Boyfriend has just blocked me

[Namechange2609]

Oh god help please..

my boyfriend of 7 months has just blocked me and ended our relationship based on the fact that this morning he whatsapped me to go and shut the kitchen window whilst he was in the shower. The message didn’t pop up on my phone (must of been signal). He came into the room to say did you not get my message? I said no and I went onto WhatsApp and his message popped up.

he has blocked me because he thinks I turned my notifications off because I must be speaking to other men. He also gave me the silent treatment all day and night and I had no idea why until a couple of hours ago.

i do not deserve this and it’s absolutely disgusting but obviously I’m hurt and taken back and need some tough love!

@Namechange2609 he sounds just like my ex. I've only just read all of your posts on the thread and it chilled me how similar he sounds. The crazy making, the name calling, withholding of attention, randomly seeming to be disgusted by you, unpredictable anger and mood changes - all mixed up with intense love bombing. I can understand why you did the Clare's Law - sometimes you need the validation that you're not just crazy and imagining things. Especially when you've had someone making you feel crazy for months.

Well done for leaving. As wild as it might seem from the outside, it's not easy.

I really recommend this book: https://amzn.eu/d/hb5csdR. I was single for a couple of years after my crazy relationship, I found a good therapist, worked on my self confidence and boundaries, gave myself time to reset. I'm a different person now, many years on and I'm in a happy, healthy relationship. I did need a lot of time on my own to break that cycle though. It's hard work.

Good luck and well done for recognising you deserve better ❤️

He sounds like a manipulative narcissist.

Silent treatments are a form of emotional abuse. They are a manipulation tactic to "punish" the other person whilst deflecting all blame from themselves. It's also a control tactic.

Block him right back and move on with your life immediately. You should not want him as your boyfriend or in your life at all if he reacts this way over you not seeing a text.

If you stay with him, you will walk on eggshells for the rest of your life.

OMG lucky escape!!
Has he been convicted for DV

Haha...what a twat....but really you just block him from your life FOREVER.....I expect you are young....but there will a special person for you soon....who hopefully sore grown up x

Been here. He’ll be back on his best behaviour once he sees you’re not pandering to him. Do NOT fall for it. 7 months is nothing, I wasted 7 miserable years. He’s showing you who he is.

Came on to say exactly this.

Well done for leaving and well done for submitting the request

Op please please do yourself a favour and stay well.away from this man. You need to get yourself into a place where you don't care what he says or thinks and fast for the sake of your children. Read the Freedom programme book as you will recognise him. You will never be happy with him if you stay. Don't waste a second of your precious life on him

Thanks everyone

i have started therapy again with someone I have seen for many years to process the abuse and also to ensure I do not fall into this pattern again. I feel strong in a sense I am well aware of red flags and my boundaries, but I still need to hold myself accountable with therapy.

ps I’m so sorry to hear of others in awful situations and for much longer than I was (not dismissing anyone who wasn’t in abuse long term as abuse is abuse) but I’m glad it was only 7 months of my time wasted

Don’t get stuck with this one

I’m glad you’re out and have enough information to know not to go back.
Most of us get sucked back in at least once by apologies, promises of change and excuses, protestations of love and ( crocodile) tears of remorse. We remember the good times and think we can get them back and no one is perfect. Plus some were raised in homes that normalised a lot of the behaviours so have blurry boundaries.

I wasted 13 years and still have one recurring nightmare that I’m trying to drive down the road to the electric gates as he’s trying to shut them to prevent me from leaving.
Will I get out before they close too far? I never find out. I did in real life, obviously, but the dream feels so real.

I doubt he is to be found on any register so I’m extra glad for you that your ex has a history noted. My best wishes to you for a happier future, armed with the experience and the wisdom you have gained. Don’t ever hold yourself ‘accountable’. None of it is your fault. You held your boundary and left. It was all down to him.

Thank Goodness you've used Claire's Law on him and it gives you more knowledge and definitive proof that you need to stay well away from this vile human being.

Stay strong x

I'd be thanking him for opening your eyes! Just as well you didn't open the window.

Sorry for your update. He did you a favour dropping his mask quickly

Well done in the end.

This site is a parenting advice forum - not daily entertainment. If you really think this particular thread is for your entertainment then you’re really quite sad. Grow up.

Same here!

That is so good to hear. I hope you find your way to healing and thriving. With courage and consistency you will get there, I am rooting for you.
I have repeated the patterns of getting in abusive relationships over and over for many years until I began to understand my developmental trauma. From there I have been healing and transformed my life completely including having an amazing relationship that has been great every single day for many years now.
You deserve love respect and a true partnership and that will come once you break the old patterns.
My very best wishes to you.

Well done for getting rid of this awful man.

How are you doing now?

I am drained. The disclosure has really hit me - he’s not who I thought he was. Well I always knew there was another version of him it was very jeckyle and Hyde but to be told about his history (he went to prison for them) shocked me to the core.

Gosh, what a shock! Be kind to yourself. You have been the victim of a nasty abusive man, it’s going to take you a while to heal.

One big positive to take away from this situation is that you saw through him long before you had the actual evidence in front of you. Your instincts were absolutely right. Well done for trusting your instincts to protect yourself. You’re getting stronger. Be proud of how far you’ve come.

Thank goodness for Claire’s Law. I’m actually sure the family who campaigned to have this in place, would be so pleased to hear how it has literally saved you.

How sensible of you to check him out on Claire’s - well done! Onwards and upwards!

I hate to do this but it struck a chord with me on a thread a while ago. It’s Clare’s Law. Someone pointed out the importance of the spelling due to the nature of this Law coming about following the awful death of Clare Wood by her abusive ex partner.

I’m not able to edit my comment, but thank you @Whattodo1610 for calling this out. I’ll correctly honour Clare Wood’s legacy from this day forward.