Adult DC not allowed by parents to go on holiday

[goosemoosebooth]

The situation is an adult in their 20’s, graduated from uni but working in a minimum wage job while they try to find their first graduate job. Parents have allowed their DC to not pay any board until they get their full time graduate job as DS is only on minimum wage.

However, DC is not allowed to go a holiday abroad as part of this agreement as that is a waste of money that they should not be spending when working only minimum wage job.

What are your thoughts?

I’d imagine their controlling nature will push their dc away …
is there a minimum salary expectation before they’ll be allowed to travel 🤣

So what exactly is the person meant to be saving up for? More sensible for the parents to ask for board, and then the person can save up what's left and do as they please with it. Parents seem quite unreasonable to me.

Are you the adult parent or the adult graduate?
An adult is an adult they can do what they like. Whether the parents are happy with this is another matter.

I think the adult should be allowed to pay rent so their life is not controlled by parents. Failing that, move out… pronto! What will be rationed next?

Well it's probably not sensible for the AC to spend a lot of money on a holiday while their parents are, in effect, subsidising their life style.

But actually forbidden?

Is the young adult usually sensible with money?

Could the holiday be partially funded as a birthday, Christmas, graduation present from the parents?

If their rent is being waived so they can save for a house deposit then presumably the parents have a vested interest in helping their child (depart the home and stand on their own feet).

Are you the adult DC? Yeah, it's not that it's a waste of money, it's TAKING THE P*SS!!! Parents subsidise their kids to help them progress, not to think they're free to just mess around. Holidays come when you can save and pay for them at the same time as supporting yourself.

I’d pay my way and do as I pleased. Or save 90% of my wage to move out as quickly as possible.

FFS, which one are you

Parents have waived the issue of rent. Presumably, therefore, DC’s money that they are earning is theirs to do with as they wish?

Were any conditions set down originally in this agreement, e.g. how much money had to be saved, etc?

It's up to parents to decide whether or not to charge rent. It's not ok for parents to dictate to DC's what they spend their money on. If parents are not happy that DC wants to go on holiday they should start charging rent.

I'd say this situation isn't working.

Surely the parents recognise the hard work the DC has done to graduate and want them to have a little get away, even just a few days away to recharge and reset.

I'd tell my parents I was going camping in Wales, and then head to the airport. 😎

I think if the adult in question doesn't like these terms, he/she should move out and be financially independent. I wouldn't put up with anyone dictating how I spend my own money, so that would be my decision in these circumstances.

However, I do think it's foolish to spend money on a holiday abroad if you're earning a very small salary and relying on other people to house you for free.

If the DS (you said DS in your post so I’m assuming it’s a he not a they) isn’t happy, it sounds like he needs to either negotiate or look for a shared house where he can set his own rules.

Holiday could mean different things to different people. All inclusive week in a posh resort abroad, probably not a great idea. But what about a few days at a festival or visiting friends? Would that be allowed?

Sounds like an odd set up, and as though the parents want them to move out asap! Hence the trying to foreshorten the time it takes them to save.

Sounds a bit of a miserable way to live though!

If I were the offspring in this situation, I’d move out as soon as I could afford to.

I’d kind of see the parents pov to be honest. They are subsidising an adult, working person and will be out of pocket for food, extra electricity etc to do so, then to see money being spent on holidays could be a bit annoying. Maybe the adult dc feels the parents can afford to be out of pocket on their behalf but that is a bit entitled.

it would probably be better for all if the dc paid board and was then free to do what they wanted with their left over money. 🤷‍♀️. Because I can also see that treating the adult child like a kid would be frustrating for them and controlling and push them away.

The National Minimum Wage works out at £23,492 per year

Anybody earning NMW can afford to pay rent and pay their way if living with family

to see money being spent on holidays could be a bit annoying.

If the DC was pissing around and being workshy, I would agree. But the DC in this situation IS working. And earning, albeit at a lower level than they/their parents would prefer. Why shouldn’t they have a holiday, if they can afford it?

Presumably the adult DC has the option to start paying rent and then they could go on holiday if they like.

I disagree. The parents have chosen not to charge rent. It's not the case the adult DC refusing to pay which would be different.

I would actively encourage my adult DC in similar circumstances to have as much fun now including going on holiday before they settle into their long term career type job.

Young people working and getting themselves successfully through a uni course don’t need holidays. They certainly don’t deserve to do any travelling or experiencing different cultures. An absolute WASTE of recourses.

Awful deal.

I'd think the parents are dicks. Control under the guise of kindness