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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend has just blocked me

477 replies

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 01:44

Oh god help please..

my boyfriend of 7 months has just blocked me and ended our relationship based on the fact that this morning he whatsapped me to go and shut the kitchen window whilst he was in the shower. The message didn’t pop up on my phone (must of been signal). He came into the room to say did you not get my message? I said no and I went onto WhatsApp and his message popped up.

he has blocked me because he thinks I turned my notifications off because I must be speaking to other men. He also gave me the silent treatment all day and night and I had no idea why until a couple of hours ago.

i do not deserve this and it’s absolutely disgusting but obviously I’m hurt and taken back and need some tough love!

OP posts:
RosaMoline · 09/04/2025 11:23

OP:
Final words of advice…
Call 101 and log this under coercive control with the police (just in case he turns up at your door)
If you block him, and he manages to contact you through some other channel, save any messages as evidence. I did advise you to say nothing previously, but you could say to him that you’ve spoken to the police and leave it at that. Maybe that’ll be enough to scare him off.
Lastly, have a break from relationships, work on yourself and your boundaries, have quality time with DC, and enjoy the peace.
Good Luck. Be strong. ♥️

11thofNever · 09/04/2025 11:24

I think you need to cop on OP. You have two DCs, you have been with this man for 7 months and he is making your life hell, he may not have met your DC but this relationship will be having an impact on them because you are their mother and preoccupied with this man and this toxic relationship. I hope to God you are using protection at the very least.
It's been 7 months, walk away, now and just be single...
Your children deserve better than their mother being in this horrible relationship.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 09/04/2025 11:33

It sounds like you’re seeing things clearly at last. May I gently suggest you don’t rush into any new relationships and take some time to find your confidence on your own first. And make sure you recognise the signs of love bombing in future.

photostoogood · 09/04/2025 11:47

Jesus what a nutter

EmeraldDreams73 · 09/04/2025 11:49

God, he's unhinged. Please make sure you block him right back and stay strong. None of this is remotely OK. Let the rubbish take itself out and please work on boundaries so you are never sucked in again by him or any other piece of shit that thinks it's acceptable to treat you this way. 💐

StrangerThings1 · 09/04/2025 12:00

Read all your comments, he sounds horrendous!

Just wondering why some women go from one abusive man to another and other women never seem to get caught up in this.

Im sure there are many reasons, low self worth, low self esteem, not assertive, willing to put up with anything, no boundaries but is it also because they possibly tell new partners that their previous relationship had been abusive therefore a new ( abusive) partner can tell from the outset that they are a walkover and will put up with al lot so they can potentially abuse them as well.

If a woman did not say she had been in an abusive relationship previously, new partners wouldn’t know that they would have potential to exercise their abusive powers

Honestly it’s every day on here that there is some poor woman posting about her horrendous (abusive) relationship and half way through her post she then also states that her previous relationship had also been abusive, it just seems to go on and on with some women, going from one abusive partner to the next

Im aware this post is going to possibly rattle some people but my main reason for writing it is to highlight / try and find out why it happens

ZekeZeke · 09/04/2025 12:06

OP why didn't you simply update your previous thread?
I've read through that, you were given advice, lots of it, you left and 2 months later you are back?
Please listen to what everyone is telling you.

AnticleaAndLaertes · 09/04/2025 12:08

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 02:12

I did always think he was abusive in his ways so I absolutely know this is for the best. This isn’t the first time he’s falsely accused me of something and quite literally made me prove myself over something I haven’t done but this is the first time he’s blocked me

im almost feeling a little sense of relief. I am hurt but I know il be ok. He was awful at communicating with me, and would often call me a cunt during minor arguments and become quite aggressive. This morning before I saw his message he said to me “are you dumb or what”

i need to write all this down to hold myself accountable for when he potentially tries to pull me back in. He’s getting the block button back

Come on! You know you deserve MUCH! better than this

Be relieved and thankful that the trash has taken itself out

JHound · 09/04/2025 12:09

You dodged a bullet like a Matrix agent.

You both also sound very young.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 09/04/2025 12:11

Block him back so that when he inevitably unblocks you you can't be contacted on your phone number or social media anymore.

Then when he inevitably finds some other means of contacting you, tell him you're not interested in having a relationship with a petulant teenager and not to try and contact you again.

If he tries to contact you again when you've told him not to, tell him that if there are any further attempts you will report him to the police for harassment.

Then forget about him and move on.

Whoarethoseguys · 09/04/2025 12:11

He sounds controlling amd life with him would be hell
You did the right thing. Walk away and don't look back. Just be grateful you found out now

BountifulPantry · 09/04/2025 12:29

Abusive and controlling behaviours that’s unacceptable.

Longleggedlinda · 09/04/2025 12:40

He’s insane, I have all my phone notifications on silent and offscreen and everyone knows this, so i come across a message when I do and it’s my decision to look at them it maybe just as they are wrote if I’m using my phone or it can be days before I see them, the phone is a tool for me to use not a tool to control me.

amber763 · 09/04/2025 12:42

What a child. Block him and don't unblock or look back! Fuck him and his weirdo reaction

ladyofshertonabbas · 09/04/2025 12:45

Big alarm bells there. It’s good that he’s given you an ‘out’ so easily.

LoveSandbanks · 09/04/2025 12:47

Remember, this is only 7 months in. This is him at his best, imagine how he’ll be after 17 months, 7 years.

Walk away and resolve to never let another man call you a cunt (or a slag etc). Realise your worth and raise your bar. You do not need a relationship to prove your worth and you certainly don’t need that arsehole.

DucklingSwimmingInstructress · 09/04/2025 12:57

He will be affecting your children.

The stress he puts you under will be having an effect and that will come out in your life, including with your children. Mothers with a bad boyfriend deny it because they don't want to face it, but it's true.

Sodthesystem · 09/04/2025 14:26

StrangerThings1 · 09/04/2025 12:00

Read all your comments, he sounds horrendous!

Just wondering why some women go from one abusive man to another and other women never seem to get caught up in this.

Im sure there are many reasons, low self worth, low self esteem, not assertive, willing to put up with anything, no boundaries but is it also because they possibly tell new partners that their previous relationship had been abusive therefore a new ( abusive) partner can tell from the outset that they are a walkover and will put up with al lot so they can potentially abuse them as well.

If a woman did not say she had been in an abusive relationship previously, new partners wouldn’t know that they would have potential to exercise their abusive powers

Honestly it’s every day on here that there is some poor woman posting about her horrendous (abusive) relationship and half way through her post she then also states that her previous relationship had also been abusive, it just seems to go on and on with some women, going from one abusive partner to the next

Im aware this post is going to possibly rattle some people but my main reason for writing it is to highlight / try and find out why it happens

I agree to some extent. Like it's very important not to mention prior relationships being abusive to people you are dating (just 'oh we weren't really compatible so decided to split' and refuse to go into any details).

But people who have been through abuse often have 'tells'. At least until they are healed. Perhaps things like over-apologising. Also, maybe being over accommodating to being messed about.

Abusers try their shit with everyone too. It's just you're more likely to keep them around long enough to continue their bs if its what you're used to tolerating.

Bibbiddiebopbiddiedooyeah · 09/04/2025 14:36

Be thankful it was only 7 months of your time and do not waste any more. Life is too short for the drama!x

Moanyoldmoan · 09/04/2025 14:39

Trust me it doesnt improve, i did 5 years with a man like this and the abuse and accusations, word salad and constant proving yourself only gets worse. Like you, he was a lot worse when i would need to be with my children, bombarding me with negativity and ludicrous attention seeking stories. My boundaries were weak, like yours, just out of a long relationship, vulnerable and I fell for the love bombing. I have been single for 2 years now working on myself and being the best parent i can be. Please dont take him back, I did numerous times and wish i hadnt. I have damaged myself for a long time because of it

DevonMum123 · 09/04/2025 14:45

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 02:12

I did always think he was abusive in his ways so I absolutely know this is for the best. This isn’t the first time he’s falsely accused me of something and quite literally made me prove myself over something I haven’t done but this is the first time he’s blocked me

im almost feeling a little sense of relief. I am hurt but I know il be ok. He was awful at communicating with me, and would often call me a cunt during minor arguments and become quite aggressive. This morning before I saw his message he said to me “are you dumb or what”

i need to write all this down to hold myself accountable for when he potentially tries to pull me back in. He’s getting the block button back

Omg that is absolutely shocking, how did you last this long with such a red flag arsehole?

Walk away, keep walking, get to the airport, hop on plane and celebrate the dodged bullet somewhere nice and sunny!
Thank god you are rid off him!

butterfly172 · 09/04/2025 14:47

Thank Goodness!…walk on, you’ve had a lucky escape

YesHonestly · 09/04/2025 14:52

I really think you might be dating my ex.

Please, please take every ounce of strength you have and block and delete his number because he will absolutely ruin your life.

The blocking to make you panic so you feel relieved when he comes back, the anxiety, the stress, the impact it has on your children because trust me, when he treats you like this you are anxious and pre-occupied and they pick up on it. No man is worth this. Do not chase him, do not go back. Decent men don’t do this shit.

TicklishMintDuck · 09/04/2025 14:54

Pure gaslighting. He sounds very manipulative. Six months is when people start to show their true colours. Enjoy your lucky escape!

GreenFields07 · 09/04/2025 14:58

Hes vile! Please dont let him back in. Concentrate on yourself and your DCs, you and them deserve much better than this. Your DCs should see you with someone who makes you happy and enriches your life, not makes you miserable and abuses you. Think of the advice you would give them if they were in your situation. Good luck x