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Original poster

To think that Millennials / Gen Z have sucked the joy out of weddings?

182 replies

EveryFlavourJellyBeans · 14/04/2025 20:14

Sort of inspired by a few threads I've seen on here and on Reddit. I'm a geriatric millennial and went to quite a few weddings in my childhood and 20s and I read some of the stories on here with a mixture of horror and fascination.

Elaborate hen / stag dos abroad costing guests thousands and if you can't afford to go then you don't make the wedding guest list.

Unreasonable demands for parents with babies in arms, along the lines of not even wanting the baby in the venue looked after by another so that Mum can nip out and BF etc or being offended when parents turn down invites to multi day events miles away from where they live.

Elaborate colour schemes with dress codes for guests, unflattering dresses for bridesmaids etc. Demands that bridesmaids pay for dresses they will never wear again.

Some of the nicest weddings I've been to are low key shindigs in village halls, where everyone was relaxed and happy instead of being uncomfortable, posing for endless photos for the Instagram shots.

Is it social media driven? Does everyone only care about how the wedding looks and not if guests are having a good time?

OP posts:
Crushed23 · 15/04/2025 21:14

neverbeenskiing · 15/04/2025 20:19

I LOVE a wedding, we've been to some very swanky ones and some much simpler, more relaxed ones and really enjoyed the vast majority of them. BUT the last wedding we went to was like nothing I've ever experienced before, and not in a good way! After we RSVP'd we were sent very detailed rules and instructions. Our outfits had to adhere to a particular "colour scheme" (note, this is for guests, not the wedding party!) and there was a list of things we were not to wear (such as short dresses, hats, florals or "any busy prints") as they would spoil the "aesthetic". On the day itself, in addition to the photographer there was a "content creator" whose job was literally to produce stuff for the couple to post on socials. For us guests, this meant having a phone on a stick shoved in our faces and being told to "react to" things at frequent intervals throughout the day. When the evening guests arrived I spotted someone I hadn't seen for years so I hurried over excitedly to greet them, and the "content creator" popped up out of nowhere whilst we were mid-hug saying "sorry, could you just do that again?" They were literally feeding the smallest bridemaid (who was about 3) lines to say that I assume were meant to be cute or funny. Every moment between the Bride and Groom seemed stilted and overly rehearsed. It sucked any joy or spontaneity out of the day. I felt like a prop in some weird performance piece, not a guest. I wonder whether the OP has experienced similar and this sort of thing is becoming more 'normal'. I really hope not.

Were the couple content creators themselves? The only people I know who hire social media managers / creators are in that industry themselves, or minor celebrities who want to curate a social media presence. It all sounds so exhausting. I hope you still managed to have fun!

Hoardasauruskaren · 15/04/2025 23:02

I hate the way elderly people make out that younger people give up on marriage & just don’t try hard enough to stay together. Many of them stayed in unhappy marriages because it just wasn't the done thing to get divorced. Women had few opportunities beyond marriage & babies & relied on a man to ‘keep’ them. So they were stuck with the man they fell in love with at 18 or even worse someone their parents chose!

I would hate my DC to stay in a miserable marriage for years. Divorce isn't fun but the couple can go on to lead happy lives without each other.

Rhaenys · 15/04/2025 23:40

I absolutely hate the current stag/hen culture. I’m totally against any sort of holiday or weekend away, either abroad or in this country. Then they have the usual party at home on top.

Someone I know recently had 3 hen parties, and another had a stag holiday abroad, then a stag weekend in the UK. Absolutely ridiculous!

Those are the worse examples I have, but it’s definitely the norm amongst people I know to have 2 dos now. (And 2 baby showers now as well, but that’s another story 🙄)

Tbrh · 16/04/2025 03:37

LlynTegid · 15/04/2025 20:06

Unfair to select one example of upscaling events to a ridiculous level. See also 'milestone' birthdays as another example of ridiculous expense. Proms with expensive clothing at aged 16 another one.

I doubt any analysis has been done, though it would be no surprise if those with simpler weddings have a lower divorce rate.

Or maybe they have lower divorce rates because in general they have more fun?

SheilaFentiman · 16/04/2025 06:53

Haven’t RTFT, but if someone has had a lovely “village hall” wedding, that is often because many someones (the bride and groom/their families) have worked their butts off for it, because there wasn’t a menu to pick from, an in house DJ, decorations put up by the hotel staff etc etc

Mother of the groom has worked all week making buffet food. Father of the bride has climbed a shonky step ladder to pin all the balloons and bunting. Best man had to hit the cash and carry four times for booze, or whatever.

It is not wrong to want someone outside of the wedding party and guests to take care of all that - and not everyone has family on hand to help anyway.

SenselessDrivel · 16/04/2025 07:03

I’m a millennial, I had no engagement party, no hen night, my husband planned the whole wedding and I literally gave no input whatsoever, it was all a surprise except for my main wedding dress.

I had a great day but the only thing that I’d have changed is I’d have preferred it to be childfree.

He has a huge family with many many kids and they took over the whole day, I had chocolate smeared on my dress, no one could get on the dance floor because of kids running around and the wedding favours got stolen or eaten.
Everyone just seemed to let the kids run wild assuming someone else was watching them and the noise was deafening!

I look back on it as a great day but when I watch the DVD all you can hear is kids excitedly talking, singing or shouting (you can’t hear the vows) or babies crying. The photos are full of kids no one knows 😂.

My husband’s family paid for it all or he’d have also preferred it to be childfree, I think over half our guests were under 15.

Bowies · 16/04/2025 08:03

Ha ha OP

But they are the most important people and it’s going to be better than any other hen do, stag do, wedding in history.

Who cares about the guests they are just extras to make the couple look good.

And after all it is their wedding 😉

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