To think that Millennials / Gen Z have sucked the joy out of weddings?

[EveryFlavourJellyBeans]

Sort of inspired by a few threads I've seen on here and on Reddit. I'm a geriatric millennial and went to quite a few weddings in my childhood and 20s and I read some of the stories on here with a mixture of horror and fascination.

Elaborate hen / stag dos abroad costing guests thousands and if you can't afford to go then you don't make the wedding guest list.

Unreasonable demands for parents with babies in arms, along the lines of not even wanting the baby in the venue looked after by another so that Mum can nip out and BF etc or being offended when parents turn down invites to multi day events miles away from where they live.

Elaborate colour schemes with dress codes for guests, unflattering dresses for bridesmaids etc. Demands that bridesmaids pay for dresses they will never wear again.

Some of the nicest weddings I've been to are low key shindigs in village halls, where everyone was relaxed and happy instead of being uncomfortable, posing for endless photos for the Instagram shots.

Is it social media driven? Does everyone only care about how the wedding looks and not if guests are having a good time?

As a late gen X, I agree. Definitely think social media has driven a lot of it, especially dress code for guests, matching dressing gowns for the bridesmaids getting ready etc.

I think some of it is less money around so people have smaller weddings and can't afford to invite children as well. In the past people mostly stayed in a lock community and it was a community event.

Peach Little Bo Peep is the one that sticks in the memory.

It does seem to be getting ridiculous. When we do it, hopefully later this year, we'll have a private ceremony in the week and then a party at the weekend with food, drink, music, and NO expectation to buy a present or an expensive outfit!

👋👋 Gen X here ( if it makes a difference )

Very Well said Jelly Bean

About time someone did.

I think where you are going wrong here is thinking two whole generations have ruined weddings by something you’ve read on the internet.1. You don’t know if they are true, l’m looking at you reddit. And you know how big the whole world is right?

Also please stop generation bashing. It’s getting pathetic now

this, and all the other posters saying that it's not specifically a generational thing, just a 'certain people,' thing.

Sounds like you haven't been to or have any first hand experience of any of these apparently horrific, ott weddings yourself, just heard about them second/third hand. How many people are going to bother creating a post about 'I went to a really nice, low-key wedding today where everything went perfectly and there wasn't any drama?'

Presumably given you seem to believe everything you read on MN is gospel truth and extrapolated to 100% of the population all men are bastards, everyone hates their mothers in law, nobody owns a toilet brush and £100k is a low wage?

There have always been bridezillas and very expensive weddings.

It’s social media. Have a few young ones at work and it’s mindbending. One had manicures/nails done twice a week for a year so the social media photos of ring on finger would look good when the boyfriend got around to proposing. Another had their hair done professionally every weekend day when an outing was arranged with boyfriend in case he proposed for the social media photos. I couldn’t care less, it was their time and money, my mind was just blown anyone would bother with all that.

Best wedding I’ve been to is laid on the floor doing ooo upside your head and knocking your veneer on the person in fronts head

The last wedding I went to like this was for millennials. Enough to put you off for life.

Not everyone finds joy in the same type of wedding, and I don’t see a problem with that. I’m happy for people having the wedding they want, regardless of what that looks like.

A small, more casual wedding isn’t superior to a big ‘flashy’ one. I say this as someone who did have a small casual wedding. The sneering and competitive frugality (‘I recycled a bin bag for my wedding dress!’) that always comes up in these threads is weird tbh.

Tbh it seems its MN people who are miserable and hate attending a wedding, and I assume the majority of them aren't Millennials. I think the MN idea of a great wedding, is one where it's in a hall 10 minutes from your house, where you don't dress up, don't have to speak to anyone, surrounded kids and go home by 8pm. Basically zero effort, and not what most people would categorise as fun. God forbid having a party for adults, where people enjoy themselves. Let alone what the bride and groom wants. I also have no idea why people keep on going on about how weddings are all for the 'gram, I haven't noticed this at all and suspect most of these people don't have friends in RL.

Gen X and never been married. Neither have any of my friends. So, been to very few weddings. As a feminist, the whole concept of them (bride being given away from one family to another) was highly off-putting.

What I’m surprised about is what a come back they’ve made. And how much money people spend on what’s basically a party. Gen X put on parties for free.

I guess what happened was marketing and rampant capitalism. Millennials got peak marketing as kids in 1980/90s. So, indoctrinated from a young age to spend their hard-earned cash. The Sunny Delight generation.

Gen Z generally seem to be more aware. Not just of marketing, but of challenging social norms and environmental damage, though I guess some buy into the trad wife nonsense.

It’s not one or the other, zero need to try and suggest you have a marriage “instead” of a wedding.

I think you're reading to much into it. We had a wedding followed by a reception with lots of food and booze, it was a good excuse for a party. Everyone had a great time. Will probably be the only one we will have when we can dress up and spend an extravagant amount on money on having a good time. I'm tempted to do something for my next milestone birthday but I'm not sure it will be the same as we are old now, some have kids and can't stay up very late without falling asleep! Looking back we spent alot, but have zero regrets! If anything I wish I had invited more people.

Oh I think there's a huge difference. A marriage emphasises the legal binding of two people and needs no adornment. A wedding, hence the industry that has sprung up, emphasises the bling over and above the solemnity of the occasion. The bling comes with price tags chosen from a menu.

Well a marriage the outcome. A wedding is a ceremony, sometimes followed by a celebration of sorts and I'm not sure why so many people resent how people choose to do this.

What really deserves the spotlight is the ridiculous lengths people go to for kids birthday parties. Can someone please start a thread on that 😁

No, the marriage is the ceremonial part and can happen alone. The wedding is everything else and marks or celebrates the marriage.

People resent how some chose to do it because the emphasis has shifted from the marriage, the point of the occasion, to the materialism of it.

But why do you care? Surely it's the bride and grooms choice? It's just weird how much so many on here seem to care so much about what other people choose to do. I don't think anything has shifted, people have always had parties to celebrate if they could afford it

The next generation down the GenZ’s I know couldn’t give a shiny shit about weddings and most of them according to my very small survey won’t bother!

but I agree OP as per my username, I liked the laid back cheapness of our wedding years.

No one said they aren’t different, but it’s not an either/or choice.

You don’t pick a wedding “instead” of a marriage because you want a party to celebrate.

As a clearly geriatric gen X (seeing as millennials are now ‘old’ 😂) I actually think the OTT social-media driven nature of them is part of the spectacle. Us oldies can laugh and gossip about the hen-do fall outs, the endless picture taking that nobody ever looks at after the wedding, the matchy matchy naffness, the puritanical hand maid’s tale bridesmaid dresses (because of the ‘history’ between the groom and the MOH) and the fact that bride chose a stripper dress and yet wore her hair slicked back so severely she looked bald in all the photos.

Gen X were born between 1965-80. Do we really think there were no big flashy weddings between the late 80s and well into the 00s? Let’s not re-write history.

Millennials also aren’t an homogenous mass. I’ve attended so many weddings of friends and cousins and they’ve all been different - castles, country manors, hotels, RO then a nice restaurant, RO then pub, a festival style wedding in the middle of a field, and a pagan ceremony followed by a bbq to name a few. Not to mention those who eloped, either abroad or to Gretna. And quite honestly l’d take any of these over a village hall.