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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boyfriend has just blocked me

477 replies

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 01:44

Oh god help please..

my boyfriend of 7 months has just blocked me and ended our relationship based on the fact that this morning he whatsapped me to go and shut the kitchen window whilst he was in the shower. The message didn’t pop up on my phone (must of been signal). He came into the room to say did you not get my message? I said no and I went onto WhatsApp and his message popped up.

he has blocked me because he thinks I turned my notifications off because I must be speaking to other men. He also gave me the silent treatment all day and night and I had no idea why until a couple of hours ago.

i do not deserve this and it’s absolutely disgusting but obviously I’m hurt and taken back and need some tough love!

OP posts:
graygoose · 09/04/2025 06:38

He will try to come crawling back, that's an absolute certainty. It's a classic cycle of narc abuse where he rejects you and then returns to you out of the goodness of his heart, it will never happen again etc etc.

Do not fall for it. Block, delete, move on. Otherwise this will be a destructive pattern in your life for years to come.

BitOutOfPractice · 09/04/2025 06:39

Don’t just block him, delete his number and block him. No temptation to unblock then.

He sounds absolutely despicable. And already Impacting on your relationship with your DC.

RampantIvy · 09/04/2025 06:41

And you put up with all of that for 7 months Shock

What a catch.

Please don't allow him into your life again. I hope he never met your children.

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 06:47

RampantIvy · 09/04/2025 06:41

And you put up with all of that for 7 months Shock

What a catch.

Please don't allow him into your life again. I hope he never met your children.

No he never met them. I don’t know why I put up with it and I’m angry with myself for allowing him to really suck me in good the last two weeks

oh last Monday he used the silent treatment on me for no reason, really upset me didn’t speak to me all day.. came Tuesday (April 1st) he thought sending me a break up message as an April fools would be funny! Even though he just knocked me down a million pegs

honestly the man gets worse

OP posts:
Dogaredabomb · 09/04/2025 06:54

Give yourself and your children the gift of being single.

RosaMoline · 09/04/2025 06:55

Use this as an opportunity to rid him out of your life permanently. Imagine not having to live with that horrible sick feeling in your stomach - I can only describe it as that ‘waking on eggshells’ feeling when trying to deal with someone like this. Concentrate on your DC & enjoy the peace. Please don’t take him back.

28Fluctuations · 09/04/2025 06:56

It's not ok that he sent you a text to close the window. Honestly, it's not. And that's before we start on anything else.

Has anyone mentioned The Freedom Programme? It could really help you construct better boundaries.

You sound lovely and I hope you have a relaxing, happy few days in the sunshine without the Twat ruining your day or week.

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 06:57

RosaMoline · 09/04/2025 06:55

Use this as an opportunity to rid him out of your life permanently. Imagine not having to live with that horrible sick feeling in your stomach - I can only describe it as that ‘waking on eggshells’ feeling when trying to deal with someone like this. Concentrate on your DC & enjoy the peace. Please don’t take him back.

Yes I know that feeling far too well unfortunately

I’d be surprised if he didn’t try to be back, this time it felt different but then again I’ve been here so many times before just without the block button. I cannot be with him he is not a good person, but like I said I also don’t feel he will be back

OP posts:
Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 06:58

28Fluctuations · 09/04/2025 06:56

It's not ok that he sent you a text to close the window. Honestly, it's not. And that's before we start on anything else.

Has anyone mentioned The Freedom Programme? It could really help you construct better boundaries.

You sound lovely and I hope you have a relaxing, happy few days in the sunshine without the Twat ruining your day or week.

Thank you - i have heard of the freedom programme before.

usually the demands start when he first wakes up “make me breakfast then” so closing the window is the least of it, although again being called dumb because he assumed I didn’t do it is crossing the line

OP posts:
28Fluctuations · 09/04/2025 07:01

Namechange2609 · 09/04/2025 06:57

Yes I know that feeling far too well unfortunately

I’d be surprised if he didn’t try to be back, this time it felt different but then again I’ve been here so many times before just without the block button. I cannot be with him he is not a good person, but like I said I also don’t feel he will be back

He will absolutely be back. He likes abusing you and making you feel bad. He will want to see firsthand how well he did at making you sad and compliant. Sorry, but he will be back for another round - he'll keep coming back as long as you let him.

TheGaaTheSkaAndTheRa · 09/04/2025 07:02

Please promise yourself you will block him and have nothing further to do with him. He is a very toxic individual.

Do you think he might turn nasty once he realises you've closed your last window for him?

I think Googling his personality is a good thing. My ex was at least a sociopath but I had to buy a book back then. As soon as I read the first five pages, I felt relieved as it was him and not me and I was sick of trying to make his world nice when it was him making his own life horrible.

AllTheTreesOfTheField · 09/04/2025 07:04

He may pull the threat of suicide card next, phone the police to do a safe and well check on him if he tries that shit, YOU do not respond to him.

Lolopolo · 09/04/2025 07:05

Please do not go back. This man is abusive. For the sake of your kids bin this absolute arsehole off. Even if they haven’t met him you are taking your attention away from them thinking about this horrible man. I’ve been there. Your time with your kids is so precious and this horror of a man is niggling away at your emotions and time. Awful.

bettydavieseyes · 09/04/2025 07:06

Please never speak to him again. He will ruin your life and get more abusive. Its textbook. Stay strong and never look back.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 09/04/2025 07:07

It’s not different this time, in a sense that’s he’s more serious about ending the relationship because he’s blocked you - he’s just ramping up and finding new ways to hurt you.

He will definitely be back by the end of the week. Be prepared for suicide threats from him.

I hope to god you stay strong and end it, OP. It’s this bad just seven months in. It’s only going to get much, much worse.

Guavafish1 · 09/04/2025 07:08

He sounds scary

AllTheTreesOfTheField · 09/04/2025 07:09

@Lolopolo is correct. Your kids don't deserve a depressed, nervous unhappy mum.

I also echo a pp's recommend of The Freedom Programme. Can be done online. Also a free pdf of Why Does He Do That?

TequilaNights · 09/04/2025 07:10

It will only get worse!! He did you a massive favour, keep him blocked and move on.

FlowerFairy12 · 09/04/2025 07:11

I agree with others who are saying you’ve had a lucky escape. He may come crawling back today but he’s shown you his true colours now, so believe him. My first husband did something similar at the 6 month mark and even dumped me. He then came back all
apologetic and I forgave him. I regret that so badly as I had years of hell with him until I finally came to my senses and divorced him.

groovylady · 09/04/2025 07:11

Do the freedom programme asap

WhatMe123 · 09/04/2025 07:13

Sad how many of. These men are around 😬

Jabtastic · 09/04/2025 07:18

Please block him OP and don't take him back no matter what he offers on a good day. He is not a good person.

AlertCat · 09/04/2025 07:18

Echoing pp. he sounds like one who would turn violent in time and who would absolutely mistreat your children/cut you off from them.

Keep him blocked, don’t give him any chance at all to worm back in. You’re worth so much more.

Shortpoet · 09/04/2025 07:19

Someone mentioned it up thread. Here’s the link to to free pdf of Why Does He Do That?
(short answer, because he wants to).
I think it is a very important read.

dn790007.ca.archive.org/0/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf

FrozenFeathers · 09/04/2025 07:21

Sounds like he is an abuser. Let the trash take itself out, OP. I think some therapy might help you out as well.

Also read Lundy Bancroft's 'Why does he do that?'

ETA: I saw @Shortpoet beat me to it.

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