People that shout "THANK YOU!" to those that don't say it

[tvchoice]

Why do you do so?
Personally, if I hold a door or let someone through and they don't acknowledge and thank me, I don't let it bother me and simply get on with my day. The reason for this is I quite honestly couldn't care less how a total stranger behaves towards me, within reason of course, because they are exactly that. A stranger that means nothing to me.
Therefore, if they don't say thank you, it doesn't matter enough for me to need to react to it, but for many others, they have a different mindset. Help me understand! Why is this?
Surely someone would need to be important to you for their behaviour to affect you enough to react to it?

Ooooh, you're hard! 😱

I bet everyone around you quivers in their boots when they see coming, knowing you will CALL THEM OUT if they don't kiss your feet and shower with praise every single time you do the tiniest thing for them! 😂

Ooooooh, I'm soooo SCARED!

A classic case of speak for yourself.

If I found your husband to be rude (gold teeth or not) I still wouldn't hesitate to point out his bad manners.

These type of comments really bother me, my child has selective mutism and of course we teach him manners but he cannot use his voice in certain situations.

We have interventions in place to help him overcome this, he may whisper a thank you, that is a massive step forward if he manages it, although you may not hear him, I will know he has said it.

If you use a patronising tone back, that can be a massive step back. You really shouldn't judge without knowing what people are going through.

Ah ... a pavement hogger has arrived on Mumsnet!😁

She hasn’t said children though.

And by your logic you could never say anything to any adult for fear of them being selectively mute.

In the example you provided, the person moved back behind the others in their party of their own accord. So what made them a pavement hogger?

There have been several examples on this thread of adults with legitimate reasons for not responding, other than selective mutism, not to mention examples of people who did say thank you but weren't heard - so the logic of not saying anything is 100% valid.

I once did this to a colleague, we have instilled such good manners in our son it’s a habit. I’m not embarrassed though, manners cost nothing!

Because they remained two abreast, and didn't pre-emptively move.

And there also lots of examples where there haven’t been legitimate reasons provided.

So some people will say something, some will not. Both are valid choices.

I assure you that this really isn’t the situation - I’m describing kids who will happily & confidently ask for something yet seem to lose their words when it comes to the please/thank you part! It’s usually telling when the parents have 0 manners either.

Another thing in favour of the not saying anything approach is that what good does it do? Does anyone really change their behaviour for the better after being "called out"? I tend to just think the person is a right twat.

That’s not what you said though. You said they expected a thank you for moving.

The poster did mention children in the very last paragraph, maybe I misunderstood the meaning 🤷‍♀️

My logic? Where have I said you can't say anything to anyone for fear they have selective mutism? I just mentioned about a patronising tone. Of course you can speak to someone or try and speak to someone. I am just stating that there maybe a reason why someone may not respond because they simply can't.

My mum used to do this to people when we were younger. I used to get so embarrassed but I can understand why she used to do it now.
I don’t say anything myself, I just think, ‘rude!’

I have also been on the receiving end, when a guy stood to the side to let me past when I was pushing a buggy (he really didn’t need to, there was loads of room on the wide pavement ) I smiled and nodded at him in thanks, but apparently, that wasn’t enough, he tutted and said ‘you’re welcome’
Did he want me to bow down to him in praise or something?! Silly man.

No, because the harm done when there is a legitimate reason outweighs the good (if there is any good at all) done when there isn't one. There's a poster upthread who hasn't felt able to go back to one local place where someone had a go at her as she was reeling from life-changing bad news.

Yes, I think it does. I once moved an old wet newspaper from a bench to the floor to sit down. A woman told me it was rude to litter like that and moved the newspaper to the bin (which was about 50 yards away). I was initially annoyed but now if I do remove something like that, I put it in the bin.

🤣🤣🤣
Get a life…. how long did it take you to go find a giph… you saddo’s wont get a row out of me… u just made me laugh and smile thanks for cheering me up

What part of being three abreast and one person dropping back only as the people already in single file approached, and then expecting thanks for graciously vacating 1/3 of the pavement when the others had already vacated 2/3 of it are you struggling to understand?

It's really bad manners to tell other adults off for their manners. Surprised the self-proclaimed sticklers don't know this. On a practical level, it's also pretty much guaranteed to have the opposite effect.

Same as you op. I think it's just as rude to comment as it is to not say thank you. If I hold the door open doe someone and they don't acknowledge it I don't care because I didn't do it for their praise.

Actually I'd go further and say that sometimes people have "helped"me when I haven't needed help, where it seems like a power play or patronising, and then expect me to thank them when I never needed their help in their first place.

he needs to learn another way of acknowledging thank yous then… maybe raise a hand 🤷‍♀️

THIS!!! And I'm a Mum with a pram but jesus other Mums with prams, stop walking 2 or 3 a breast without moving!!!

Again, very slowly. One person did move back for you. So why is that person a pavement hogger?

It doesn’t bother me enough to shout at people however, I do have an issue with people not giving me the chance to say “thank you” before they shout it at me or shouting it with the belief they have done something when they haven’t. I will also add me saying “thank you” but them not hearing me so I’m shouted at unnecessarily.