To think it’s fair to judge people on their appearance in certain situations?

[ThisQuickLemonPoster]

If someone shows up to a job interview in a stained hoodie or if a teacher is overweight and unkempt, it does affect how seriously I take them. AIBU to think “don’t judge a book by its cover” only goes so far?

You can guarantee it? Really? As I got my current job over five other equally qualified candidates who are slim and not morbidly obese like I am. They also have the advantage of being able to walk, and one even had a penis, which is usually an instant offer of employment in primary teaching.

How does a teacher stay tidy and unfrazzled all day long? How is that possible? I remember my teachers always looked neat but that was in the 90s and schools are very different places these days. I have no idea how they do it.

Well said. Black suits at funerals look staid and awful

Add abit of colour.. we are at least seeing abit of change, hopefully one day it will.be the norm

Well teachers would wear different outfits wouldn't they, my friend is a teacher and is showered and in clean clothes every day

Then your friend will be safe from the disapproval of the original poster.

Your appearance means nothing to you? What sort of impression does that give to colleagues, staff and parents?

I don't wear make up to work. We're fairly relaxed on dress code so I'm usually in jeans, hoody and trainers if I'm in the office. My appearance doesn't matter to me, I have wild curly hair that often just does what it wants regardless of what I try, so mostly I just let it do what it wants.

The impression I give my colleagues is that I'm excellent at my job. That's what all my feedback for my reviews say. Not one person (other than a girl who now has balloons in place of lips, but who also doesn't have any impact on my career) has ever suggested I should do anything about my appearance. I'm clean, my clothes are clean, I smell nice, I just don't care whether Bob in Customer Services thinks I look nice or not.

Maybe it does but where I come from respect is everything. When my dad died I received a condolence card from one of his oldest friends, written as if by a 6 year old with the word "to yong Larry...sorry". That man exposed his lack of education, his poor handwriting to pay respect. It's a pair of fucking trousers at a £7k funeral.

You cared more about the spelling than the effort? You sound delightful, not.

By appearance not mattering, I meant that as in unkempt. As you are clean, clothes clean and smell nice, that’s all that matters, it’s fine and it’s obvious from that that your appearance does matter to you!

What an utterly depressing way to live life. Your dad's friend could hardly time travel to make up for a poor education to express his condolences. A man who sounds like he clearly struggles to write much made the effort to do so, for your benefit, and you could find nothing to appreciate in that.
I'm always slightly incredulous that anyone can remember what anyone was wearing at a loved one's funeral though. People could have been in bikinis or sacks at my mum's for all I remember. What I do remember is that people were there to express their love for her and their sadness that she was no longer with us.

Most people would rather have capable, smart, hard working, emotionally intellingent and king manager than someone who always got perfectly ironed shirt and 3pc black/navy/grey suit.
Same goes for what normal managers look for in their emoloyees.

I personally weed out shallow people like you by doing all interviews in a basic black tshirt.
Works wonders.
And no, I do not work in an entry role ;)

If you need to use second hand designer clothes to feel like you have a psychological edge, you honestly don't have an edge over anyone.

You judge a Teacher for being overweight?!

Wow.

Well, you exposed your own lack of education by apparently not knowing the difference between physiological and psychological, or maybe you’re just sloppy 🤷‍♀️

I've read some of the responses, but not all. For my ha'pennys worth, when I'm interviewing, I couldn't care less what a person is wearing as I don't know their personal circumstances. One of my best team members turned up to their interview in a crop top and jeans - they're one of the most savvy and capable members of my team and I know I can put any challenge their way and they'll nail it. When I interviewed them, I also interviewed some immaculately turned out suited and booted applicants - they were nice, but clearly weren't right for the role and I have never regretted not taking them on.
For my own part, even when I try to look immaculate, I still seem to look slightly unkempt (in my view) - it's never affected my performance or how I'm viewed. And, as a child from a clergy household, I can definitely confirm that no decent vicar would judge attendees of a funeral based on what they're wearing. There are so many funerals of those that have no-one attending that everyone is just glad that they're there.

I also couldn't care less of one of DCs teacher's etc. were overweight - as long as they did a good job, it has no bearing on their performance.

I feel like this thread is gaslighting me.
Everyone judges, we have instincts that have been honed over millions of years.

I visit a hospital clinic regularly where about 80% of the nurses are overweight.

It doesn't impact on how efficiently they do their job nor do I judge them.

I don't think you are being unreasonable - as human beings we ALL judge-it's how we have evolved, and allows us to perceive situations, threats etc, by making that judgement. I don't believe anyone who says they don't do this. Clearly we have to understand that we may be wrong in our evaluation, but I still maintain that we all do it, to some degree.

You took "I might look a bit frazzled" to mean unkempt and jumped on a teacher for that then?

I know many teachers. They're regularly frazzled. Comes with the job. You can't judge them for not being immaculate 100% of the time they're teaching. And as for OP reckoning overweight means they should be judged, given they're at school from 730 - 6 most days and planning / marking around that, should they be at the gym at midnight to ensure their appearance is up to scratch?

Like I've said previously, someone's appearance has no bearing on their ability to do their job.

So do you immediately go to "teacher overweight=unable to do their job" when judging someone's appearance, do you?

Because that's what the most people have taken offence at in this thread. Not the stained clothes for an interview, the fact that OP thinks someone's weight changes their ability to teach.

I absolutely couldn't care less what random people think about the way I look. Why would I?

I taught infants for many years and wore what was practical and comfortable so nothing very expensive that would get glue, paint etc on it.

I didn't make me a poorer teacher than someone in a school with ridiculous dress codes like everybody must wear a business suit.

You can’t judge how healthy someone is by looking at them. You literally can’t.

I disagree, with some people it is very obvious from their appearance that they are unhealthy