Would you do this or is it morally a shit thing to do?

[Juaal]

I really can’t work out what is best here.

Context is I’ve been employed several years in a job I enjoy. A new senior man joined and since his arrival he has been increasingly unpleasant towards me, making some small comments about being a mum and saying he didn’t think I had much character about me.

It got to the point where I had to tell HR and they said this was serious and to formally raise it if I wanted to. I’ve since contacted a lawyer for some initial advice and they’ve said there’s a high chance I could get a settlement of a few months pay. I’ve recently got through to the final rounds of 4 separate interview processes. I want to leave my company now as I just don’t see a a future.

here’s the thing. If I blow things up and send in my formal complaint which I have already prepared, then I could end up with around 25k payout (based on salary and expected months settlement). But, as awful as this man has been, and he really has, I don’t know if he is actually very good at his job. He seems to have a lot of personal problems and I wonder if it would be morally wrong to put him through this complaint. However, friends have said that’s ridiculous as he’s been happy to make my life miserable and push me out of of a job, so why do I care about him. I could also do with the money. And it is true he has pushed me to interview elsewhere. What would you do?

100% this! ⬆️

I put in a formal grievance against my ex boss and he got the sack. I'm so glad I did. I don't care why he was doing xyz, he was horrible and made me suicidal. Highly recommend going formal.

Make the complaint. Life's too short to be made miserable by an arsehole at work. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

You are wanting to put a complaint in order to get 25 grand compensation!?? Thats drastic,tells me what tyoe of a person you are, karma

I don't even understand, at all, why this would be immoral. I honestly don't. Can you explain your logic?

Obviously, whether you want to go through the hassle and stress of legal action is another matter, but that's up to you.

Put in the complaint! Teach him a lesson and use that money to move to a better job . There is nothing immoral about it . Nothing at all . In fact it would be immoral to let him get away with it

I’d bet a considerable amount that the OP won’t be getting any payout.

Add a paragraph into your grievance:

*You understand being the subject of a complaint is stressful
*You are aware in general terms of him experiencing difficulties in his personal life
*Notwithstanding his difficulties, his behaviour cannot be tolerated and could affect others so you consider it unfortunately necessary to pursue the complaint.
*You expect HR to deal with your grievance professionally, including providing him with suitable support to avoid harm coming to him (it being known that in some fields that being complained about is a suicide risk).

well that lawyer is talking rubbish no company would rush to offer x amount

I didn’t really understand your polling options so I clicked YABU. What I mean is YABU to not put the complaint in. He’s being an arsehole and he deserves to be pulled up on it.

He's a nasty bully regardless of any personal problems he may have. Pursuing a high level completely against him will hopefully make him think twice about bullying people in the future.

This!

Go for it. He's responsible for his actions, maybe putting him through thus will stop him doing it to someonexelse. Fingers crossed for a good payout.

Absolutely put in a complaint. What if he does it to someone else? Let him receive the consequences for his actions.

Why should you be the one to move on? He's the one who created the problem.

Make the complaint, he could move on to making someone else’s life miserable when you leave. He deserves to pay for his behaviour, nobody should be bullied at work, or anywhere tbf.

@Juaal I don't understand why you even want to consider his feelings

At first I thought you were going to say you expect him to be sacked because he's not good at his job - and that would enable you to stay?

Sorry to say it, but are you sure he hasn't been asked to push you out? I'm not sure how high up you are, but I have seen this tactic before.

I agree that you could probably get a good settlement out of this.

I’d send the complaint. He doesn’t deserve your empathy

It is not likely that you would get a settlement based on what you have posted here. You have raised it with HR, they have taken it seriously and told you what you can do if you want to pursue it. Your employer hasn’t done anything wrong at this point, so there would be no reason for them to settle.

If you have a new job that you would like to go to, then do so. If you would like to make a formal complaint about this guy, then do so. But both decisions need to be made without the expectation of any settlement.

If it were me I’d probably take the new job, I wouldn’t bother with a formal complaint about this guy but I might mention in an exit interview that that was why I was leaving.

Would also suggest that if you need further legal advice, you get a better lawyer than the one you have spoken to so far, who has raised your hopes of a settlement when there are no grounds whatsoever.

Some businesses will settle, some won't. I had an employee on performance management, the process had got to the point they were about to be dismissed and the company decided to settle. The reason? As it was potential dismissal the meeting escalated to a senior manager and he was 'too busy' 🤨
If it was very high risk, HR would be starting an investigation whether you raised a formal grievance or not. Youve already raised allegations. As a pp said HR are there to protect the company and that usually means protecting employees from being unfairly treated, not as is often stated, defending the company and sweeping poor practices under the carpet.
Raise the complaint, it's the right thing to do

I disagree with 2 counts on this post.

in your performance example, there was a formal, documented issue which would make a protected conversation and settlement a viable solution. There isn’t in the OP’s case.

as for the issue being investigated, no grievance has been raised, so it’s not clear who the witnesses are or what os actually alleged. So what exactly would be investigated and how?

Depends on where she works . My company would offer a settlement and many others too in this sort of situation . Obviously it will depend on documentation , grievances raised etc .

If you feel it won’t stress you out too much then please do the formal complaint. Bullies don’t stop bullying, they just move onto the next victim. It would be very useful for whoever he picks on next if his treatment of you is formally recorded now. Don’t feel you have to if it would be difficult for you, you are not responsible for his future behaviour, but if you feel able it could honestly be really helpful to someone.

There is no grievance.

Just realised this . She can still raise one , maybe .