To think that Millennials / Gen Z have sucked the joy out of weddings?

[EveryFlavourJellyBeans]

Sort of inspired by a few threads I've seen on here and on Reddit. I'm a geriatric millennial and went to quite a few weddings in my childhood and 20s and I read some of the stories on here with a mixture of horror and fascination.

Elaborate hen / stag dos abroad costing guests thousands and if you can't afford to go then you don't make the wedding guest list.

Unreasonable demands for parents with babies in arms, along the lines of not even wanting the baby in the venue looked after by another so that Mum can nip out and BF etc or being offended when parents turn down invites to multi day events miles away from where they live.

Elaborate colour schemes with dress codes for guests, unflattering dresses for bridesmaids etc. Demands that bridesmaids pay for dresses they will never wear again.

Some of the nicest weddings I've been to are low key shindigs in village halls, where everyone was relaxed and happy instead of being uncomfortable, posing for endless photos for the Instagram shots.

Is it social media driven? Does everyone only care about how the wedding looks and not if guests are having a good time?

Tbh, I don’t think that’s fair - the point of this thread is that people have too high expectations of their guests. I love a wedding, dancing and having a good time - I just don’t want it to break the bank!!

Geordies 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m Gen X and we were complaining about all this stuff 25 years ago. It’s not a Millennial/Gen Z thing.

I don’t think having to cater for a family members wedding or wearing one of those awful 80s bridesmaids dresses would have been much fun. And I’m happy that women can take time away from their families to celebrate friendship and go abroad to have fun. Sometimes it goes wrong and people post on here but they were probably writing to agony aunts in the 80s and 90s.

“Perfect” weddings sounds very dull. It’s the unexpected stuff that ends up being memorable. The most stuck up weddings I’ve been to have ended in divorce. The fun party in a barn with kids skidding on their knees across the dance floor are by far the best.

I’ve been to expensive and cheap weddings and both have been great. Generally I find the people who attend and how many people you know/like affects how good a time you have. I like seeing kids at wedding but understand why some people don’t have them. Not everyone has willing babysitters for long days/overnights.

if you can afford it then why not, yes not go all bridezilla but at the same time why chop the balls of the wedding just to make it low key event , afterall it is a wedding and as long as the finances can be covered then why not have a big wedding ?

I'm a millennial and I've not been invited to a week long hen do abroad/ multi day wedding with dress codes, fallings out, Instagram hashtags etc... Is this less of a millennial trend and more geographical?

1. I think social media/ influence from weddings in the US where cultural norms are different has had an impact.

2. I think we often only hear of the most extreme examples on MN. I have been to plenty Millennial weddings that have been totally normal, fun, and include kids. Not been to a Gen Z wedding yet, but my middle SIL is right at the Millennial cut off born in 1997 -- and her wedding was fun, no elaborate colour schemes, and babies and young kids welcome. Went to a friend's wedding last summer (early 30s couple) and again - fun wedding, kids welcome, nice colour scheme but no demands of guests, lawn games, disco etc.

Older gen z here who just wants to know how any of us can afford to get married! 😂

Millennial who had a hen do abroad 👋🏻

It was completely no pressure to attend and my friends chose the destination. We went somewhere quite cheap. It was absolutely feral but hilariously fun

My children are millennials and their weddings were nothing like you’ve described above, and were utterly wonderful.

Marry a man from Eastern Europe in his hometown. I think it’s probably halved the cost!

Depends on how many guests, how fancy you want, and where in the UK. You can get a full on proper wedding (sit down meal, entertainment etc ) for c.60 in a pretty venue in south Wales all in for £8k (at least last summer!). More guests, more money. And more expensive venues or venues that only do weddings the price goes up. London, Edinburgh etc. can be very pricey.

Most of the weddings I've been to are family children ONLY. Which due to the amount they cost to cater for is fine.

The funniest invite I have though is from a relative who has asked us all to dress up on our invite. (They are in their 30s)

I have NEVER been to an all day wedding do where people don't dress up. The only handful of times I have been explicitly told not to is when a large group of us have attended the evening do as acquaintances.

It's not a millennial or Gen Z thing. The matching colours, obsessing over favours, big flouncy dresses, chivari chairs, huge wedding registries, bachelorette parties etc etc peaked in the late 00's and early '10s. They were far more likely to be Gen Xers or for the latest, the eldest millennials.

Younger millennials don't seem to care about weddings. I literally got married in a park with 2 witnesses, my friend had 10 guests due to COVID and none of my other friends are married yet or care to have a big shindig. Everyone seems to be into the low-key micro wedding vibe, with nice photos and a lovely honeymoon being the biggest expenses.

Gen Zs seem to care even less.

Absolutely agree and I am a millennial.

When I got married 8 years ago we had a party in our garden afterwards (this is a bit fancier than it sounds as the garden was big enough for several gazebos, and did hire a DJ and bartender not a Spotify playlist and BYOB) but it was still definitely more village hall vibe.

The problem IMO is the photos. I didn't have a photographer, people took plenty themselves.

Most weddings I have been to have felt less like a party and more like being an extra in a large photoshoot. Everywhere you look some prat in a suit is bobbing around snapping photos of you and shouting at GROUP B TO COME TO THE FRONT PLEASE! There's little consideration for the guests, you end up feeling like a prop. Lots of the stuff at the wedding feels as though it's staged for photos rather than to enjoy/interact with - for example a photo wall being a 'feature' of the wedding where everyone has a photo taken, rather than spending money on, for example, outdoor games for the party, a first round at the bar for everyone.

Furthermore, a lot of the guest expense is for the sake of photos too. Use the same dress you wore to the last wedding? Nope, there's a colour palette on the invite. Night out for the hen do? Nope, shell out for a trip to Ibiza - by the way you'll need a black bikini, the brides wearing white and we'll have a snap by the pool wearing them all. Etc. etc. I dread getting an invite these days as so few weddings are FUN any more!

I’m with you, although I’m an elderly millennial too (born 1981) and got married in 2009, our wedding was such a lovely day and everyone had a great time. We did invite children and wouldn’t have dreamt of imposing a colour scheme on the guests!
I think the rot set in about 5 years after we got married, although I have been to some nice weddings since then so it’s not everyone

You must have been to some unpleasant weddings.

You must’ve misunderstood my post since I was talking about the posters on this thread

Young millenial here.

Babies/children were welcome. Intimate dinner for my hen do. Bridesmaids chose their dresses. Nothing on social media.

Don't tar everyone with the same brush. I've been to loads of lovely, laid back weddings.

DS, b94, got married a couple of years ago. It was all very easy. There were no favors, no colour themes, no overseas hens/stags, etc.

They swerved the wedding industry and had a marriage instead, followed by a nice party.

I actually think is the social group(s) you know.

I was so amused by my relatives wedding invite.

As no-one I know whether they are a baby boomer, Gen Xer or other millennial has every made such a request about dress code as it's expected.

Yes I have had friends get married abroad but it's for family reasons - either to escape them or because they live abroad. They are fully aware that some people can't afford to come and some people will sofa-surf to come.

I'm going to an influencers wedding in August.
I'm actually so excited to see what it's going to be like.

Even if I misunderstood, I don't see what evidence you have that posters on this thread would behave like that.