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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend has just blocked me

477 replies

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 01:44

Oh god help please..

my boyfriend of 7 months has just blocked me and ended our relationship based on the fact that this morning he whatsapped me to go and shut the kitchen window whilst he was in the shower. The message didn’t pop up on my phone (must of been signal). He came into the room to say did you not get my message? I said no and I went onto WhatsApp and his message popped up.

he has blocked me because he thinks I turned my notifications off because I must be speaking to other men. He also gave me the silent treatment all day and night and I had no idea why until a couple of hours ago.

i do not deserve this and it’s absolutely disgusting but obviously I’m hurt and taken back and need some tough love!

OP posts:
MoreChocPls · 09/04/2025 04:56

Never talk to him again.

Bananalanacake · 09/04/2025 05:36

After only 7 months I hope he doesn't live with you. Don't let him back in your home. Does he have a key

BlondiePortz · 09/04/2025 05:39

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 01:49

I know, it’s still very upsetting but my goodness the lack of respect! The insecurity!

Show quote history

What insecurity? about him being a moron, you need really do need therapy if he genuinley makes you feel insecure

CandidRaven · 09/04/2025 05:41

He's done you a favour showing his true colours so you can move on quicker, would you want to be with someone like that long term? I know I wouldn't, if he can be like that so early into the relationship imagine what he'll become further down the road

beAsensible1 · 09/04/2025 05:44

Massive red flag. Thank god he got rid of himself. Do not let him come back he will eventually try to turn you into a low self esteem paranoid wreck if you do.

ZekeZeke · 09/04/2025 05:51

Sodthesystem · 09/04/2025 02:41

He'll be back. This is just another punishment designed to f with your head.

Change your number and change your locks asap

💯 this. He will be back, probably blame you again or make excuses about why he did/said what he did.
Don't fall for it. He has issues. You cannot fix him.

roundandroundthegarden123 · 09/04/2025 05:55

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 02:12

I did always think he was abusive in his ways so I absolutely know this is for the best. This isn’t the first time he’s falsely accused me of something and quite literally made me prove myself over something I haven’t done but this is the first time he’s blocked me

im almost feeling a little sense of relief. I am hurt but I know il be ok. He was awful at communicating with me, and would often call me a cunt during minor arguments and become quite aggressive. This morning before I saw his message he said to me “are you dumb or what”

i need to write all this down to hold myself accountable for when he potentially tries to pull me back in. He’s getting the block button back

And he will try and pull you back and make you think you are lucky to have another chance given your appalling behaviour. Many women experience being ‘dumped’ ‘thrown out the house’ and ‘blocked’ as part of the coercive control they experience. They are made to feel ashamed and question themselves though the constant gas lighting. His goal he wasn’t to dump you it was to teach you a lesson - you can’t speak to other men (will be anyone soon including your family as they will poison you too) - you need to respond instantly to his demands (or there are consequences). Google coercive control

isthismylifenow · 09/04/2025 05:56

I think you need to have some time being single OP. If you came out or a long unhappy relationship and straight into this one, when did you process everything?

Block his ass right back on every available means. He WILL try get in touch again as he blocked you to punish you for not doing as he wanted.

And then take some time for you. And your DC. And don't look to date anyone for a good while.

He picked up you were vulnerable and so will someone else if you allow it.

It may not seem like it now, but this is really for the best.

historyrepeatz · 09/04/2025 05:58

I agree with pp’s, he’s shown you who he is and he will unblock and expect you to fall over yourself for him. If he has a key I would change the locks.

JustMyView13 · 09/04/2025 06:02

When they show you who they really are, believe them.

The mask has slipped, just 7 months in.

autisticbookworm · 09/04/2025 06:10

Sadly op he will come back when he thinks you have been taught a lesson. Walk away now and don’t look back, you ar better off alone.

Notmyrealname22 · 09/04/2025 06:11

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 02:12

I did always think he was abusive in his ways so I absolutely know this is for the best. This isn’t the first time he’s falsely accused me of something and quite literally made me prove myself over something I haven’t done but this is the first time he’s blocked me

im almost feeling a little sense of relief. I am hurt but I know il be ok. He was awful at communicating with me, and would often call me a cunt during minor arguments and become quite aggressive. This morning before I saw his message he said to me “are you dumb or what”

i need to write all this down to hold myself accountable for when he potentially tries to pull me back in. He’s getting the block button back

Wow… all this after 7 months. This is your escape parachute, please use it to get yourself out of this abusive relationship. Imagine what he would do if he thought you were vulnerable and dependent on him, like if you had his children or were tied together through marriage or debt. He will only escalate from here.

You deserve better than this and you know it. Please, please take care of yourself and let this be the last time he abuses you.

user1492757084 · 09/04/2025 06:13

Now you know the truth; you can leave the window open and throw him right out of your life for good.

DaisyDooordont · 09/04/2025 06:14

In my experience of men like this, you’ll be unblocked soon. Then the gaslighting will start. And the attempts to control will peak.
Please block him and don’t allow him to re-enter your life.

Original poster
Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 06:17

BlondiePortz · 09/04/2025 05:39

What insecurity? about him being a moron, you need really do need therapy if he genuinley makes you feel insecure

Show quote history

No as in the insecurity from him, not me

OP posts:
BlondiePortz · 09/04/2025 06:20

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 06:17

No as in the insecurity from him, not me

Show quote history

Then move on from him

BurgundyZero · 09/04/2025 06:24

Focus on your children.

TimeForATerf · 09/04/2025 06:27

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 02:26

i know what you mean. There wasn’t anything wrong with texting me to close the window but the way he responded when I didn’t do it wasn’t ok, and then because his message didn’t flag it’s been blown out of proportion

Show quote history

Really? I came on to say that even if you’d seen the message, on what planet is it ok for the lazy fucker to give you orders to do something by text that he could do himself. And you were ok with that?

partridgeinasweartree · 09/04/2025 06:28

Good lord. What a narrow escape! Please please mentally prepare yourself for the full on return of the love bombing, the sorry’s, the crying,, he will literally play every trick in the book because he’s a manipulative abuser. When it gets hard remember that you don’t ever want your children to hear you being called dumb or a cunt. By anyone. Ever.

Needapadlockonmyfridge · 09/04/2025 06:29

Lucky escape!

Keep him blocked :)

Original poster
Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 06:30

Well I cannot believe I’ve allowed this person to put me through even half of what he has done so far. I know I’ve been weak, and I know that the relationship would never be sustainable long term. As things got worse it did become easier to when he would threaten to break up with me but as he’s just love bombed me the last two weeks I’ve been sucked back in so I’m feeling pretty hurt.

He usually causes a big fight or drama week on week and it usually starts with him using the silent treatment on me and me not knowing why (and when I’m with my 2 DCs). He has subtly been putting me down, but never has any positives to say about me. He never apologizes for anything - everything and I mean everything is my fault. He watches me cry and ignores me or tells me to cuddle the dog as he’s good for cuddles, oh and he loves to withhold affection and love when I need it but really obviously give it to his dog for example I could be sat there crying and he will grab his dog turn over spoon him and start kissing him, telling him how much he loves his dog. It’s very strange and I know he’s trying to make me feel worthless at this point. he is bipolar, un medicated. Suffers with intrusive suicidal thoughts at night

he will often call me a slag, as a “joke”. When he wants sex it’s ok, when I want sex it’s “everything is about sex with you not everything is about sex”
he 100% has a porn addiction. He often hangs up on me mid conversation on the phone for no good reason, he’s rude. He never takes me out on dates, he never pays me a compliment, He cannot and will not communicate about any issues I have, everything is about him and his needs, everything is on his terms

I’d love to be able to give the examples for the horrible out of the blue arguments he’s started but my minds gone blank, but just know once in his kitchen I asked why he was clenching his fists. Oh two weekends ago, he started an argument with me when we woke up and then told me that I had ruined his day, I’ve ruined the entire day

the guy makes me feel bulldozed (only way to describe it) on another level. The constant put downs and tarnishing my character, cheating accusations make me feel like I’ve just been hit over by a giant bulldozer

wow I needed to get that rant off my chest! Well done if you got this far. Thank you for reading

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 06:31

TimeForATerf · 09/04/2025 06:27

Really? I came on to say that even if you’d seen the message, on what planet is it ok for the lazy fucker to give you orders to do something by text that he could do himself. And you were ok with that?

Show quote history

Oh I see. Well I’m all ok for sending a text asking me to close a window whilst he’s in the shower I don’t think that’s unreasonable but the way he asked me if I was dumb when I hadn’t.. not ok

OP posts:
Londonrach1 · 09/04/2025 06:33

Lucky escape op. .block him, change number and door key ... don't let rubbish in...

regista · 09/04/2025 06:35

What a lucky escape after 7 months not 7 years. He would have drained all life out of you OP/. Block him back and do not see him again ever.

SparklyGlitterballs · 09/04/2025 06:37

Oh wow, he's a real charmer! Make sure you have him blocked back on absolutely everything so he can't try sucking you back in. You have to be strong not just for yourself but for your DC. They don't need this shit in their lives. Please protect them.