Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

To refuse to take responsibility for DP's dog walk before work

128 replies

italianprincess · 13/04/2025 21:30

DP has just got a new job which has fixed hours. She has to be at work for 9am Monday - Friday. It is a 20-25 minute drive to her new job. In her previous job she had a lot more flexibility, worked from home and could pretty much choose the hours she worked.
I have always had a job where I have to be in the office by 10am at the latest but I prefer getting in for 9am so that I can finish at 5pm rather than 6pm. Most people in my office arrive between 8 and 8.30am but I'm rarely there that early. It takes me an hour to get to work (40 minute drive and then 20 minute walk from the car park).
Until now DP and I have had an agreement where she walks the dog first thing in the morning Monday-Thursday and I do Friday-Sunday. The Friday has worked for me because I often work from home on a Friday and then I'm off work on Sat and Sunday.
DP has now said that she will be unable to walk the dog in the mornings due to starting her new job. She doesn't start her job officially for a couple of weeks but she is going into work tomorrow for a training course which starts at 9.15am. She has asked me if I can walk the dog in the morning, but I've said no. I don't want to set a precedent where she expects me to walk the dog every morning of the week just because she now has to work from 9am, which I've had to do the whole time. Her response to my refusal was 'well I don't know how he's going to get walked then because I have to be at work for 9.15am'. She has 40 minutes less of a commute than I do and people all over the world manage to walk their dog before starting work in the morning.
AIBU?

OP posts:

Budgetquery · 13/04/2025 21:32

What can she not get up earlier?

Dumpedonmotheraday · 13/04/2025 21:32

You two are meant to be a team. Work off that basis.

Wakemeupbe4yougogo · 13/04/2025 21:33

I'm up at 6.30am to walk my dogs for an hour before I start to even think about going to work.

Runningoutofthyme · 13/04/2025 21:33

they get up earlier to walk the dog surely?
it’s not like they are starting super early?

JackieDaytonaLuckyBrews · 13/04/2025 21:35

Seems ridiculous to me, but hire a dog walker if it's that much of a big deal.

Buzzer3555 · 13/04/2025 21:35

No you are not being unreasonable. She took it for granted and should have spoken to you first. I would suggest she books a dog walker

DorothyStorm · 13/04/2025 21:36

What the actual fuck? Neither of you work long hours or have early starts. She could absolutely walk the dog. Bone idle. It is also no great sacrifice for you to do it on Fridays and weekends.

TwentyTwentyFive · 13/04/2025 21:38

We have a routine for walking out dog too and I'd pretty pissed if my other half took a new job and just assumed I would then walk the dog every morning. I think you're right to not want to set a precedent that you'll walk the dog every day of the week.

I really don't understand why she can't get up earlier and walk the dog on those 4 days before going to work like almost every other dog owner does?

BeeCucumber · 13/04/2025 21:38

First post nails it.

Overthebow · 13/04/2025 21:38

Why can’t she get up earlier to walk the dog? 9.15 isn’t exactly an early work start. Who is looking after the dog whilst she’s at work?

Whaleandsnail6 · 13/04/2025 21:40

No you are not unreasonable.

You both go to work for 9am and you have the longer commute therefore she should do the morning walk.

she will just have to get up early to do the walk, like you do on a Friday and weekend

KnewYearKnewMe · 13/04/2025 21:40

obviously someone gets up at 6.30 and walks the dog earlier - it’s what millions of people do.

Aside from this - Who is going to look after the poor dog whilst you’re both a walk all day?

Wexone · 13/04/2025 21:41

you two live together right ? work as team..if you are living together I would say the dog is both your responsibility. it's basically like a child. sit down discuss it like adults. if a rota or something can't be done then you need to employ a dogbwalker or drop it off at doggy daycare. stop this tit for tat and grow up. things change as life goes on you need ti be on same page for things like this and work together

Original poster

italianprincess · 13/04/2025 21:41

DP's job is part time so she won't be away for 8 hours like I am so dog won't be on his own all day.

OP posts:

2dogsandabudgie · 13/04/2025 21:42

The poor dog. You both sound immature. You need to discuss this and come up with a solution. I don't know why people bother getting a dog if they work long hours and the dog is left on it's own.

BaronessBomburst · 13/04/2025 21:42

She needs to get up earlier. There's nothing else to it.

nobodywantsit · 13/04/2025 21:43

Now you both have a 9am start then I think it’s fair that it’s split between you but she can’t expect you’ll do every day.
Can she do a weekend morning and you do another morning or two in the week?

2dogsandabudgie · 13/04/2025 21:44

italianprincess · 13/04/2025 21:41

DP's job is part time so she won't be away for 8 hours like I am so dog won't be on his own all day.

The dog still needs to be walked first thing though.

Bestfadeplans · 13/04/2025 21:44

Do you work Monday to Friday? Id already be pissed off st this point, if I was always having to walk the dog on my 2 days off.

TwentyTwentyFive · 13/04/2025 21:44

I honestly cannot believe people are suggesting a dog walker when she will have ample time to walk the dog before work!

Overthebow · 13/04/2025 21:45

italianprincess · 13/04/2025 21:41

DP's job is part time so she won't be away for 8 hours like I am so dog won't be on his own all day.

Your DP only works part time and she’s refusing to get up earlier to walk her dog?

TheMimsy · 13/04/2025 21:45

Why should you get up earlier to walk a dog on top of a 2 hour daily commute to work and manage the dog in Fridays when you work from home…

when she’s only got a 20 minute commute and works part time?

she should have considered this and sorted it before pretty much starting a new job. Can she afford a dog walker?

uhOhOP · 13/04/2025 21:49

If the DP in this OP were male, I think the replies would be different. It wouldn't be "work as a team", it would be "tell him to walk his own dog or he can fuck off and take his mangy mutt with him".

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/04/2025 21:51

Is there something missing from this post, like there are children the DP looks after or something?

Or that the dog is solely yours?

On the face of it, it looks like your DP is being very unreasonable but just seems really odd that anyone would take a new job with a slightly earlier start and assume their partner would step in.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/04/2025 21:51

uhOhOP · 13/04/2025 21:49

To be fair, only a few have said that.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6