I don’t know what happened when I was drunk.

[BeLemonTraybake]

A few weeks ago, I was at a work event when Im embarrassed to say got very drunk. I am not a drinker, but I must have just totally overdone it and my body is not used to that.

I have a chunk of time where I am unaccounted for. My colleagues don’t know where I was, but it was at quite a big venue so there could be an explanation for that. There were other groups at the event other than my colleagues. But equally, I really don’t know what happened.

i have been running through scenarios for the past few weeks and have even told my husband my fears, and he had told me he is sure it’s all fine and I just need to move on. But I can’t.

I have run through some scenarios that I have even begun to convince myself of.

I am so upset with myself for this and frightened about what I could have done or what could have happened. I am blessed with an amazing husband and children, and I feel like I could have jeopardised everything.

I have no one really to talk to irl about this. I just don’t know what to do or how to move on and would really appreciate advice.

Im not expecting you to be kind to me here. I understand that this is all my own fault. I’m just in a mess and don’t know how to put one foot in front of the other.

Do you mean that you think you went off with someone and dtd?

What memory do you recall when your memories started again?

@Greensaysgo - well that’s my biggest fear here.

Or that I was taken advantage of in the drunk state I was in.

This scenario is what made me decide to never get drunk again. It happened back when I was in my twenties and would get very pissed at social events to mask my huge anxiety with social interaction.
That was in 1996 and I have never had more than one glass of wine since.
It terrified me that I woke up, thankfully at home, but had no memory of anything since leaving the club.

I also gave up drinking alcohol after several incidents like this.

You probably sat in a corner with your head spinning a bit. Don't worry about it.

I know you can’t remember buy you were still ‘you’. You were probably talking to people or maybe went to the bathroom to sober up. If something bad had happened you would have heard about it, or have some idea. It’s likely that nothing happened, you need to tell yourself that you won’t put yourself in that position again, and try to move on. We all make mistakes, be kind to yourself

This. Possibly in a toilet cubicle. X

If you are worried you slept with someone then get a pregnancy test and a STI check just in case

Reconsider your drinking at events

Have you checked your photos etc to see if there's anything there that might help explain?

I have been known in my younger days to fall asleep on the toilet for literally hours. Do you have any reason to think anything sinister happened? I’m sure you was absolutely fine and it’s a really bad case of beer fear.

Where do you remember being before and after and how much time roughly did you "lose" as well?

You honestly probably were just sitting in a corner and no one took any notice

(Sorry wouldn't let me edit to add)

This is what I’ve been considering doing. For peace of mind. But I’m so embarrassed to go. Will it get back to my GP? I know my GP well and would 100% not want this to get back to them.

Most likely you passed out/sat in a toilet cubical for a loooong time xx but if I was you I'd definitely go back to very litte booze

Have you been totally honest with your OH?

I think if a husband had said to his wife "i got really drunk last night and i'm worried is might have cheated on you" the response wouldn't have been, its fine just move on.

I have no memory after a certain point in the evening. But colleagues were with me before I “disappeared” and after when I reappeared.

Have you posted about this before OP? I remember a very similar thread a couple of weeks back.

In a situation like this you are usually still yourself and act like yourself, it’s just that your brain stops storing memories of that particular period because it is too busy keeping everything else functioning.

You can go to any walk-in sexual health clinic.

Surely you know if you’ve had sex though?

Yes, I know this. Just wasn’t sure if that info goes back to the GP.

No, I’ve never posted about this.

Any call logs or texts during the time? You could try to piece your night back together through those. Also entirely possible you were right there with everyone and they just didn’t notice you chatting, sat in a corner, in the toilets or even outside.

@BlondeMummyto1 - no phone info to go off as my battery had died earlier in the evening.

You were probably still with your colleagues and nothing really happened other than drunken silliness.

If something significant did occur someone would have noticed as drunk people are not subtle and you world have been told about it.

Don't worry. Just stop getting drunk. These incidents are really frightening. I had one when I was younger, I never did find out what happened in the missing hours but I don't think it was anything bad. I was still with my friends at the end of the night.

It may be of comfort then to know you are not the only person who has gone through this.

I am sure nothing bad has happened. You made a mistake, be kind to yourself.

The cynic in me says she knows what happened, and wants to get ahead of the narrative before it eventually comes out, and this is thread should really be titled "can i get an STD check without my GP finding out".