

Why do you want to put him on your mortgage? How does this benefit you?

So, you believe that the chauvinistic toss that came out of his mouth (I'm a man, we don't do that stuff do we?" ) will never rear its head again? A changed man?

Sigh 😕

How naive can you be?

Priorities eh?

You’re being mugged off OP. The current arrangement suits him. He has absolutely no intention of lifting a finger. If he does offer anything, it will be to pay more in return for you being his skivvy. He might offer to hoover or wash up (easy jobs) but mark my words, that man will not be washing his own clothes and he will not be cleaning the loo.

Tell tarzan to get in the real world and go clean up his own mess .. give him the loo brush in a gift bag .. if he doesn't get the hint bye bye .. who are you his cleaner upper I don't think so !!

Send him back to mummy so she can teach him some bloody manners and to respect women and to teach him he needs to clean his own shit up. I just hate these arrogant men who the hell do they think they are. No doubt you go out to work too.Just stand up to him .It take two to have sex and two to run a home 🤬

Fucking hell op. His mums thinking thank fuck youve come along to clean his shit stained bog and pick his shitty y fronts off the floor each day! Jesus, ive got the ick for you! He wont change, he will go along with it for a bit, shut you up, do a crappy job so youll eventually take it over and bam back to square one! Dont put him on the mortgage for christ sake. Get rid

Yea think so honestly.