Page 8 | Crashed a wedding brunch with son. Evicted by Sister-in-law

Weddingbrunchcrasher · 2025-04-14T13:05:57+00:00

Partner’s sister got married on Saturday. Partner asked if my 8 year old could come but was told no. She only wanted her other brother’s daughter as a bridesmaid. Her other brother’s three stepchildren were not invited, the youngest of whom is thirteen. I then asked her directly if I could bring him in the evening, she said that she wasn’t having an evening do but the invitation clearly went into the evening, what she said was she meant a separate evening do. No extra guests were coming in the evening. Ex wasn’t available to look after son but he had a sleepover with a friend but they were heading off at 9:00 in the morning so I had to leave hotel to collect my son. Partner didn’t have a separate car and it didn’t occur to me that it would be a problem to head back to hotel with my son for the brunch they had arranged. Again just did not occur to me that it would be a problem. So we arrive and queue to get into breakfast area where I assumed brunch was but it was in a separate room and only my name was down they refused to allow my son in. I refused to leave him to go into brunch to ask if he could come in. Partner had left phone so finally the brunch spilled out to the lawn and we joined them. We were both starving so I went to get plates. His sister came over to my son and essentially asked him to leave, sort of gently by asking him to go out on lawn with my partner. Partner left with us and we had breakfast in the pubic bit. I actually started to cry over breakfast, then my son did. I am ashamed of myself for this. I get I was unreasonable over wedding but the Brunch surely I wasn’t. Did I make too many assumptions? Bride and groom have met my son. We have lived together for a year. Partner is a bit shocked but obviously it was their actual wedding.

HollyBerryz · 14/04/2025 15:05

Codlingmoths · 14/04/2025 14:17

Is ‘the brunch’ just the breakfast after because guests stayed over, or does it mean a formal wedding event? If it’s just breakfast at the hotel put on for guests bride is being pretty ott.

Not really as OP was expecting her child to eat there which will not have been paid for by anyone. I imagine the hotel would be rather miffed too.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 14/04/2025 15:06

Surely this is a reverse.

Wishboneswishes · 14/04/2025 15:06

Oh dear OP.

Lots of things didn’t occur to you here. YABVU.

You may have invited all the kids if it was your wedding but it wasn’t your wedding and all the step kids were not invited.

SIL is not wrong because she did things differently to you.

I can’t believe you had the brass neck to turn up with your son expecting him to be fed!

Hotandbothered222 · 14/04/2025 15:06

You thought you could score your son a freebie breakfast?? You’re nuts OP, you can’t just turn up to a (presumably posh) hotel and eat for free!

Middleofthetown · 14/04/2025 15:06

AestheticallyChallenged · 14/04/2025 14:56

It was thoughtless and rude of the bride and groom to have a family wedding but exclude the step children. Perhaps they did this due to financial reasons though? I would have been inclined not to go to the wedding at all personally, if my child was not welcome but others were. Blended families are the norm nowadays and if you are having a family wedding you should be prepared to cope with modern family dynamics. Or not have a family wedding. If you hold a party for guests ( which is what a wedding is), you need to remember your duties as hosts. No the day is not all about the bride and groom. If you want a day that is all about you just elope or have a small gathering of a few friends. Don't inflict some boring, tedious occasion on your guests and expect them to jump through hoops just for the privilege of looking at you colour schemes. My wedding guests told me my wedding was the most enjoyable they had been to. That was because my husband and I took a huge amount of care to make sure our guests would be comfortable, well-fed and entertained (and everyone included). So our wedding was fondly remembered by all, whereas other weddings I have been to were thought by a lot of guests to be tedious. In my opinion children make a wedding. They have so much enthusiasm for the proceedings and help the other guests to break the ice, so I wouldn't exclude them.

Everyone always tells the bride that her wedding is the most enjoyable they’ve ever been to. They’re hardly going to say ‘it was ok but we preferred Cheryl and Mike’s’ are they?

‘Other weddings we have been to were thought by a lot of guests to be tedious’ - were they now, Mrs Bennet? How terribly rude of those guests.

outerspacepotato · 14/04/2025 15:09

What part of no do you not understand?

BunnyLake · 14/04/2025 15:10

AestheticallyChallenged · 14/04/2025 14:56

It was thoughtless and rude of the bride and groom to have a family wedding but exclude the step children. Perhaps they did this due to financial reasons though? I would have been inclined not to go to the wedding at all personally, if my child was not welcome but others were. Blended families are the norm nowadays and if you are having a family wedding you should be prepared to cope with modern family dynamics. Or not have a family wedding. If you hold a party for guests ( which is what a wedding is), you need to remember your duties as hosts. No the day is not all about the bride and groom. If you want a day that is all about you just elope or have a small gathering of a few friends. Don't inflict some boring, tedious occasion on your guests and expect them to jump through hoops just for the privilege of looking at you colour schemes. My wedding guests told me my wedding was the most enjoyable they had been to. That was because my husband and I took a huge amount of care to make sure our guests would be comfortable, well-fed and entertained (and everyone included). So our wedding was fondly remembered by all, whereas other weddings I have been to were thought by a lot of guests to be tedious. In my opinion children make a wedding. They have so much enthusiasm for the proceedings and help the other guests to break the ice, so I wouldn't exclude them.

I love this and resonates with my personality. I can’t imagine any scenario where I’d be standing in front of a child and tell them they're not welcome and to leave (unless there’s a back story and child is spawn of the devil). That’s not the way I think. Yes OP shouldn't have disregarded the bride's wishes but I wouldn’t be at any wedding my children weren’t welcome at.

CautiousLurker01 · 14/04/2025 15:11

Hoping this is a reverse… because NO ONE can sure think it’s okay to crash a wedding breakfast when they’ve been repeatedly told no.

Foodonashoestring · 14/04/2025 15:11

I suspect your boyfriend is keeping quite because he's thinking about if you are the right person for him.

Your poor son being put in that embarrassing situation.

It sounds like you constantly pushed the boundaries of the bride by frequently asking even though she kept telling you no. That's the reason she snapped at the brunch and frog marched you both out.

Your boyfriends family will definitely have your card marked now op and will be saying all sorts about you to him... all in the direction of leave her.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/04/2025 15:11

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 14/04/2025 15:06

Surely this is a reverse.

I assumed that too. Too one-sided, surely.

EilishMcCandlish · 14/04/2025 15:12

Weddingbrunchcrasher · 14/04/2025 14:19

OK this is clear that I was out of order but I genuinely did think the brunch would be a problem.

I wasn’t crying for sympathy. I cried because I was shocked.

My partner is on my side but won’t say anything.

You cried because you embarrassed yourself and your son. No one likes to feel a fool, only one person was responsible for that. You thought you would get away with it and didn't. Your 'shock' was caused by being stopped in the tracks of your own entitlement.

Your boyfriend won't say anything because he knows you were in the wrong but doesn't want to embarrass you further by telling you. If he was really on your side, he would speak up.

Good on the bride for holding her boundary here after already telling you twice that your son was not invited.

Ponderingwindow · 14/04/2025 15:12

Your child was hungry and instead of taking him to get breakfast, you hung around waiting for an opportunity to enter an event uninvited. That is not just rude, it’s bizarre.

Pick the kid up from the sleepover and go out for breakfast together. Make a nice morning of it. Then swing by and pick up your boyfriend.

murasaki · 14/04/2025 15:13

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/04/2025 15:11

I assumed that too. Too one-sided, surely.

Show quote history

I wondered, but these entitled folk do walk amongst us.

OldCottageGreenhouse · 14/04/2025 15:13

Newbutoldfather · 14/04/2025 14:10

‘May I bring my son?’

“No”

“Don’t worry I’ll bring him anyway and make a scene if you don’t let him in”.

Everyone thinks their own children are special cases. Newsflash: they aren’t.

You’ve intentionally pretended to miss the part where OP only took her son there THE NEXT DAY

latetothefisting · 14/04/2025 15:13

Doodlessmoodles · 14/04/2025 14:52

I think in the real world your sister in law needs a sense of humour and to pull her head out of her backside 😄 I’d laugh at this sort of thing but clearly they’re very prim and proper, maybe find a new not so stuck up family to spend your time with………. And tell him to make his own way home next time seen as you’re only invited by default……..

do you think the 95% of people on here who have said the OP was being unreasonable are computer avatars or something and don't actually exist in the 'real world?'

And what on earth does "seen (seeing?) as you’re only invited by default" mean? She was invited as the bride's brother's partner - if she wasn't dating him she wouldn't even know any of them or that there was a wedding happening at all, so of course she wouldn't be invited in her own right! what a weird comment.

Crackanut · 14/04/2025 15:14

stayathomer · 14/04/2025 14:59

It was all a bit ridiculous op, and not great for your son (though to be fair your sil didn’t handle it great by trying to march him out!) and ywbu and overreacted, but the replies on this thread are something else- people really sticking the knife in, and so angry over something that had nothing to do with them!!

I cannot for the life of me imagine being so irate at a child getting a bit of free breakfast. Holy smokes who cares?

murasaki · 14/04/2025 15:14

OldCottageGreenhouse · 14/04/2025 15:13

You’ve intentionally pretended to miss the part where OP only took her son there THE NEXT DAY

Show quote history

To a PRIVATE brunch.

BunnyLake · 14/04/2025 15:15

Ponderingwindow · 14/04/2025 15:12

Your child was hungry and instead of taking him to get breakfast, you hung around waiting for an opportunity to enter an event uninvited. That is not just rude, it’s bizarre.

Pick the kid up from the sleepover and go out for breakfast together. Make a nice morning of it. Then swing by and pick up your boyfriend.

This would have been the most logical thing to do and the kindest for your son. I hate to see a child humiliated or upset so it was unfair of you to put them through that. Personally I wouldn’t have gone to the wedding at all if they didn’t want my son there.

Wishboneswishes · 14/04/2025 15:15

AestheticallyChallenged · 14/04/2025 14:56

It was thoughtless and rude of the bride and groom to have a family wedding but exclude the step children. Perhaps they did this due to financial reasons though? I would have been inclined not to go to the wedding at all personally, if my child was not welcome but others were. Blended families are the norm nowadays and if you are having a family wedding you should be prepared to cope with modern family dynamics. Or not have a family wedding. If you hold a party for guests ( which is what a wedding is), you need to remember your duties as hosts. No the day is not all about the bride and groom. If you want a day that is all about you just elope or have a small gathering of a few friends. Don't inflict some boring, tedious occasion on your guests and expect them to jump through hoops just for the privilege of looking at you colour schemes. My wedding guests told me my wedding was the most enjoyable they had been to. That was because my husband and I took a huge amount of care to make sure our guests would be comfortable, well-fed and entertained (and everyone included). So our wedding was fondly remembered by all, whereas other weddings I have been to were thought by a lot of guests to be tedious. In my opinion children make a wedding. They have so much enthusiasm for the proceedings and help the other guests to break the ice, so I wouldn't exclude them.

In your opinion kids make a wedding.

Other opinions will differ.

It is not rude to not invite all the kids in the wider/blended family. Who could afford that and you may hardly know some of them.

And weddings ARE all about the bride and groom (in my opinion) 😂

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 14/04/2025 15:15

Weddingbrunchcrasher · 14/04/2025 14:31

OK I accept now that is in black and white that I was out of order to bring an uninvited guest to a private catered event but it literally never occurred to me that it would be a problem. It was a buffet type breakfast thing with loads of food.

It was the morning after the wedding and children were invited just not her brothers’ partners’ kids.

There is no way on earth I would treat my sibling’s partner’s children like this.

We only had one car. I needed to collect my partner.

I completely accept I was wrong but here are a bunch of reasons I still don't think I was wrong.

Blackdow · 14/04/2025 15:16

OldCottageGreenhouse · 14/04/2025 15:13

You’ve intentionally pretended to miss the part where OP only took her son there THE NEXT DAY

Show quote history

To a private, invite only and catered per head event.
He wasn’t invited. It doesn’t matter at all that it was the next day. It was a private invite only event in a private room.

Flossflower · 14/04/2025 15:16

CautiousLurker01 · 14/04/2025 15:11

Hoping this is a reverse… because NO ONE can sure think it’s okay to crash a wedding breakfast when they’ve been repeatedly told no.

It wasn’t a wedding breakfast. It was brunch at the hotel the day after. There were extra children there. I far as I can see, it isn’t clear if this is a private event that the Bride and Groom have paid for or just or just a general brunch for all the hotels guests the cost of which was included with the hotel room.

OldCottageGreenhouse · 14/04/2025 15:16

Upsidedownsides · 14/04/2025 14:10

You were told countless times it’s a child free wedding. I’d be livid if I was your SIL and you made a scene at my wedding like that.

How exactly did op “make a scene!?!” The bride made a scene by throwing a tantrum and ordering an innocent 8yr d little boy to leave her wedding.

OP ignore the pile on. It’s the Easter holidays so lots of mums are stuck at home and gasping for a MN pile on. I also think a lot of people have misunderstood that it was the next day that you brought your son there, NOT on the wedding day. Speaks volumes for today’s average reading comprehension

BitterTits · 14/04/2025 15:16

I think, given it was the day after the wedding, that this was mean-spirited. It's not as if the uninvited child was there on the day. The only thing you could really do is all leave.

stopthatrightnow · 14/04/2025 15:17

I’m so pleased to hear that the bride stood up to this cheeky fucker behaviour. Good on her. It’s not like this is even the bride’s or groom’s nephew.