Gender and pronouns

[Wyki]

Before I start, the daily mail and other papers can all fuck off

I’m prepared to be flamed for this as I’ve been here long enough to know how it all works but….

aibu to tell my son he can’t have his partner over any more

It’s a new relationship. My son is 21 and the new partner is 18

He barely works and is consequently on a low salary however he does help me with childcare (that I pay a minimal amount for)

the new partner is a very petite pink haired “girl” that does ballet and dance but uses the pronoun he/him

my 11 year old daughter is finding it confusing and asked if her brother is gay. I replied with “no because the partner is very feminine and is a girl despite the pronouns” (I couldn’t care less if he was gay, sexuality isn’t important)

So am I being unreasonable in saying the partner doesn’t come over as it’s just too weird and I don’t want that example being set for my daughter

It is confusing even reading OP. So your Son's partner is a male that looks like a woman?

I don't see any need to be rude but OP has every right to speak to her Son about this. We could debate all day long... about what each of us do in our own homes. Personally I wouldn't want it full stop! However I wouldn't be disrespectful about it.

No. It’s a teenage girl who uses “he/him” pronouns and wants to pretend she’s a boy.

Yeah I was confused as clearly OP disagrees with them using “he / him” pronouns but then also uses quotations for “girl”.

I wasn’t sure if it was a trans man, a feminine man, non binary or something else entirely!

@ChessorBuckarooi think you’ll find that mn is actually representative of attitudes across the wider UK re stance on transgender issues

Have you not read the thread?

The partner looks like a woman because she is a woman (boobs, vagina, pink hair). The partner wants to be referred to as a he/him

@Belfastbard thank you for clarifying. Oh no i definitely wouldn't want this in my house. I mean some would question why OPs Son is happy with this it's a bit odd really.

I wouldn’t ban the girl from my house. But I’d be making it plain to my son that I will not be using wrong sex pronouns nor encouraging my younger children to do so. It’s up to him as a 21 year old adult to think critically about how he identifies as straight, but is also with someone he purports to believe is male. The two don’t tally.

Oh well pink hair- that settles it 😂😂.

Also why the fuck have you seen your son’s partner’s vagina?!

It's interesting the way people set their own boundaries on this issue, yet object when others set theirs.

Your son doesn't believe he is gay, So at some point he doesn't buy into his girlfriend being a 'he'. Yet he wants you all to play along with the illusion all the same. And objects when you want to set your boundaries. The whole thing is an illogical mess.

If you want to alienate your child for no other reason than their partner being gender non-conforming then go right ahead. The consequences might be something you don’t like though.

@Wyki yes I've read your updates OP. Don't forget I'm just reading it and I was confused. Writing "she looks like a girl". That's where I and others were confused.

Don't you feel its odd on your Son's part?.

That's a bit rose tinted though.....

Why is OPs Son happy to call his girlfriend he/him when they aren't that!.

Tis OK tandora. Women don't need to see a woman's vagina or genitals to accurately sex someone. We're very good at identifying the difference between the two sexes - wired into us after centuries of MVAWG and of course being the sex that gestates and births the babies. 😂

I don’t think pink hair is relevant to womanhood!

Are they?

https://www.thepinknews.com/2018/10/27/jessica-walton-lesbian-bathroom-discrimination/

https://inews.co.uk/news/uk/butch-lesbian-public-toilet-women-abuse-government-review-gender-neutral-facilities-833787?srsltid=AfmBOorouS5sTMJW-wQ_sPLYcKd6xJYMTbwtQljfiYcrTeXIEXenjnvB

(And lets not forget the sheer number of people, including women, who remain convinced Michelle Obama is a man….)

I’d imagine because OPs son sees them as a he/him or doesn’t really care what pronouns a person uses as it’s not a big deal to him.
One of my kids is gender non-conforming and lots of my kids’ friends are also, they just don’t view what pronouns a person uses the same as we as older people do. As a whole that generation are just willing to call people whatever they want to be called and don’t think about it any more deeply than that.

Nonsense. I have been misgendered by women numerous times. All you have to do is defend the rights of trans people to live their lives and people think I must be trans.

@TheoriginalEmu no disrespect but that isn't what OPs sees at all hence OPs own description of HER. Just because that's your experience and that's what you are around. I don't see why we all should conform to that. It would be like my husband calling me (as a woman) he....

The generation we live in lacks boundaries and a general line being drawn I find.

Nobody genuinely believes Michelle Obama is a man. They say it purely to insult her. And the insult only works because they know she’s a woman .

I used to think that too. Until I met people who are politically aligned with the Democrats, and yet, apparently reluctantly “came to the conclusion it’s true”.

And then of course the constant accusations of trans women “tricking people”. Which makes no sense. If everybody can tell how is anybody tricked and why are butch lesbians being challenged in women’s bathrooms?

I have not been misgendered as an adult (not deliberately) but holy fuck did I used to be as a child. I was miffed! 😂

One of my butch lesbian friends says that she frequently gets "misgendered" but it doesn't bother her. As soon as she opens her mouth, people know she's a woman.

Butch lesbians probably get challenged in women's toilets more than they used to because women are so aware now that men pretending to be women get a kick out of using our spaces.

20 years ago, if someone saw a butch lesbian going into the women's toilets, they would have clocked her as a gender nonconforming woman and not thought any more of it.

That's a Stonewall employee claiming to be repeatedly misgendered. That's the organisation working to remove the word woman from all policies cos it's phobic and who call lesbians refusing to have sex with men claiming to be lesbians "sexual racists".

And reported in the comic Pink News 😂

Butch lesbians are being challenged because women have heightened levels of fear now around the idea of men being in their single sex spaces under the guise of being “women”. In the immediacy of having that initial fear response it’s easy to see why the default becomes to challenge the person. React first rather than take extra time to assess the situation is common when fear and anxiety is heightened

trans women do not transition because they want to use women’s toilets. What a load of shit.