Found more messages - feeling completely broken (again)

[Aud1988]

Hi all, feeling utterly devastated. Found more explicit messages from my partner to another woman on Instagram - he's told her we're not together. This is the second time in under a year, after we supposedly worked through it in therapy. We have a 19-month-old and I'm newly pregnant.
Completely blindsided as things felt so much better. Now all trust is gone and I'm full of anger. I'm so worried about breaking up our family for the kids, but I can't accept this again.
Has anyone else been through repeat online infidelity? Did you leave? How did you cope with the impact on your children? Feeling lost and any shared experiences would be appreciated

I suggest you look back at the tone of the post that I was referring it. It was vile and I stand by my remark. As was the other poster who effectively ordered the OP to have an abortion. I got that little charmers post deleted because that was vile too. There are some bloody ignorant people on MN at times, and I have every right to call out inappropriate posts.

Hold your head high Aud He doesn't deserve you and he doesn't deserve to wake up every morning under the same roof as his children. Kick him into touch but make sure you get every penny you can for the children even if you don't need it. Put into a trust for their future. He helped make those children therefore he has to use some of his income on them and not on wining and dining other women.
Let him go and concentrate on your family, your 2 little ones will grow in a peaceful home provided by their loving mum.

@Aud1988 his response doesn’t surprise me at all. When I caught my ex, I asked him the same question, if he felt any guilt, and he confidently said no when he was with those other women he did didn’t even think of me. I didn’t exist in that moment or our child of course. He admitted he was able to completely compartmentalise his home life and his affairs. He’d also previously told me I was the love of his life that he’d never met anyone like me and never would again. He changed his tune when I told him I was leaving and he said now that he knew how much it hurt me he wouldn’t be able to compartmentalise again. They are cold, callous narcissists who are incapable of empathy or change. There’s no coming back from this. You sound confident, capable and competent. you and your children will go on to have a much happier life without a narcissist like this in it. Good luck OP, stay strong.

I could have written this post, I discovered the same and forgave him. We are still together 2.5 years post online infidelity. I think about it on a daily basis, I don’t trust him - have never checked his phone since mind. But I want to, and angry that he’s made me feel like this. But I’ve lost all respect for him and am in the process of plucking up the courage to end our relationship. Prior to discovery, he was the perfect man. I raised 3 children as a single mum after their father cheated and left. They are 3 well grounded and happy children. You can do this on your own! In fact you’ll be much stronger because of it. Please don’t tolerate it. I did and I’ve been miserable ever since. The trust is gone. Whatever you choose to do. Good luck.

It seems my financial stability, independence, and strong support network haven't been fully understood. I also want to emphasize that co-parenting can absolutely provide a great life for children. While it might be considered a "bundle of cells" at this stage, those cells become a child, and my daughter is a testament to the incredible love and joy that brings. The idea of not allowing that potential, that future love, is something I could never do.

What are you on about, nothing in that post suggests that pp is a “pro lifer” or that her posts express concern about a “bundle of cells”. The concern is for the OP, who has made it clear that she wants her baby, as she has every right to, and you and other posters have absolutely no business passing judgement that she won’t provide an absolutely wonderful life for this baby regardless of her relationship 😡. It is pro CHOICE to recognise that abortion is a deeply personal decision for the women involved and nobody should be offering unsolicited advice on something like that in either direction .

You don’t need to justify your decision to have your baby at all OP xxx

@nCAgain111 @mavi5davi5 HUGE respect to both of you for having the courage to tell your stories on here. There's no shame in making a mistake (we all do) but it takes a strong person to admit it to themselves, let alone to others. 💜💜

You don't have to justify yourself to anyone. You want your baby, you have your baby xx

It's something I couldn't have done either unless in extreme circumstances.