To think it’s fair to judge people on their appearance in certain situations?

[ThisQuickLemonPoster]

If someone shows up to a job interview in a stained hoodie or if a teacher is overweight and unkempt, it does affect how seriously I take them. AIBU to think “don’t judge a book by its cover” only goes so far?

Job interview maybe, why on earth for being a teacher though?

"Within the first seven seconds of meeting, people will have a solid impression of who you are — and some research suggests a tenth of a second is all it takes to start determining traits"

I don't know why people object to the idea that most people, (not all) make judgements about others. Most of us just can't help it.

How did I know before I opened this it would be about weight

Well it is about policing bodies, isn’t it? Or you wouldn’t have added put overweight and unkempt together.

Stains on nurses is very different to a teacher wearing dirty and unwashed and smelly clothes. Totally agree with you on nurses

Go to work in your pyjamas if it matters so little...

One of my DC’s schools decided to introduce a “dress code” for 6th form students.
They had to wear “suitable attire for an office environment”, and the girls were told that they couldn’t wear skirts above the knee, or anything low-cut.
Seeing as this directive was delivered by the Headteacher, who was herself wearing a skirt suit, skirt hem 3-4 inches above the knee, leopard-print tights and a scoop-neck top that did show some cleavage, I asked if the students couldn’t just follow the example that the teachers were setting…
It didn’t go down well 🤣
However, at any interview, I would expect the candidate to have at least made an effort to dress appropriately for the role, with office staff looking clean and smart and kitchen staff looking clean but more casual, for example…

Why does weight come into being a childminder? My friend is a childminder, an incredible one who is graded outstanding. She was very overweight and then went onto lose and awful lot of weight. She went from a size 20 to a size 8 with no medical help. She’s the exact same person, albeit slimmer, before and after losing weight. She has the same energy and mobility with the kids, the same vitality and the same wonderful personality. What a shame it would have been if people had discounted her when she was heavier, their children would have missed out on a truly wonderful childminder!

I wouldn’t want an obese childminder looking after my very active 4 year old DS

nope, no and no

And you say exactly the same energy and mobility now a size 8 as when she was a size 20? I’d love to know whether she agrees with you!

Some men have beards....this doesn't amount to "not shaving".

DH has uniform for work and we have no need for "formal" clothes beyond things like funerals or weddings, and what we do have isn't always appropriate given the number of years between these occasions. If we have the money we'll go buy for the occasion, if not we won't.

And judging someone on whether they're wearing jeans or formal trousers while they're grieving the loss of a parent doesn't speak well of your character. When I lose either of my parents I think it'll be a win if I am dressed and out of the house, I'm going to find that period very hard.

I really hope I never have the misfortune to use your funeral directors.

This. Similarly if I was in hospital I wouldn't care if my nurse or doctor had messy hair scraped back, clothes perhaps unironed etc, as long as they were clean enough for infection control purposes. All I'd care about is their knowledge, skills and bedside manner.

How does it give you a physiological edge? Do you mean psychological?

I think we all make initial judgments on everyone’s appearance it is what you do after that makes the difference.

there is a regular man on my train who has a swastika on his forehead. I have never spoken to him but I have decided to never sit next to him.

I mean, that's a bit different to saying "that teacher could lose a few pounds, they can't be any good at their job".

Teachers generally work 12 hours a day though. When are they meant to do their laundry and ironing, polish their shoes etc?

I know she fully agrees with me as we are very close, I’ve also watched her in action an awful lot. I hate to think how you would feel if your child became obese when they’re an adult. Many, many people have very active children whilst they’re overweight. Do you think they’re any less of a person because of this, do you believe they’re any less of a parent?

How bizarre

my son at 4 years as very active and very fast

an obese childminder simply would not have been able to keep up with him. Fact.

And if my child was obese and became a CM, yes I’d be concerned for her and the children

But weight does impact people's ability to do some jobs. I was in local swimming pool last night and a grossly obese women walked (well waddled) from the changing rooms to the pool. She could barely move her feet one in front of the other very slowly, it required a sort of lurch to shift her body weight with each step. That would make her unsuited to working in a classroom. Why are people so deluded about the impact of obesity? It is a serious problem.

@Jabberwok was hoist with his own petard, trying to be clever by using long words. It’s worrying that he doesn’t recognise the difference between psychological and physiological. That would make me judge.

If you are attending a job interview and you are keen to get the job, I would expect that you’d turn up on time, with an understanding of what the job requirements were and looking clean and tidy. That doesn’t mean wearing a three piece suit, or posh frock, although that might be appropriate. It means taken the opportunity seriously if you want to be successful.

I was a teacher my whole career. In some roles, I wore a grouse suit or skirt suit. Sometimes I wore a dress, sometimes a skirt and top. Sometimes I was very formal and sometimes more casual. None of that had any impact on my ability to teach. It was more that there were circumstances in which I wanted to present an initial impression.

We all judge, either consciously or subconsciously. Sometimes, we’re wrong.

Nice to know you are judging people who have more to worry about than their outfit. Your attitude stinks.

Oh my goodness, you really are against overweight people aren’t you, what a shame. I’ve always been able to keep up with my children who have always been incredibly sporty and fast. I was also heavily overweight at one point but I was also running, exercising and competing. My diet just wasn’t great and changing it made me lose weight. Much like it did my friend. I ‘keep up’ the same way I always used to. Clearly, it’s not something you would believe as you don’t respect overweight people. That’s your problem, not theirs. I just feel sorry that your child might grow up with that same attitude and miss out on relationships with some truly wonderful people. What’s really a shocker is that slim people can actually be rather unfit and are less able to ‘keep up’, I guess that, again, is not something you would ever believe!

Calm down

I don’t give a flying fig whether my nurse, dentist, friend or colleague is overweight

I DO care that my very active 4 year old is in the care of someone who is not obese and therefore would struggle to chase him down at full pelt

That’s the thing, you refuse to believe an overweight person would be able to chase him down. Why do you think a slim person would be able to? Essentially you take people at face value on how they look and make assumptions. Funny that you consider an overweight nurse, who will be on their feet all day, to be ok considering they may be giving people very active care and life saving treatment.

When I was a size 10, it was because my metabolism worked well, rather than because I was fit enough to run fast.

I'm not longer a size 10 but I can definitely move quicker than I used to.