I hate having two kids

[itwouldbefineif]

Hate it. Hate it. All of my friends were one and done and I sort of wish I’d done the same. Except then I wouldn’t have one of them. It would be fine if I was a SAHM and I only had one at a time but I can’t do that.

Funnily enough I’ve been thinking about this over Easter holidays. My two fight and bicker constantly, it’s exhausting. One of them competes with the other and they just won’t stop winding each other up. Nothing is more irresistible to them than pissing the other one off.

I can’t stop thinking that if I had just one, I’d have so much more time and mental energy to spend with them. And if there were more children then they’d stick together a bit more, and would have got used to not having all the attention. Probably just the grass being greener though. My sympathies, OP.

Look she says she hasn't posted before but sounds a lot like a poster who has posted this same thing about 3 times (not the issue) Issue is any helpful replies she argues with . A few pps below even said she's defeatist and argumentative. Why post if not willing to take some things on board. Everything is an issue, if you tell her get someone to have the kids, she says she has nobody. Ask e
why not hire a babysitter , she doesn't reply to that soit's completely ruled out. Children are hard work I know , I have 4!! But you adapt around them not vice versa.

Interestingly there is two & a half years between my 2 children. We lived beside 2 sets of Grandparents who were there at the drop of a hat when required. I'm sorry to say OP this is the difference. It's not surprising mums in your situation can become overwhelmed. I worked 2 days a week while they were growing up & would do it all again. I loved every stage despite being exhausted at times but so are people without children who work full time. If you could go back in time would you have chosen a child free life? I'm sure if you asked the vast majority of parents they would say no. It's natural to vent though when having a bad day.

How many people do you think struggle with children those ages? It's very common. It's offputting for someone who's plucked up the courage to write a first post and then be accused of having posted the same thing before. So what if they did?

I know you adapt around them and that's what I said. I have three! I had the good sense to quit while I was ahead! 😁

@Twinkletoes10 4 children,that's wonderful. I'm sure there is never a dull moment in your family home 😂

Mine argued and fought from the eldest being 5 and younger one 2. It didn't stop until eldest moved 300 miles away. So bloody draining

Strangely enough DD1 has 13 years between her 2 and DD2 has 7 years. Maybe they didn't want to risk having to put up with constant squabbling between their own kids lol

Well good for you then ! 👏 Some of us can obviously just cope better!

It was a joke! Three was my limit! Both in capacity and in relation to the cost of childcare, plus I was 40 with a history of miscarriage.

That's why I used a laughing emoji!! Obviously you can! I take my hat off to you.

You will. Try and give in to it. Your free time is when they go to bed. Other than that you will only get the very odd day off. Just make your peace with that and try and enjoy them

It sounds like you’re completely overwhelmed by the demands of raising your two babies. Try to make time for yourself to relax more. Your children just need to know you are there, try to relax around them, ie you rest whilst they play. Nothing quite prepares you for how exhausting it is juggling home and children, if you need to work it’s even more pressure. Take time out each day just for yourself, 20mins - 1 hr put a ‘Do not disturb’ sign on your bedroom door and r.e.l.a.x
listen to a free Utube meditation. This is no one’s fault least of all your beautiful children. I’m sure you’re a good mum. My daughter cut me out of her life 8 years ago after a falling out and I haven’t had contact with her since despite trying my best to. I miss her so much. Your children will grow up very quickly and when they leave and have families of their own, you may wish you could see more of them, but they might be too busy. Regret is a terrible thing. Just live for today, do what you love to do each day and be happy, then watch the magic happen in your life.

OP are you working? Do you utilise the free nursery hours?
You seem to be putting barriers in place to everything that people are suggesting that may help you.
You need to get out and about with them, burn off energy. They will be bored if they're stuck at home all the time.

If they ever get on

Ah so sorry to hear that 0h45whisper, I really hope that one day you'll have her back in your life 💐😞

It starts to get easier at 6 and 4, 7 and 5 has moments of being a dream in comparison to those toddler days!!

@OH45whisper That's so sad OH. You don't have to share although there may be posters who could help with a few suggestions if you added the reason for falling out. Perhaps start a new thread.

Yep, you're still in the thick of it. Been there, done that. But it should be getting easier month by month from here on out.

They'll soon be able to play in the other room for an hour or two, grab themselves a snack, take a bath and generally stop needing such close and constant supervision and attention.

You'll soon be surprised to find yourself getting to watch a whole movie in peace now and then, do your nails, have a whole phone conversation, sit back and finish a whole meal, uninterrupted.

Just hold on a little while longer, dear. You're getting there! :)

HANG ON IN THERE OP.

The "reward" for having 2 don't show themselves til the youngest is at least 3, usually nearer 4, and by 5 you're so bloody glad they have a playmate you wipe your memory of the godawful trench years.

I promise it does get better. Those single kids get more bored as they get older, they need entertainment constantly, whereas you can be all smug when your two play together.

Toddler years are tough. I had 4 and just took the early years on the chin. Much more enjoyable from school age.

"He'll be out of the house and driving in just a few short years" - he's only 9! 😂😂😂

TBH I was willing to give benefit of the doubt and presume it’s a new poster.

but the info is the same, the tone of voice is the same but most tellingly the complete disregard for any advice and the barriers to any solutions is the same. The moaning, the martyrdom, the acting like none of us replying have ever had children or have children.

Why are your children screaming crying and shouting? All children do occasionally but if this is daily something is going wrong and that's what you need to address rather than comparing with one child.

What are the catalysts to their behaviour? Tackle the cause.

Once you have one at school easier. I have 4.

I had my first 2 kids 2 year apart. Was bloody hard at times and felt like walking out the door and not coming back a lot, especially when I brought them up on my own. Theyr now 2 lovely adults with good lives and kids of their own. I had quite a large age gap with my last who tells me they feel like an only child and would often ask for a brother or sister when they were young. Too late for that now but I think it would’ve been nice for them to have a sibling closer to their age.
Being a parent is probably the hardest job in the world but your kids wont always be the age they are now. Before you know it you’l have 2 teenagers and that can come with its challenges too so enjoy them while they’re still young . You’l get double the rewards

Can your children not entertain themselves without always needing someone else there to entertain them? That’s quite a life skill they’re missing out on.

Parents of siblings who say it’s easier “because they entertain each other” are kidding themselves. We spend time at home and sometimes my son plays by himself happily and sometimes we play with him. We go out and he socialises with other children. Ridiculous to say that the small amount of extra time I spend playing with my only child is more effort than raising an entire second child 😂

Jeez, I feel like I can't be the voice of doom now 🙈.

DS was 20 months old when DD was born.
They've always fought, and it's been a bit of a nightmare 😂.

They're 17 and 16 now, still squabbling - but we've survived 🤷‍♀️.