To be angry of DH fiddling on my side of the bed?

[Kukaracha]

When I go out and he is having a me moment IYKWIM, he does it on my side of the bed because it’s further away from the window. Don’t ask how I know - I think most women know what happens in the house when they are out, it’s like CSI in our heads.

I don’t care that he does it as such, who does not - just not on my side. Close the blinds, pull the curtains, just get off my pillows.

Just make an innocuous comment asking if he knows why your side of the bed is messed up? Followed by "have you been on my side of the bed? Ifs definitely different to normal."

And if he carries on, moisten the bed and your hand and pretend you've found put your hand in something damp and ask him if he knows what it is. Tell him, as you wash it off, if you didn't know better you'd think it was semen.

Quite. Are the velvet cushions only on her side of the bed? Isn’t the bedding symmetrical?
i seriously think there are lots and lots of women in here who find men repulsive. Poor blokes. Imagine living with someone who finds you repulsive just because you see a man.

where do these women masturbate if not in/on the bed?

🙌 WTF is wrong with so many people on here. I think they hate sex

Christ on a bike that's a lot of effort for nothing. He only had a wank he didn't commit murder up there.

Huh? You mean men who wank? Don’t you masturbate? I thought everyone did

Oh dear god are you serious?

I strongly suspect the OP and some of the women on here don’t masturbate and fund the whole sec thing repulsive

There is quite a lot wrong with quite a lot of people on here. That’s why they are on here. Especially when it comes to sex. The people with healthy attitudes to sex and relationships generally tend not to be on here in the 1st place.

That you read so much into the post that didn’t happens suggests everything in you is primed to be repulsed by men’s sexuality. At no point has anyone said he’s cumming on anything.

You don't care? What are yoi asking for then?

You know, I'd probably feel like 'just put a towel down, please'. But if DH ignored my request or if I ask him to use his side of the bed and he still does uses mine, no matter what reason he's given, then as far as I'm concerned it's either a passive aggressive move or he's doing it to show 'who's boss'. Either way it'd piss me off.

Yes, he should wash the sheets if there's any 'evidence'. But more importantly he is completely disregarding your very reasonable request. And that's disrespectful.

Have you thought of getting some of those pigeon spikes? They put them up and our workplace and they seem to be an excellent deterrent.

Alternatively, you could set up a concealed web cam aimed at your side of the bed and set up a pay to view website and make a bit of money on the side.

I'm very confused about what the poor bloke is doing wrong.l??

i'm also very confused about the velvet and karate topping?! it sounded to me like the OP only 'dresses' her side of the bed, and uses the karate style chop to make the velvet cushions on her side sit 'just so'

I'm getting a funny picture through my head of her side of the bed being all 'dressed' and a mountain of cushions placed 'just so' well his side of the bed is all bleach start to linen hospital style 🤣🤣

Some threads on here make me glad to be a lesbian, albeit one who’s thoroughly confused by the ‘evidence’ 🤨

And I feel sad that I can’t remember the last time I had a good wank, fucking menopause 😔

Unless your bed is 10m wide, surely anyone that can see his side, can also see your side?? He should definitely be closing curtains lol - I'd worry more about an unsuspecting dog walker rounding a corner, to see him merrily bashing away, thinking your side of the bed has made him invisible!

FWIW though, I like having my own pillow too. Nice and clean, having only had my clean face on it, after I've washed it of an evening. Don't like the rest of the family mauling it and grubbing it up like they do everything else - surely I can have a measly 60cm × 40m of space TO MYSELF??

What? How is he disgusting for masturbating?

He’s not leaving evidence, aside from what sounds like a ruffled pillow.

I can’t see what he’s doing wrong here? Messing up the pillow placement? I don’t get it…..

Consider putting up appropriate signage.

This

Unless she puts her face on dry clean only velvet cushionsI’m pretty sure these are decorative bed cushions

Don't you know you could go blind/develop hairy palms/be Satan's bride/be in a whole world of guilt and ssn. Forgive me father, I wanked myself senseless this Easter. Of course they don't.

When you thought you had read everything on MN.

Oh there is always, always more. It’s endless fun 😂

Your first post made it seem like he left sperm on your pillow… this would be revolting.

but the follow up post seems like he tidied up after himself, but you’re upset he doesn’t plump the pillows correctly??! 🤷🏼‍♀️ If that’s the case, you’re being ridiculous.

Reminds me of the wanking Barbary ape in Folly Farm, the dirty beggar licked his fingers afterwards. Too late, my niece aged 5 saw him and happily told people walking past "that monkey ate his willy" 😂