People that shout "THANK YOU!" to those that don't say it

[tvchoice]

Why do you do so?
Personally, if I hold a door or let someone through and they don't acknowledge and thank me, I don't let it bother me and simply get on with my day. The reason for this is I quite honestly couldn't care less how a total stranger behaves towards me, within reason of course, because they are exactly that. A stranger that means nothing to me.
Therefore, if they don't say thank you, it doesn't matter enough for me to need to react to it, but for many others, they have a different mindset. Help me understand! Why is this?
Surely someone would need to be important to you for their behaviour to affect you enough to react to it?

Maybe she was aiming it at the third person. I agree she shouldn’t have made a general comment though.

I think we’re all in agreement on that and that it is good manners to acknowledge it. It definitely is, and can be a nice exchange for both people involved. It’s absolutely the better course.

However, I think more what is being debated here is whether, in the situation where someone doesn’t, it is appropriate to berate them.

But you don’t hold the door open for others on trains and buses,

I find it funny when people react to rudeness with more rudeness. I would never shout "thank you" at someone who hasn't thanked me (though I might mutter something under my breath when they were no longer in earshot).

I like to go with the passive aggressive "you're welcome".

When customers were rude when i worked at the local bakery at 15 I used to squeeze their cake / donut with my tongs as I slid it into the paper bag and smile sweetly.

I stepped aside yesterday so that a man could push a young child past in a wheelchair on a narrow pavement. He said a lovely thank you and I acknowledged him back. It makes a huge difference when people are polite and I wish more people were so. I'm not talking about those who, for example, may be distracted by managing kids, just those who are completely oblivious/rude/entitled. I have said a sarcastic "you're welcome" before, but I say it quietly, not shouted out.

I’m not sure whether to laugh at this or whether it sounds like a character in a horror movie. 😱

This. ^ It's naff and attention-seeking, and suggests you only do favours for people for praise and recognition. As I said, whilst I would always say thank you, NOBODY owes anyone a response or a thank you, for something they never asked you to do. Get over yourselves. Entitled much?! 😂

I bet the passive aggressive 'I think you will find the words are thank you' type posters, are the same ones who demand to see the manager in shops when things don't go their way, and rant away on Facebook, about people parking incorrectly, and wheelie bins not being taken in within 6 hours of being emptied. Along with posting snide and passive aggressive digs on social media, without actually naming who they're getting at! 😆

I expect I will be called a patronising cow making a micro aggressive gesture towards someone who can’t retaliate but hey ho. I know from ( limited) experience that it is the norm in many rural areas to say “Thankyou driver” when getting off a bus, but it has only quite recently started to happen in my area of London . And I really like it. London bus drivers get a shed load of abuse from a lot of their passengers and although it doesn’t in any way make up for being sworn at or spat at I like bus drivers to know that not everyone is a mindless, drunken, sweary, aggressive,freeloading, add own adjective as required, pig.

I bet @VapeVamp12 had a trap door in the bakery she worked in, that dropped people into the cellar below - if they had the audacity to not say thank you to her, for putting their sausage roll into a paper bag! 😱

😂

It's okay the tong squeeze was the limit for me! I am quite a bit older now and I wouldn't do that because I'd worry they'd come back and ask for a refund / I'd get in trouble. 😂

Oooooooookaaaaay. 😬

Pisses me off if I am out with my dog and we step to one side to let a family past and they take ages and none say thank you. They usually get a comment from me, particularly as the parents are setting a poor example.

Yeah and it gives JD Vance bully vibes of "You haven't even said thank you!!".

I am far to British to think its anything but the height of rudeness to draw attention to someone's rudeness (be it intentional or not). The only acceptable time to do it, IMO, is in the car when no one can hear you.

I usually say, 'No worries, you're welcome' to which my son says but they didn't say thank you Mommy, I reply to him so the ignoramouses can hear, I know sweetheart but it is nice to be polite. 😁

Have you thought of doing an online yoga class OP? Yoga with Adrienne is free and very soothing and you can switch her on and off whenever you want to.

Sorry, wrong thread. 🙂

Have to admit I do usually say “you’re welcome” - I don’t shout but it’s loud enough for them to hear. Really annoys me when I hold a door open / move aside to let someone past etc and there’s no acknowledgment. It’s basic manners to say thank you.

The way I see it is that many people are rude and many other people get tired of it. If I held a door or some other little courtesy for a stranger and they didn't say thank you, I'd probably be annoyed but I probably wouldn't say anything.

But that's not because I don't want to give them the pleasure of seeing that they annoyed me, which I think is a strange take on it, by the way. It's because my feeling is that when all you know about someone is that they give off "red flags," it's stupid to continue interacting with them in any way. In other words, I don't say anything to them because I don't want to deal with the even uglier situation it might bring about, when it seems I'm dealing with an ugly person.

But if I did say something to them, I would not be thinking about how saying something to them might give them the satisfaction of knowing they annoyed me, though. I'd be thinking about the satisfaction I was getting from handing their rudeness back to them.

If someone is particularly ignorant to me at work (or anywhere!) then I will tell them ‘you’re welcome’. Basic manners cost nothing and it really bothers me when people don’t say please & thank you, especially when it comes to parents/their children.

I have said "you're welcome" on occasions. Like not when I hold up a door for a person just behind me but if a person is a little further back I might stay and hold up the door because it feels so rude to just shut it. 9 times out of 10 people do say thank you or nod and smile which is the same in my book: an acknowledgment. If the person strides through ignoring me as I'm the butler I do say "you're welcome" in a cheery tone.

@Allswellthatendswelll

Yeah and it gives JD Vance bully vibes of "You haven't even said thank you!!"

YES! Yes it does!

I'm cringing a bit for you. 😬

No thank you is rude, but I suspect a lot of the time is because they're distracted and not thinking, so it's an accidental rudeness at least some of the time. And they may have said it and you not heard as well.
But saying something sarcastic is a deliberate rudeness to call someone out, so I'd say ruder.

And honestly, do people really hold the door open to get a thank you? Does it really make any difference? And who can honestly say that they have never forgotten or been distracted at a point they should have said thank you or similar?
I'm normally careful to be polite, but I'm equally sure I will at times have not said something I normally would.
And there have been stressful times when things are very difficult where someone saying something sarcastic would have really upset me.

Can't people give others the benefit of the doubt and be the bigger person on something that doesn't matter? Make a nicer place for all of us

If you don’t believe in basic manners, especially teaching them to kids then that’s a you problem I’m afraid!