Page 14 | To find this bizarre? Friend and soap

miraxxx · 16/04/2025 08:05

If OP used the same tone with her friend as she has used here, I am not surprised the friend retaliated.

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 16/04/2025 08:06

miraxxx · 16/04/2025 08:02

You asked who was weird. Weirdness is subjective and overwhelming consensus is that you are. The all soaps are the same distraction doesnt change that.

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Literally this! 👏

Sharptonguedwoman · 16/04/2025 08:08

TennesseeStella · 15/04/2025 19:01

Who washes their hands with shower gel?!

If that's what there is, I would. Is it not more or less the same?

nomas · 16/04/2025 08:15

OP, 1,632 people have told you you were confusing. That’s huge.

Why not just say use the Radox bottle if you didn’t want to say shower gel?

You have used so many euphemisms for shower gel like ‘stuff in the bottle’ and ‘some behind the shower’.

ChristmasFluff · 16/04/2025 08:15

I would have no problem washing my hands with shower gel, but if you said there was soap there, I'd be looking for soap or liquid soap, not shower gel, If there was none there, I'd assume you were mistaken and thought you'd put some there and hadn't. So I'd do the same as your friend, because I'd think you would then reply 'oh, sorry, there's some in the cupboard' or whatever.

If you'd said 'I've run out but there's shower gel behind the shower screen' then there's clarity on what to use.

Mnetcurious · 16/04/2025 08:15

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 07:43

I don’t understand posts like this. Mumsnet is not a democracy. I don’t have to abide by majority vote!

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Or rather, you just can’t accept that you’re wrong and that’s what it boils down to.

I completely agree that shower gel is perfectly fine to wash your hands with. What you did wrong was not communicate that you meant for her to use your shower gel. As evidenced by the overwhelming majority of voters, unless you had explicitly said “oh just use the shower gel” then no one would have expected that’s what you meant when they asked for soap. Like another poster said, if you asked for spaghetti and your friend said there’s some in the cupboard, you wouldn’t assume that she meant the penne even though it’s a perfectly valid alternative.

Your passive-aggressive use of the laughing emoji as a reaction to perfectly valid comments like my earlier one in this thread shows you can’t handle the truth being pointed out to you and only want people to agree with you. A majority 85% vote on social norms should show you that you need to accept you should have been more clear. [awaits pass-agg laughter reaction from op].

Annettecurtaintwitcher · 16/04/2025 08:17

What a frustrating thread! The majority of people would have been confused it appears. Not because the products are dissimilar, not because they cannot be used interchangeably if necessary. Just because they have different names. You said soap, so she was looking for the bloody soap.

There are lots of things that can possibly be used for the same thing but have different names. If you said you had a white car I would be looking for a car not a fricking van. Pasta/noodles, essentially the same thing but if you said noodles and you only had pasta in your cupboard I would still look for/or ask where the noodles were in case I had missed something!

miraxxx · 16/04/2025 08:20

I would have no issue washing my hands with fairy liquid or shower gel but I have issues with people telling me all soaps are EXACTLY the same and I should happily shower with fairy liquid or wash babies with them.

DiscoBeat · 16/04/2025 08:24

Shower gel isn't usually anti bacterial so I prefer hand soap, but obviously shower gel would do. But I wouldn't go fishing about in the shower looking for it in someone else's house, so I'd mention it. What an odd system. Just buy some flipping soap.

SharpLily · 16/04/2025 08:30

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 07:43

I don’t understand posts like this. Mumsnet is not a democracy. I don’t have to abide by majority vote!

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Of course not, but don't post in AIBU if you're not prepared to accept that in fact YABU! You could have posted in chat instead for example.

And as far as soap and shower gel being the same...

https://www.sanex.co.uk/products/shower/zero-normal-shower-gel#:~:text=With%200%25%20colourants%2C%200%25,respects%20your%20skin's%20natural%20pH.

No soap. Soap free shpwer gel. There are many, that's just one example.

The difference according to Palmolive:

"Soap and shower gel: What’s the difference?

Soap and shower gel can both be used to effectively clean the skin but they differ in several ways. Soap comes in the form of a bar, is usually made with animal or vegetable fats and is often scented with essential oils or moisturisers such as glycerine. Shower gels, on the other hand, come in liquid form and are packaged in plastic or glass containers. They also come in different textures – from creamy washes to foaming gels – with specific ingredients to target skin concerns such as dryness or sensitivity."
https://www.palmolive.co.uk/news-and-articles/personal-care-routine/soap-vs-shower-gel#:~:text=Soap%20and%20shower%20gel%20can,such%20as%20dryness%20or%20sensitivity.

Original poster

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 08:30

nomas · 16/04/2025 08:15

OP, 1,632 people have told you you were confusing. That’s huge.

Why not just say use the Radox bottle if you didn’t want to say shower gel?

You have used so many euphemisms for shower gel like ‘stuff in the bottle’ and ‘some behind the shower’.

Oh come on - this is getting deranged. “Euphemisms”? “Didn’t want to say shower gel”? It’s not a swear word last time I checked!

OP posts:

Original poster

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 08:32

Your passive-aggressive use of the laughing emoji as a reaction to perfectly valid comments like my earlier one in this thread shows you can’t handle the truth being pointed out to you and only want people to agree with you. A majority 85% vote on social norms should show you that you need to accept you should have been more clear. [awaits pass-agg laughter reaction from op].

Bloody hell, it’s all gone a bit Jack Nicholson.

For the record though, I’m sorry if I came across as passive aggressive. I didn’t mean to be passive.

OP posts:

Original poster

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 08:33

Of course not, but don't post in AIBU if you're not prepared to accept that in fact YABU! You could have posted in chat instead for example.

I don’t have to accept it.

OP posts:

Original poster

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 08:33

DiscoBeat · 16/04/2025 08:24

Shower gel isn't usually anti bacterial so I prefer hand soap, but obviously shower gel would do. But I wouldn't go fishing about in the shower looking for it in someone else's house, so I'd mention it. What an odd system. Just buy some flipping soap.

Christ on a bloody bike…

OP posts:

Mnetcurious · 16/04/2025 08:36

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 08:32

Your passive-aggressive use of the laughing emoji as a reaction to perfectly valid comments like my earlier one in this thread shows you can’t handle the truth being pointed out to you and only want people to agree with you. A majority 85% vote on social norms should show you that you need to accept you should have been more clear. [awaits pass-agg laughter reaction from op].

Bloody hell, it’s all gone a bit Jack Nicholson.

For the record though, I’m sorry if I came across as passive aggressive. I didn’t mean to be passive.

The aggression is loud and clear, no worries there. You really need to give up now and stop digging your heels in - you’re coming across worse and worse with every post.

threenaancurrywhore · 16/04/2025 08:38

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 08:33

Of course not, but don't post in AIBU if you're not prepared to accept that in fact YABU! You could have posted in chat instead for example.

I don’t have to accept it.

You stick to your guns, OP! Call shower gel “soap”! Call yoghurt “milk!” Call orzo “rice”! It’s all just “stuff in packaging” isn’t it and definitely worth being stubbornly aggressive over. Invite your friend to dinner to make peace, serve her beans on toast and call it a pizza – it’s tomatoey stuff on a flat carb, what’s the diff?

DappledThings · 16/04/2025 08:40

Mnetcurious · 16/04/2025 08:36

The aggression is loud and clear, no worries there. You really need to give up now and stop digging your heels in - you’re coming across worse and worse with every post.

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I'm not reading any aggression. A fairly silly refusal to accept that just saying "sorry, must have run out, there's shower gel instead" would have been far more sensible and avoided the entire scenario but not aggression.

And entirely justified exasperation at people still saying "just buy soap" and totally inventing the scenario that is isn't already just what OP does.

Original poster

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 08:51

DappledThings · 16/04/2025 07:50

And to be fair the thread has been completely skewed by the ludicrous number of posters who can't read and have said things like "why don't you just buy soap. Refusing to buy handsoap is weird".

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Exactly! I’ve seen this before on Mumsnet, but never quite to this extent.

Me: I realised the soap in the dispenser must have run out.
People who can’t read: OMG, why wouldn’t you buy soap?! Just buy soap!! Are you poor?

Me: Because the soap had run out, I told friend there was more on the side of the bath behind the shower screen.
PWCR: Why did you expect her to know that’s where it would be? I’d never think to go looking in the shower! Why on earth do you keep it there?! Why wouldn’t you have soap on the sink?!

Me: There was only one bottle there, so even if she’d wondered why I said soap instead of shower gel, it couldn’t have been anything else.
PWCR: OMG but what if she hadn’t been able to find it amongst 73 bottles of hair conditioner, body lotion, hair removal cream, skin exfoliant, urine samples etc.?!

Me: I hadn’t realised the dispenser was empty; I said there was more behind the shower screen.
PWCR: OMG why do you only have one bottle that you keep moving around?! What if it had touched your fanny?!

OP posts:

Nominative · 16/04/2025 08:51

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 16/04/2025 07:13

The classic.....
Was I wrong?
Yes!
No I wasn't.

Not even true.

Original poster

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 08:52

Mnetcurious · 16/04/2025 08:36

The aggression is loud and clear, no worries there. You really need to give up now and stop digging your heels in - you’re coming across worse and worse with every post.

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Good.

OP posts:

Mnetcurious · 16/04/2025 08:53

DappledThings · 16/04/2025 08:40

I'm not reading any aggression. A fairly silly refusal to accept that just saying "sorry, must have run out, there's shower gel instead" would have been far more sensible and avoided the entire scenario but not aggression.

And entirely justified exasperation at people still saying "just buy soap" and totally inventing the scenario that is isn't already just what OP does.

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The aggression wasn’t to her friend, there’s definitely an aggressive tone in her posts - in the one I quoted she’s actually admitting the intention.

Menapausemum1974 · 16/04/2025 08:54

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 18:56

A friend came around earlier as I had a half day. Before she left, she said she was just popping to the loo. I then heard her call a minute later, “Splodge? There’s no soap”.

I have a dispenser, so I assumed it had run out and called back that there was some on the side of the bath. There was a pause and she called back, “No, not here”. I knew it was there so replied, “Just against the wall, behind the shower screen”. Again, a pause before a bewildered “No…”

I was completely confused now, as I knew very well it was there. I went through to the hall and she was standing in the doorway looking baffled. I went in, looked behind the screen and sure enough, there it was. I handed it to her and said, “Here, see?”

She burst out laughing and said, “Ohhhhh!! It’s shower gel!!” I was a bit confused and replied, “Well yes; soap, shower gel… whatever”. She was smiling at me a bit like I was a child who’d made a comical mistake. She said, “You said soap. This is shower gel. Show-er gel.” With the last bit really slowly, like she wasn’t sure English was my first language.

I was really taken aback. Who is this bizarrely literal? Surely it’s all pretty much the same thing? I thought maybe she was looking for a bar of soap and this was what had confused her somehow, but surely when you couldn’t see it you’d think “it must be the stuff in the bottle”? And even if you didn’t, wouldn’t you just have used the shower gel anyway?

I’ve never noticed her take things so literally before. Is it me or is this just really odd?!

@SplodgePocket i think it's the way you've described it in your initial post. It definitely sounded to me that there was no dispenser at the sink and you use the one in the shower. Having read it back i can now see that there was one that was empty but it really wasn't clear on first reading. I think that's what people were finding weird 🤷‍♀️

EverythingElseIsTaken · 16/04/2025 08:59

Years ago, the person at my work responsible for sorting out the hand soap for the loos started buying shower gel from the Body Shop because she liked the scent. So many if us got horribly dry flaky hands! Shower gel and hand wash in the same scent from Molton Brown is definitely different - same scent but the product feels different (and different price but I can’t remember which is cheaper).

Even if you want to use shower gel as hand soap you should have a dispenser on the sink as well though - don’t make people have to hunt for soap.

Original poster

SplodgePocket · 16/04/2025 09:01

Even if you want to use shower gel as hand soap you should have a dispenser on the sink as well though - don’t make people have to hunt for soap.

OP posts:

threenaancurrywhore · 16/04/2025 09:03

Even if you want to use shower gel as hand soap you should have a dispenser on the sink as well though - don’t make people have to hunt for soap.
She does! She has a dispenser that ran out! That’s not the weird part! The weird part is when people do have to hunt for soap – because it’s run out, not because it’s not there – she sends them to hunt for non-existent soap instead of saying “Just use my shower gel instead”.