To find this bizarre? Friend and soap

[SplodgePocket]

A friend came around earlier as I had a half day. Before she left, she said she was just popping to the loo. I then heard her call a minute later, “Splodge? There’s no soap”.

I have a dispenser, so I assumed it had run out and called back that there was some on the side of the bath. There was a pause and she called back, “No, not here”. I knew it was there so replied, “Just against the wall, behind the shower screen”. Again, a pause before a bewildered “No…”

I was completely confused now, as I knew very well it was there. I went through to the hall and she was standing in the doorway looking baffled. I went in, looked behind the screen and sure enough, there it was. I handed it to her and said, “Here, see?”

She burst out laughing and said, “Ohhhhh!! It’s shower gel!!” I was a bit confused and replied, “Well yes; soap, shower gel… whatever”. She was smiling at me a bit like I was a child who’d made a comical mistake. She said, “You said soap. This is shower gel. Show-er gel.” With the last bit really slowly, like she wasn’t sure English was my first language.

I was really taken aback. Who is this bizarrely literal? Surely it’s all pretty much the same thing? I thought maybe she was looking for a bar of soap and this was what had confused her somehow, but surely when you couldn’t see it you’d think “it must be the stuff in the bottle”? And even if you didn’t, wouldn’t you just have used the shower gel anyway?

I’ve never noticed her take things so literally before. Is it me or is this just really odd?!

This is the bit I find a bit barmy (on the thread and with your friend, not with you, OP)

I would guess she was just in a bit of a zone and not really thinking outside of a very, very narrow box, then when you’d shown her she’d been a bit of an idiot, she was still processing or a bit defensive because, well, shower gel is basically the same as soap, duh! Sometime we lose out flexibility of mind in the oddest ways.

It actually wouldn't have occurred to me to use shower gel to wash my hands in place of an antibac hand wash, and if you told me there was soap in the shower I would have been looking for a bar of soap.

Me neither!

If I was told to look for soap then I’d be expecting to see soap. They’re similar products, but they’re not the exact same. So YABU because 5 simple words would have sorted the whole confusion - “just use the shower gel”.

I use hard soap in the shower and bath, shower gel is a waste and just washes away, without washing.
I use liquid soap to wash hands at all basins in the house 🌸

I'm with you!

This thread is batshit. 🤣

I wouldn’t use shower gel to wash my hands unless it said “hand and body wash” on the bottle which you get in hotels sometimes.

OP, my kids regularly mash the bar soap or pump all the handsoap down the drain. Often we’re using shower gel for hands in the upstairs bath or sharing one bar of soap between the sink and shower until I dispense more. If a guest asked for it I’d shout “there’s shower gel on the side of the bath, sorry” and then explain about my nuisance kids after. If I told them to look for soap in the shower I’d expect them to look for bar soap or hand soap. And I’d feel embarrassed even with someone close because it feels a bit personal rummaging in someone’s shower. And ingredients are mostly the same, but shower gel and hand soap are usually different products.

If I know someone is coming I run up and move the shower soap to the counter or pump shower gel into a handsoap thingy. You didn’t know you were out, said something a bit weird, your friend let you know you were a bit weird (also in a bit weird way). And then you started a fight with the whole internet.

Ok. Ye hardy old timers win the thread. I grew up poor in an asian country and the bar soap that was used to wash laundry was the same soap that was used for baths sometimes - it was a terrible cheap and harsh thing. It was all soap of course and I will brazenly claim that it is good enough for new borns just to win an online argument.

If there isnt shower gel, ladies, use the toilet cleaner to wash your hands, it is all soap and you are a silly ninny for falling for the marketing hype.

I use shampoo instead of shower gel if I've run out so I'm no stranger to repurposing things.

But if I expected someone else to use shower gel instead of soap, I make that clear, especially if they asked more than once, because I also understand that other people aren't me.

Good grief....13 pages of this?
Surely if the woman was that desperate to wash her hands with something other than water, she would have just grabbed anything to do it - shower gel, shampoo, bubble bath.... if they're good enough for washing your body/hair, they're good enough to wash your hands with once!

YABU. In the same way as if someone asked me to go grab spaghetti for a bolognese, but it had run out, I wouldn’t assume they wanted pasta as a replacement. Same ingredients but distinctly different in form.

YABU to expect someone to think you’re meaning shower gel. You should have said that.

And stop calling everyone else literal - it’s patronising. The votes show it’s you who’s unusual in your thinking, not your friend.

The classic.....
Was I wrong?
Yes!
No I wasn't.

I don’t understand posts like this. Mumsnet is not a democracy. I don’t have to abide by majority vote!

And stop calling everyone else literal - it’s patronising.

It’s accurate.

And to be fair the thread has been completely skewed by the ludicrous number of posters who can't read and have said things like "why don't you just buy soap. Refusing to buy handsoap is weird".

But she had no way of knowing that was the bottle you meant! You could have just as easily have been saying “It’s there!” and it had turned out not to be/fallen down into the bath toys/you’d misremembered where it was (you’d not remembered to fill your soap dispenser, not a huge leap of logic to think you weren’t clear on where your other soap was).

OP I commented earlier on in the thread and I'm shocked how many mners are the same as your friend.

The marketing peeps in the toiletries world have definitely done their job haven't they! Jesus Christ! 🤦🤣🤣

The lack of common sense out there is quite eye opening.

People generally are quite 'literal' because that's how communication works.

They ask a question (eg Where is the soap?) And receive a response (behing the shower curtain).

They re then looking for soap because that's what they asked for and what you responded to.

There's nothing inherently problematic in using shower gel if you've run out of handwash/soap but if you find yourself in a similar situation again where you've felt you've answered a question but the other person doesn't understand, rather than just repeat yourself, be more specific in your communication.

Its funny how polarised people here want this discussion to be.

I don't think there's any dispute that shower gel and liquid handsoap are basically the same (unless you buy something special), but when you're looking for "soap" to wash hands with you wouldn't be looking for shower gel.

And OP's friend used the tone she did because OP had spoken to her like she was stupid for not being able to find it.

It's perfectly possible and reasonable to wash hands with shower gel if that's what there is, it's not so reasonable to rummage through someone's toiletries looking for something to wash your hands with.

Not surprised you don't.
No one said you have to abide by anything, same as your friend doesn't have to abide by your thought process.

You're disagreeing with everyone who thinks like your friend when there's a middle ground.

You asked who was weird. Weirdness is subjective and overwhelming consensus is that you are. The all soaps are the same distraction doesnt change that.

Precisely!
I've used fairy liquid to wash my face when I'd moved, before unpacking. No issues.

However, as you say, the friend was looking for soap and being literal. Some people are, not sure why OP is shocked at people seeing things differently.

If you said it's behind the screen, I'd be looking for hand wash not shower gel. You're odd OP