Is once to twice a week sex enough in a marriage ? When does sex drive dwindle in men ?

[isitenoughnow]

I just don’t ever feel up for it. The thought makes me feel sick. But I do it, as it causes resentment from my husband if I don’t.

anyway, he’s expecting it once a week- sometimes twice ( but more rarely twice ). Usually it’s once a week.

I am going away tomorrow for 2 weeks and usually he expects it in this kind of circumstance and will summon me soon.

I feel sick thinking about it. I just don’t want to do it.

I feel resentful of myself, of my body, of him. The fact that I just have to keep doing this or otherwise it’s a problem for my marriage.

when do men stop wanting sex ? Does it really need to be a weekly thing or could it be monthly or whatever ? I just can’t take it anymore. When I say no, it’s endless begging and if I continue to say no, usually sulking.

I honestly feel like crying tonight as I know he’s going to come and request it from me.

at the weekend I was worried about him as he was out in his fast car and I thought how sad it would be if something happened. But it did cross my mind that at least I wouldn’t need to have sex anymore.

anyway, I ask again - at what age does sex drive dwindle in men ?

OP offered him an open marriage and apparently he was horrified.

He IS having sex with his wife, whenever he demands it. Do you have any concern whatsoever as to what that's doing to her mental health, or is your main concern about making sure she keeps doing it?

@OctoberandApril Are there a lot of women who want the nice house, children etc but not really an intimate relationship with their DH?

Over 50% of women have some of these symptoms during peri/meno/post menopause.

• Dryness.
• Shrinking of tissues.
• Disappearance of labia minora.
• Contraction of the vaginal tissue and muscles.
• Pain during intercourse.
• Problems urinating.
• Shrinkage of the clitoris, making orgasm weak and at times inability to orgasm.
• Loss of libido.
• Tissues sticking/fusing together.
• Adhesions on tissues (can be inside and outside the vagina, on the vulva, on the clitoris, over the urethra).
• Splitting, tearing and bleeding of the vaginal, vulval and clitoral tissues when sex is forced past the level of discomfort.

Would YOU want sex if you had these symptoms?

Yuck! He sounds totally disgusting and I imagine he probably is crap at giving you any pleasure anyway. It’s only about him getting his tiny todger away.
People have offered you a lot of advice and you want to stay with this sack of shit, what did you actually expect from this thread?!

You need to read more then!

Men unfortunately do feel entitled, I've been married to such a man who made it clear he felt he was entitled. "Wifely duties" was mentioned many a time

Good for you you've never been in such a position but there's no need to belittle other experiences just to make yourself feel better.

And big well done for massively missing my point too 👏

Only he isn’t. The OP has made that clear.

Well then she needs to leave him!!! He wants to have sex, she doesn't. End of story!!!

I may not want to hear it but also I see no reason to conceal the truth.

He isn't what? Having sex with her? Have you even read this thread if that's what you think?

One thing all your updates are making me wonder is if you've ever enjoyed sex? Does he take your pleasure into account at all? Does he make you orgasm? Because from what you've said, it's just him pumping away at you, which obviously isn't fun or nice!

Maybe as practical way forward, could you/he try and focus on your pleasure.

Having sex with her whenever he demands it.

Obviously not and my lovely DH would be very understanding. It would be same if he had issues.

I don't think this is the case with OP.

At the end of the day if her DH doesn't want to split up and she doesn't, then they have to agree to a sexless marriage. I agree he can't keep going on about it and she shouldn't just put out as one PP said so they can keep the family unit and home together.

If they are to stay together though they need to sort it out for the children's sake. The children will pick up that their parents are unhappy.

You obviously haven't read the OP which is bizarre. The OPs husband is coercing her into sex she doesn't want.

He is overriding her refusal to have sex by wearing her down until she relents. She feels sick at having to have sex with him. That's non consensual sex.

I absolutely have read it. You obviously didn’t read the comment you’ve just replied to which is bizarre.

Why isnt that your answer regarding him not getting sex? That he should leave her? When it's that way around, you're all about pressuring OP to give him what he wants, at her own cost. It's an interesting double standard.

Then you agree it's rape. Not sure what you're arguing about.

Read the fucking thread. 🙄

I think he should leave her if her intention is a sexless marriage but she’s not been honest and directly told him that.

In that instance he doesn't "want" sex once a week. You know this, he is having it so you don't leave. So you are happy to have sex you know he doesn't want. That is what is wrong here, not you having sexual needs. You are staying with someone who doesn't want sex. You're just making him having sex he doesn't want a condition of you staying.

What you ought to do is leave, or ask him to explore options for increasing his drive first but then leave. I don't know how you can stomach sleeping with a man who you KNOW is checking the day of the week, counting back to the last time, sighing deeply then girding his loins and getting down to it, getting it ticked off the list. How is that satisfying? How don't you feel filled with guilt and shame?

You are using the fact you care less about the relationship to manipulate it to your liking. Just have the courage of your convictions and leave him, and fulfil you "need" for sex with someone who actually wants it with you.

I did and she’s been very clear that there are multiple times that she doesn’t even when he asks.

He's perfectly aware she doesn't want sex. He has to wear her down to get it. Does that sound like enthusiastic consent?

No I do not agree what’s being described here is rape. As I said it’s offensive to think women cannot way up the pros and cons, to want to make their spouse happy, to change their mind. There are layers to this that are beyond.

Yo. Wife. Fancy sex?
No
.
.
.
he rapes her.

There is a LOT that can happen in between. It’s not as simple as people here are making out.

She has said herself that she has not been upfront about where she is at. She needs to be clear and honest. So he is able to make an informed decision.

Agree, this is an extreme case, not simply a difference in sex drives. Op, it sounds like you will both be happier apart? I don't know it I have missed a post. Is it menopause or an attraction/pestering issue that has worsened over time maybe? This cannot continue, it isn't healthy for anybody.

No she hasn't, in fact it seems it's very rare for her to refuse and not be pestered into giving in. Do you think that's acceptable?

I'm not surprised this is your take though, I've seen you on multiple threads excusing and brushing over appalling behaviour from men.