Boyfriend has just blocked me

[Namechange2609]

Oh god help please..

my boyfriend of 7 months has just blocked me and ended our relationship based on the fact that this morning he whatsapped me to go and shut the kitchen window whilst he was in the shower. The message didn’t pop up on my phone (must of been signal). He came into the room to say did you not get my message? I said no and I went onto WhatsApp and his message popped up.

he has blocked me because he thinks I turned my notifications off because I must be speaking to other men. He also gave me the silent treatment all day and night and I had no idea why until a couple of hours ago.

i do not deserve this and it’s absolutely disgusting but obviously I’m hurt and taken back and need some tough love!

You do deserve this. You deserve the opportunity to get out of this relationship before you become too enmeshed. He is abusive and unreasonable and please remember this when he inevitably tried to rekindle the relationship.

Neither of which are your problem - he’s out of the relationship now and it’s entirely of his own making. He’s the loser here, not you. And he’ll never have a successful relationship unless he addresses his issues. He’ll go from partner to partner, treating them in a similar manner until hopefully they see him for the arsehole he is and end it themselves.

And if he should find a long term partner the suspicion and silent treatments you have endured will escalate into ever more controlling and abusive behaviour until his unfortunate target is isolated from family and friends and has been browbeaten into believing she is to blame. Be grateful it isn’t you, and don’t look back.

Edited to say l’ve just seen you’ve done a Clare’s Law search and had your fears confirmed. Well done for having the courage of your convictions.

You’ve been seeing him for two minutes. I would move on swiftly.

Oh wow OP I saw your thread when you first posted but have just seen your update-how incredibly smart (and brave!) of you to request the Clares Law. And how even smarter for you to update here that you've done that, because you don't know who has just read that post and realised they should do that for their own partner-and who will now find out how fast she needs to run away.

You should be so proud of yourself. You are very clearly starting to learn more about yourself, about how to love yourself better and this will put you in a better position in the future for when/if you ever decide to date again. After my abusive relationship I was single for 3 years, did a lot of counselling, read a lot, learnt a lot, then met my lovely current DP. It's also of course totally valid to never want to date again, but whatever you do please do the work to learn to always back yourself because you're worth it!

Best thing that could have happened.

The trash, as they say, has taken itself out.

👏👏👏👏👏

For anyone who ever finds herself in this situation:

And this wouldn't be the first time he's done paranoid crap like this, would it.

If you take him back you'll be on here quite often, with 'guess what he's done now ... I don't understand how this happened ... Is it me...?'

Move on, move up.

Give your home a deep clean.

Make it smell nice and DIFFERENT.

Buy yourself / your home something you love and you know he wouldn't like / appreciate / approve.

Shove all his stuff in a box, message to say it will be on your doorstep from X o'clock and if he doesn't collect it's for the tip.

I think that's it.

There was a similar thread a while ago, OP put in a Clare’s Law application, they split due to that as he found out, police then wouldn’t disclose the information as they were no longer together (literally only days) 🤔

And to the poster who asked if OP can elaborate on the information disclosed here on the Clare’s Law result - why would you even ask that?? It’s not entertainment, this is someone’s life here and this information CANNOT be shared! 🙄

Lucky escape OP. Block him back and move on!

I suffered 5 years of this. Got out of it in the end, thank God. Don't waste any more time on this man.

'Oh god help please..'

This is really sad. You actually WANT to be with a controlling man.

You 100% need to work on your self-esteem before you get involved again!

OMG - controlling and abusive. Glad you're out of it.

Jeez.. I want to punch this fucker in the face.

What utter horrible victim blaming! There is often no way out, women are manipulated to a point they think this is all normal. Shame on you.

When they try to come back always remember how they left

Hi OP. Yes you have dodged a bullet absolutely, but take care here. For this type of man he will expect you to come crawling to him. When you do not he may struggle to accept that you have agency and can end things. If he does start to get nasty, make sure you keep yourself safe and speak to the Police if necessary.

Why are some men like this? What does it stem from? Genuinely interested to know if they're born like it or it's due to some past experience. There should be a Trustpilot site for men (and maybe women, just to be fair)

What an awful comment. Numerous threads on MN speak to the fact that it can take many attempts for an abused partner to leave, and often women will feel they have no alternative but to stay with their abuser because of their financial situation. This poster is not an enabler in any way shape or form - simply speaking what sadly, for some women, is reality.

Don’t be so fucking naive and horrible 🤬

He’s not a Dr by any chance? Sounds exactly like my ex.

Dear @Namechange2609 - I am so sorry you’re going through this … but THANK GOD you have realised now and aren’t pregnant or living with him/ bought somewhere.
You have a chance to escape.
As some people have said a bit harshly but with all good intention - leave him, get yourself to safety and work on yourself.
You do not deserve to be spoken to like a piece of rubbish. You should be respected and valued in a relationship.

There are books and articles online , ask Chat GPT to give you some steps to discovering your sense of self worth (download app for free from AppStore and sign in)… It doesn’t have to cost a lot.
FIND YOUR ANGER!!! And hold on to it and don’t weaken.

Im sure there will be other good advice on this thread.

I wish you every bit of luck OP.

Dodged a bullet there love! Much better one out there for you.

You have done very well to get away from him OP. Even before your post about the Clare's Law disclosure, it was clear that this is the kind of man he was. But of course that kind of man is a skilled manipulator with a great mask, so you shouldn't blame yourself for getting involved with him. Just keep strong, keep away from him and don't message. Certainly don't anger him.

It’s not hurting him, what are you on about.

Bloody hell OP, that’s terrifying. Well done you for getting out.

Consider that you've had a lucky escape, having only invested 7 months of your life in a narcissistic, paranoid, controlling arsehole, rather than years and maybe a marriage