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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to take responsibility for DP's dog walk before work

128 replies

italianprincess · 13/04/2025 21:30

DP has just got a new job which has fixed hours. She has to be at work for 9am Monday - Friday. It is a 20-25 minute drive to her new job. In her previous job she had a lot more flexibility, worked from home and could pretty much choose the hours she worked.
I have always had a job where I have to be in the office by 10am at the latest but I prefer getting in for 9am so that I can finish at 5pm rather than 6pm. Most people in my office arrive between 8 and 8.30am but I'm rarely there that early. It takes me an hour to get to work (40 minute drive and then 20 minute walk from the car park).
Until now DP and I have had an agreement where she walks the dog first thing in the morning Monday-Thursday and I do Friday-Sunday. The Friday has worked for me because I often work from home on a Friday and then I'm off work on Sat and Sunday.
DP has now said that she will be unable to walk the dog in the mornings due to starting her new job. She doesn't start her job officially for a couple of weeks but she is going into work tomorrow for a training course which starts at 9.15am. She has asked me if I can walk the dog in the morning, but I've said no. I don't want to set a precedent where she expects me to walk the dog every morning of the week just because she now has to work from 9am, which I've had to do the whole time. Her response to my refusal was 'well I don't know how he's going to get walked then because I have to be at work for 9.15am'. She has 40 minutes less of a commute than I do and people all over the world manage to walk their dog before starting work in the morning.
AIBU?

OP posts:
Pricelessadvice · 14/04/2025 13:57

JorgyPorgy · 14/04/2025 13:41

As a former owner of dogs, they do need to go for a morning walk, they may end up constipated etc or messing on floor if not. Some dogs don’t like to toilet in their gardens.
In my view it’s a bit neglectful not to take your dog for a walk at least a couple times a day, morning & evening .

Edited

I agree. Particularly if a dog is used to being walked first thing, it can be stressful to them if this suddenly stops.

We’ve always taken ours our first thing in the morning and then again at tea time. They have access to the garden during the day and they have a toilet area at the side of our garden to use.

Mydietstartstomorrow · 14/04/2025 14:20

JorgyPorgy · 14/04/2025 13:41

As a former owner of dogs, they do need to go for a morning walk, they may end up constipated etc or messing on floor if not. Some dogs don’t like to toilet in their gardens.
In my view it’s a bit neglectful not to take your dog for a walk at least a couple times a day, morning & evening .

Edited

As a current dog owner, in my view it’s down to the individual dog and owner. If your dog won’t go in the garden then of course you need to take them out first thing but with most dogs this is not the case. As long as they get walked properly it doesn’t matter if they go morning, lunchtime or evening there’s no rule and to say it’s neglectful taking them a few hours later is just daft. You do realise that some paid dog walkers do arrive at the homes until lunchtime or afternoon?! Should the owners be reported to the rspca for cruelty because that dog gets properly walked later in the day?? Jeez the huffers and puffers on this site are getting more and more ridiculous every day 🙄

Motheroffive999 · 14/04/2025 16:17

thornbury · 14/04/2025 09:48

I am at work by 7, have a 30 minute commute, and I have already walked the dog before I leave home. It's very doable. All you need is an alarm clock, a dog, suitable clothing and a front door. Your DP needs to get a grip.

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