Boyfriend has just blocked me

[Namechange2609]

Oh god help please..

my boyfriend of 7 months has just blocked me and ended our relationship based on the fact that this morning he whatsapped me to go and shut the kitchen window whilst he was in the shower. The message didn’t pop up on my phone (must of been signal). He came into the room to say did you not get my message? I said no and I went onto WhatsApp and his message popped up.

he has blocked me because he thinks I turned my notifications off because I must be speaking to other men. He also gave me the silent treatment all day and night and I had no idea why until a couple of hours ago.

i do not deserve this and it’s absolutely disgusting but obviously I’m hurt and taken back and need some tough love!

All the little 🚩 will eventually lead to the big one which drives these behaviours. You see what he is - block & walk away. He will likely try to return to see if you are available.

What concerns me though is you are talking about him in present tense. “He does this…” “he calls me a slag”

Change your mindset immediately “he DID this… “he would call me a slag”

It seems silly but it helps.

Think about you doing that to someone- sending them a text message to close a window. Don't you see that it's disrespectful, controlling, rude?

I disagree. It’s fucking rude to text you demanding you do something that he’s quite capable of doing himself. Let the lazy fucker close his own window

The question you need to be asking yourself is why you didn't dump him at the first instance of abusive behaviour.

Good grief you’ve had a lucky escape.

And how many women willingly engage in relationships with them. To the detriment of their own lives and their children’s.

You’re better off without someone so ridiculous.

Tell that lazy arsed fuckwit to take a walk down fuck off park, which is just off fuck off lane in fuck offs ville.
bipolar or not no excuses
is he unmedicated or self diagnosed there’s a massive difference
if he is actually diagnosed and not taking meds then he is not accepting it and will never change it will always be your fault. It gets worse.
have current experience of this but thankfully is now correctly medicated

Reading all your updates, he’s an abusive cunt who has find you a favour by blocking you. He’s shown you what a controlling POS he is - believe him.

Dont give him headspace while you’re with your DC - that’s what he wants, you pining for him and not concentrating on them.

He’s gone - keep it that way. If he tries to contact you again, ignore. Don’t waste another minute of your life on this prick.

You are so lucky that HE ended it. Otherwise he would not have let you go and it would have been so hard for you because he would have ratcheted up the gaslighting and abuse in order to keep and control you. If I was you I would do something today to celebrate your freedom. Congratulations!!

Goodness, another absolute moron. Please do not take this one back.

Abusive people are so clever that you usually don’t notice it at first. The first instance of abuse is often lovebombing.

Dear God you're lucky he did this.

Atm you're in a sort of shock and I bet he's conditioned you to accept this behaviour. Please keep in mind that your emotions take time to change and will be all over the shop for a bit, including wanting to get back with this PoS. The good times were the sweetener to get you to swallow poison.

Anyone else’s heart drop when they read the OP has children?

He will be back and, as you've taken him back before even in the face of these terrible things, you must be very strong.

He will eventually kill you. Imagine that. You will leave your children without a mother because you were so desperate for a man, any man, that you were prepared to accept behaviour that a pig wouldn't accept and that eventually caused your death.

One woman is killed in domestic abuse in England and Wales every five days. Do you think those men announced their intention to kill these women? No, they built up to it.

Some men are subtle about it, hide their murderous intentions and take a long time to murder . Others can't help but show the signs early on. You are lucky. He has shown the signs early and you can react by saving yourself. Other women don't always get that chance.

Imagine your photo in the paper, with details of his court case for murdering you going on and the piece including a quote from someone close to you saying that they never trusted him, that you didn't deserve it and that they feel sorry for your children.

Have a rest from men. You've had an 11 year relationship, which wasn't good and here you are about to do another 11 years with a shit.

You have your children. Concentrate on them. Give yourself 100% to them and when they're reared and gone, that's your time to look for someone decent.

I worry you will take this abuser back and I implore you not to do so.

Every single one of these threads, they always have kids and yet jump through hoops to please a controlling abusive twat of a man.

3 months ago you posted very similar thread about this vile man and was given same advice

and yet here you are….

It’s tragic isn’t it

and then these children will grow up watching their mother repeatedly prioritise boyfriends over them and think that’s what you do in life

and so the pattern will never change

@Namechange2609 - as PP have said, he will likely try to come back. You need to keep him gone. He sounds vile. Given the abusive behaviour you have described in just 7 months together, it is hard to understand how you could ever have regarded him as meeting any needs of yours even if he was periodically nice between all that cruelty and meanness. In fact, it’s quite troubling. It sounds like you’ve had a tricky time in relationships so hopefully you can use this as an opportunity to work on valuing yourself and on your boundaries. Some therapy may be helpful. Your children need you to value yourself and choose only healthy relationships.

This was my fear.

If he is like this now at just 7 months into the relationship think what it will be like in 7 years

Hold on a minute on the text asking to close a window. The rest of it is super shitty and I agree with everyone warning op to run for the hills, however let's not be ridiculous. I'm not saying this is the way it happened for op but if my OH is naked and about to get in the shower and I'm in the kitchen... a polite request to close the window is not only fine but I'm happy to do it for him. I think pps reactions to this are over the top. In healthy relationships we push and pull together and taken in isolation, that text is nowhere near the level of the other shit he pulls.

This.

Red flags. Controlling. Do not get back with him. Do not apologise. You have done nothing wrong.

Protect your children from the effects on you of this nasty, controlling bully.
Put them first and you will be doing yourself a favour.

All you need to do is block him, and be determined never to let him back into your life. You are better off single than being tied to this excuse of a freak human.

If you can do that, then we will all celebrate with you!