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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it’s fair to judge people on their appearance in certain situations?

232 replies

ThisQuickLemonPoster · 11/04/2025 19:20

If someone shows up to a job interview in a stained hoodie or if a teacher is overweight and unkempt, it does affect how seriously I take them. AIBU to think “don’t judge a book by its cover” only goes so far?

OP posts:
StrangerThings1 · 13/04/2025 18:33

SergeantDawkins · 13/04/2025 18:23

I’m going to stop interacting with you now because all your information and opinions are just embarrassingly old fashioned, massively outdated.

You can’t tell if someone is a “healthy overweight” - that is a term you just invented to justify judging a person’s body based on absolutely nothing but your own opinion.

What I’m saying is factually correct and you are well aware of that

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 13/04/2025 18:38

StrangerThings1 · 13/04/2025 18:33

What I’m saying is factually correct and you are well aware of that

Even you can't think that given you've said both these things:

Depends on how overweight they were and if they looked like a healthy overweight or not.

And:

Being overweight is never healthy.

You can't use the term healthy overweight, say it's never healthy to be overweight and then say you're being factually correct, because they contradict one another and so cannot both be facts.

These are your own words and yet you think you are the one making sense.

StrangerThings1 · 13/04/2025 18:42

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 13/04/2025 18:38

Even you can't think that given you've said both these things:

Depends on how overweight they were and if they looked like a healthy overweight or not.

And:

Being overweight is never healthy.

You can't use the term healthy overweight, say it's never healthy to be overweight and then say you're being factually correct, because they contradict one another and so cannot both be facts.

These are your own words and yet you think you are the one making sense.

But I suppose you think you can be overweight and healthy at the same time, I’m sure many medics would disagree with you, as I said previously if you are overweight you are putting unnecessary pressure on your internal organs and skeletal frame so you are therefore damaging your body
A damaged body = an unhealthy body

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 13/04/2025 18:48

StrangerThings1 · 13/04/2025 18:42

But I suppose you think you can be overweight and healthy at the same time, I’m sure many medics would disagree with you, as I said previously if you are overweight you are putting unnecessary pressure on your internal organs and skeletal frame so you are therefore damaging your body
A damaged body = an unhealthy body

YOU said the phrase "healthy overweight". Not me.

XenoBitch · 13/04/2025 19:20

StrangerThings1 · 13/04/2025 18:42

But I suppose you think you can be overweight and healthy at the same time, I’m sure many medics would disagree with you, as I said previously if you are overweight you are putting unnecessary pressure on your internal organs and skeletal frame so you are therefore damaging your body
A damaged body = an unhealthy body

What is overweight based on? BMI? You can be 0.1 into the overweight category and your weight be deemed unhealthy?
For years, I was on the border of normal and overweight BMI. I was healthy. I just had wide hips and a big arse. My BMI changed category weekly.
I though a BMI of 40+ was considered morbidly obese... as in there will be co-morbid conditions due to the weight. Someone just into the overweight category wont suddenly be unhealthy.

SquashedSquid · 13/04/2025 19:20

fuckingangrybirdbrows · 13/04/2025 17:58

Entirely depends on what the job is. Looking after pre-schoolers - probably an issue.

So all my qualifications in education (first degree, master's, Doctorate) and my 25+ years of experience wouldn't matter to you, because I'm fat? How shallow.

I'm assuming you'd think the same about my wheelchair, then.

PinkArt · 13/04/2025 20:00

SergeantDawkins · 13/04/2025 14:15

You can’t judge how healthy someone is by looking at them. You literally can’t.

Exactly. I had my 40+ MOT when I was morbidly obese. The only issue from all those tests was a deficiency in a couple of vitamins, resolved with supplements. In contrast the only major health scare in my life was a pulmonary embolism when I was a healthy BMI. I looked healthy, but had been walking around at risk of a stroke or heart attack and was becoming out of breath just walking through to the kitchen.
Yes obesity does often have health implications but it is never, ever as simple as fatties are ticking health bombs and thin people are glowing with health.

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