To be angry of DH fiddling on my side of the bed?

[Kukaracha]

When I go out and he is having a me moment IYKWIM, he does it on my side of the bed because it’s further away from the window. Don’t ask how I know - I think most women know what happens in the house when they are out, it’s like CSI in our heads.

I don’t care that he does it as such, who does not - just not on my side. Close the blinds, pull the curtains, just get off my pillows.

Indeed. The gift that keeps on giving 🙈🤣

No idea what that abbreviation stands for but from other posts it seems like you are referring to your husband wanking and leaving evidence in your bed? That is fucking revolting, sorry.

I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about where DP wanks. It doesn’t cross my mind, and it certainly doesn’t bother me. As long as he’s not spunking all over your pillow, and leaving you to clean it up, then what’s the problem? 🤷🏻‍♀️

What a bloody weird thread.

Read the thread! He hasn’t left any “evidence”. I agree that would be rank (a pps comment about “sperm on your pillow” made me gag!) but he hasn’t done that? Sheets have gone in the wash and the only “evidence” seems to be some misplaced pillows?

God no, eew would not like that at all.

Eh, this isn’t normal surely? I’m pretty sure my husband doesn’t even have a wank, no secrets in our house. If he did he would do it in the bathroom and definitely not mess up the bed.

Or just leave one of his odd socks with a note saying cum hither.

Oh no
Not on MN
Enjoying sex is disgusting and women only have sex because the mens make them because women don't like sex

It is a penis shaped crease.

Do you not have sex then?

I dont really want to read any more details on this, sorry. Though I'm now intrigued - how on Earth she knows he was wanking and not simply lying down??

So he’s not actually creating any kind of mess on the bed?

In that case, I don’t see what the problem is. You share the bed with him and, I assume, fuck him in it, and you’re angry that he’s touched his own dick on ‘your’ side? This is a man you exchange body fluids with.

I’m pretty sure I’ve gone at it solo many times on my boyfriend’s side of the bed. I’ve no idea which side he chooses for a wank. Neither do I care. At all.

*Dry clean only velvet embellished cushions’

This reminds me very much of the Victoria Wood film ‘Pat & Margaret’ where Duncan Preston tells his overbearing mum, Thora Hird, that he has sex with Margaret in the house when she’s out, and she says ‘NOT ON THE EIDERDOWN??’

Jesus, it’s a bed. It’s for naked bodies. Don’t put dry-clean only velvet cushions on it if you don’t want people sitting on them.

You seriously think your husband doesn’t ever have a wank?

Hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa

I’ve just relayed this to my husband who has said ‘I don’t see the problem. He will just like to smell his wife’ so while we all think it’s weird maybe it’s weird in a nice way ?!

I have not laughed so much in ages, reading all the comments - mainly at myself :-)

I do not care that he does it as such - some days I have to take edge off in the lunch break myself (WFH). The stress relief makes me a better person.

But my side of the bed is sacred to me, I would not do it on his side and I hate that he did it on mine. Just the fact of it. I have asked him not to do it before but clearly, approaching it delicately, has not done the trick. Pigeon studs on order. Some will understand the cushion preservation angst, some will roll their eyes.

OP when I fancy a fiddle I’m sprawled all over our bed. What’s the problem with that? Can you imagine a husband telling his wife she’d better stay exactly on her own side of the bed when masturbating? WTF.

Calling bullshit on this stupid thread.

Do you only ever have sex on his side of the bed, then? The attitude to nakedness and sex on this site is something else.

Well your side of the bed smells like you so obviously he will wank there.
I am surprised at you complqining about it tbh

I had the same reaction myself 😂😂

If it's just that the cushions have moved then maybe he's just very... energetic with it and has to tidy up after everything he's knocked off

There was a thread a while back where the husband had tentatively asked his wife if she felt like watching him, and there were loads of people saying that the very idea of watching a man doing that is utterly repellent and flat-out refusing to believe any woman who said they found it sexy could possibly be telling the truth.

There was also a thread about the male gaze recently which was full of women saying ‘Ew, why would I want to look at a male body, men look awful naked, willies are horrid’ as if it’s somehow abnormal for women to have any sexual feelings about men of any kind.

Mumsnet is honestly the only place where I see this attitude prevail. I don’t think I have any female friends in real life who feel like that, at all.

This is what I'd assume too 🤷 as long as he's not jizzing on the velvet pillows or bedding, and the only evidence is a non-karate chopped pillow, I'm not sure I see the problem.

God I really feel for men. How hurtful. There definitely is a bizarre amount of women like this on Mumsnet. I can’t wrap my head around it.

For clarity - he had karate chopped the cushion, not me. I just place them as they are, fully fluffed out. If you are covering up your acts, do it properly or do not bother at all.