Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry of DH fiddling on my side of the bed?

206 replies

Kukaracha · 12/04/2025 16:23

When I go out and he is having a me moment IYKWIM, he does it on my side of the bed because it’s further away from the window. Don’t ask how I know - I think most women know what happens in the house when they are out, it’s like CSI in our heads.

I don’t care that he does it as such, who does not - just not on my side. Close the blinds, pull the curtains, just get off my pillows.

OP posts:
LondonFox · 12/04/2025 21:52

Kukaracha · 12/04/2025 21:31

For clarity - he had karate chopped the cushion, not me. I just place them as they are, fully fluffed out. If you are covering up your acts, do it properly or do not bother at all.

Edited

Tbh when I read your comments think your DH needs a messages along the usual MN ones:
LTB
Bin her out
You sound unhinged but not in a sexy/wild way.
Leave poor sod to wank in peace ffs

Topsyturvy78 · 12/04/2025 21:55

That's grose the least he could do is get rid of the evidence. What do you say when you go to get into bed and find his fizz there?

candycane222 · 12/04/2025 22:02

I think the DH crime is that he rouches the posh cushions so OP can tell he's been on her side of the bed. The - crustier evidence (a sock? A t-shirt?) goes in the laundry bin - but he fails to plump up the posh cushions properly, nay, may even lay on them with his smelly man head...

Hmm now i think about it, I wouldn't want my DH smelly man head on my pillows - so I do kind of see OP's point. Though whether there is any chance whatsoever of making her DH understand is another question....

Pussycat22 · 12/04/2025 22:03

murasaki · 12/04/2025 16:34

Quite, I'm sure he does, I do, but your side of the bed and evidence is not on. At all.

Show quote history

Rub it in his pillow!!!

savethatkitty · 12/04/2025 22:15

Sorry, this made me chuckle.

Return the favour? Please yourself on his side, it's not quite the same..

Or he washes the sheets.

springbringshope · 12/04/2025 22:23

Topsyturvy78 · 12/04/2025 21:55

That's grose the least he could do is get rid of the evidence. What do you say when you go to get into bed and find his fizz there?

Do you even read the OPs posts?

Original poster
Kukaracha · 12/04/2025 22:25

@candycane222 You have so got it. I do not care if he understands, as long as he just does not do it. I do not fully understand why he would not want me to drive his precious sports car, but I do not labour the point, as I am happy to drive my own car. 😂 Same thing.

OP posts:
ItGhoul · 12/04/2025 22:37

candycane222 · 12/04/2025 22:02

I think the DH crime is that he rouches the posh cushions so OP can tell he's been on her side of the bed. The - crustier evidence (a sock? A t-shirt?) goes in the laundry bin - but he fails to plump up the posh cushions properly, nay, may even lay on them with his smelly man head...

Hmm now i think about it, I wouldn't want my DH smelly man head on my pillows - so I do kind of see OP's point. Though whether there is any chance whatsoever of making her DH understand is another question....

Hmm now i think about it, I wouldn't want my DH smelly man head on my pillows

’Smelly man head’? Fucking hell. Are you five years old?

I swear to god, it isn’t fucking normal for a straight person to be automatically repulsed by the opposite sex.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 12/04/2025 22:40

Are you sure he's alone in the bed @Kukaracha ?

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 12/04/2025 22:42

ItGhoul · 12/04/2025 22:37

Hmm now i think about it, I wouldn't want my DH smelly man head on my pillows

’Smelly man head’? Fucking hell. Are you five years old?

I swear to god, it isn’t fucking normal for a straight person to be automatically repulsed by the opposite sex.

Show quote history

There seems to be more pushback on this thread than I normally see, and it’s about time too.

ilovepixie · 12/04/2025 22:43

Does he not have a cock sock?

Ellebelle01 · 12/04/2025 22:53

I read that he doesn’t leave any evidence, it’s in the laundry bin. So I’m not sure I understand. Do you not have sex with him on your side of the bed either? Lol

HarlanPepper · 12/04/2025 22:53

candycane222 · 12/04/2025 22:02

I think the DH crime is that he rouches the posh cushions so OP can tell he's been on her side of the bed. The - crustier evidence (a sock? A t-shirt?) goes in the laundry bin - but he fails to plump up the posh cushions properly, nay, may even lay on them with his smelly man head...

Hmm now i think about it, I wouldn't want my DH smelly man head on my pillows - so I do kind of see OP's point. Though whether there is any chance whatsoever of making her DH understand is another question....

How do you manage to share a bed with someone you find physically repulsive?

itsjustbiology · 12/04/2025 22:58

Before you go out hide your pillows in the spare room! Is this happening every time you leave the house? I do hope you don't have a busy schedule OP the poor man must be exhausted!

Moveoverdarlin · 12/04/2025 22:59

I can’t see how this is any different to having aex with him on your side of the bed. Can’t say I get the uproar.

PluckyBamboo · 12/04/2025 23:09

That is so grim and disrespectful. Buy him a box of tissues and penis beaker.

ClairDeLaLune · 12/04/2025 23:17

ICanTellYouMissMe · 12/04/2025 18:13

I had a wank on the sofa today. Twice. Maybe I should have Dextered it with cling film first or something, judging by the horrified comments on here.

Are you JD Vance?

FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 12/04/2025 23:24

springbringshope · 12/04/2025 18:41

That you read so much into the post that didn’t happens suggests everything in you is primed to be repulsed by men’s sexuality. At no point has anyone said he’s cumming on anything.

Show quote history

Mhmm... I think you are the one doing the reaching with your comment lol.

ForPearlNewt · 12/04/2025 23:26

From the thread title I assumed the DH was messing up the carefully made bed with his enthusiastic violin playing. 🎻

SmugglersHaunt · 12/04/2025 23:30

LTB

MeganM3 · 12/04/2025 23:33

Agree with you OP, it’s not right.
I don’t like my H / anyone else using my pillows. Even resting against them. I just don’t like it. My face is on there while I sleep I don’t want someone else’s head oil or sweat or dandruff or ANYTHING ELSE being on there. Yuck.

WooleyMunky · 12/04/2025 23:52

Pedallleur · 12/04/2025 16:38

Don't some people claim to have posh wanks? Tell him you know and just stop or use his side of the bed/use tissues/change the sheet/leave a sheet out and a note saying when you have finished wanking please change the sheet and put the soiled one in the washing basket. Thank you.

Edited

Invented by Viz.
No man, ever, has actually had a 'posh wank'.

ThisChic · 12/04/2025 23:52

ExtraOnions · 12/04/2025 16:30

He wanks in your side of the bed? How do you know this ?

I have no idea when, or where (or if??), my husband masturbates. I’ve never seen any associated detritus hanging around.

Tbh I don't understand why men in relationships or marriages who supposedly are attracted to their gf/wife need to masturbate....if they are getting enough sex...

Mnetcurious · 12/04/2025 23:55

“I think most women know what happens in the house when they are out, it’s like CSI in our heads”

Speak for yourself, definitely not the case here - I have no suspicions about what my husband does when I’m not there (usually working) nor does it ever occur to me to turn detective.

Mnetcurious · 12/04/2025 23:57

ThisChic · 12/04/2025 23:52

Tbh I don't understand why men in relationships or marriages who supposedly are attracted to their gf/wife need to masturbate....if they are getting enough sex...

Show quote history

Agreed - pretty sure mine doesn’t. If he does I’ve never seen or heard evidence of it in 20+ years of marriage.