To think it’s fair to judge people on their appearance in certain situations?

[ThisQuickLemonPoster]

If someone shows up to a job interview in a stained hoodie or if a teacher is overweight and unkempt, it does affect how seriously I take them. AIBU to think “don’t judge a book by its cover” only goes so far?

I'm an overweight teacher. I'm losing weight but, on my current trajectory if a healthy 1-2 lbs a week, it's going to take me a couple of years. What precisely would you like me to do in this situation? I'm a bloody good teacher though, but it seems that isn't enough and I've already been judged.

On a different note, as somebody who is very overweight, it is much harder to look polished unless you go designer. Clothes just don't hang right, including those in plus sizes. Extremely annoying.

Unfortunately by bringing weight into this you’ve undermined your point.

But yes, there certainly are situations where looking a mess isn’t acceptable.

While I agree with your point that’s nothing to do with being uneducated.

If someone is overweight then that’s nothing to judge on. However, I do think being a teacher is a professional job and they should be dressed accordingly.

A physiological or psychological advantage?

This. I would 100% judge someone who seemed to make no effort to appear professional and kept but weight has nothing to do with anything!!

The only really important things are cleanliness and hygiene. All other things i am ok with. The best, most capable and decent teacher my son ever had was/is significantly overweight. He is fantastic. I don't give a shit about his size. If he really smelled bad, that would however influence my liking. That's a natural human reaction to hygiene issues.

I'm more concerned with people who are too focused on size/being slim, or more scarily, an unhealthy draw towards this Botox, filler shite.

Someone wearing a hoodie to an interview- I'd be very curious regarding their intent. It's standard to know one should dress smart in a particular style. So in this scenario I would question what was going through their mind.

You might have just willingly missed out on someone great there if he was borderline successful but you declined him because of his appearance.

And he might not have been wearing polished shoes, but he might know the difference between physiological and psychological.

Overweight= looks like a tramp.

you're a right charmer

Absolutely. They didn't need to impress anyone - unlike somebody going for a job interview!

I'm fairly sure your aristos brushed up very smart for formal events.

Most of the teachers where I work are in trackies, trainers and polo shirts, because we work with small children who are fast and messy. We do outdoor learning daily, daily exercise etc, and no one wants to be shlepping through the woods in heels and a skirt.

Funnily enough, it has no impact on our ability to teach maths and English.

One of the most amazing teachers I know is overweight. It doesn’t affect her ability to be a fun and respected teacher with a wealth of knowledge about her subject.

I expect the overweight teacher is judging

It’s interesting that the OP words were “overweight and unkempt” presumably a person who was smart but overweight wouldn’t be judged in the same way.

I am very judgy on first impressions, then adjust accordingly as I interact with people. Am liable to be both late and scruffy myself so I am sure I get judged too. It’s just human isn’t it to assess people as well as we can on any available information?

Dirty hoodie in an interview . ..yes. because you'd hope they'd be trying to make their best impression.

Being overweight or unkempt as a teacher...no. being over weight doesn't stop you being a great teacher and nor does being a little frazzled looking after a day of dealing with 30 or more kids

Of course people should look clean and tidy if they want to be taken seriously. Their weight has nothing to do with this and it’s a shame that you have linked weight to being unkempt.

Before I became disabled I was a very high flying marketing manager and I wore very smart clothes every day and I would have judged others as you have in your first post - I’m embarrassed to say. Now I understand that a lot of people like me struggle to wash themselves or their clothes because of either physical ability to do so or lack of financial means to pay others to do it for them (and with the coming PIP cuts it will get worse). I have incontinence issues and I’m very aware that I often don’t look or smell as fresh as I could do, which is absolutely mortifying considering what I used to be like.

It’s a cliche but be kind, always.

Do you have children OP?

You're in the wrong job if you're judging people when they're grieving be cause they don't have trousers that you deem good enough.

Everyone judges everyone else, it's a fact

@Jabberwok Personally I like to make sure I am the best dressed man in the room as it gives me a physiological edge in business situations. I look wealthy (most clothes bought from charity shops) and confident.

I realise one should look smart carrying a coffin, or when one is flogging the more expensive coffin, or whatever you do, but I think the edge is pushing it, surely most of your cohort throw on a dark suit.

I presume you mean psychological not physiological

I suppose the only time weight might come into it is if they were promoting a diet 🤔 because clearly it didn't work for you why would it work for me?

But that's only a might because they might have started heavier might have just had a baby etc etc

Everyone seems to be equating being unkempt with being frazzled and it just.. isn’t the same thing

I agree with most posters that overweight and unkempt are not the same thing . some of my best teachers at school were what some may call unkempt depending on your definition of it - messy hair, crumpled clothes - but they were clean,didn’t smell bad and more importantly kind and good at their job! It was a private school and not one person - that I’m aware of - cared about their appearance.

OPs views is very common though even if people don’t quite say it aloud, they often associate being overweight with being scruffy or untidy hence I know many larger ladies who put a lot more into their appearance than they would otherwise to try and defy that perception.

I wouldn't judge an overweight teacher, or one that maybe dressed quite eclectically. But if they, or anyone in a position where they need to be taken seriously, were dirty, unwashed, etc, then yes.

I would judge a properly overweight personal trainer though.