45k salary entirely eaten by childcare

[Sofiewoo]

Granted salaries aren’t what they were only a handful of years ago but aibu to be shocked that my 45k salary is now entirely eaten by childcare and getting to work??
I figured if you are earning in the 20s you would assume that but not mid 40s!

I’m trying to weigh up whether to just take the next year and a half off instead of working for nothing. I know, pension, career blah blah but it’s mentally very difficult to juggle drop offs, work schedules and sickness but be no better off financially at the end of the month.

Did anyone else not realise it was a bad as this?

Yes! As I’ve repeatedly said - it’s on both parents to care for children they create.

It gets better. Now AmeliaRuby has canvassed her children’s peers to gather data on their opinions on their parents’ sorry, their MOTHERS’ constant attendance to them between the hours of 3-6pm on an each week day. She’s has also categorised emotion into ‘envy’ by speaking to these children directly.

She’s also canvassed them for data on who also looks after them when unwell.

Mothers who work are also good role models for their children, If my mother stayed at home all day I really would wonder what she was doing with all her time

I hated growing up with a SAHM. It's a reason why I'd never be one.

My mum would probably paint the same picture as AmeliaRuby but children might tell a different story.

Oh dear you sound very judgemental now.

My husband is an amazing dad. He works from home at least once a week and does his fair share of taking the children to their after school activities and does food shops, cleaning, cooking, bedtimes etc. We have a very balanced household where we BOTH prioritise the children not our jobs.

How very sad all of this is 😞

My mother was a teacher, I can honestly say I was never in the least bit envious of friends who had SAHMs, on the contrary I was proud of my mother

Bitter much?

So your husband is an ‘amazing dad’ and still works? Wait - explain to me how this works then?

I loved having a sahm
I had a wonderful childhood
I felt sorry for the children that weren’t cared for as much as I was and still feel for them 😞

I had a SAHM. I genuinely can't remember any of it. I imagine that is the same for many people.

did that hit a nerve @AmeliaRuby

Bitter that my children don’t have one or both parents at drop off and pick up and sick days? They do. Do you want to try another answer?

Can you provide the this data and the studies, please? It’s becoming increasingly unclear (and strange) that you can’t won’t.

I mean this shouldn’t need explaining to all of you super clever ‘career’ mums surely?

I work from home 100% of the time, my husband works from home about 50% of the time.

We both do our fair share of drop offs and pick ups to nursery, food shops, cleaning, cooking and bedtimes.

How exactly again is your husband an amazing dad but I'm 'running away' from my responsibilities?

Look for the studies yourself.
Im not one of your staff in your super high flying ‘career’ at the local shop no doubt 😂

Your severe lack of being able to coherently lay out your argument on this thread is really embarrassing. You’ve been asked several times for tangible information that is outside of your own opinion and you are unable to provide it.

And your own opinion is 100% irrelevant to how another woman should conduct her family life.

I mean I can’t keep repeating myself here.
Its like talking to a brick wall.

I’ll take that to mean you can’t find them and/or they don’t exist. Thank you for confirming.

I work from home more than your husband does. Maybe he is the one running away from his responsibilities?

No need to feel sorry for me! My mum wasn't a SAHM. I also had a wonderful childhood and couldn't have asked for a more caring, loving mother. In fact I have MUCH more respect for her and love that she worked and that she had a life outside parenthood.

Its the children with mothers that devote their entire life to them, have no job and no life outside of their children and then end up completely bereft when their children grow up and nothing else left in their life I feel sorry for. Or the SAHMS that end up financial shit creek when their husbands walk out on them I feel sorry for.

But for me who had a working mum. I feel immensely proud of her and honoured to be her daughter.

No, she’s explained your home set up almost exactly. You simply can’t explain how it differs – because it doesn’t.

I too had a ‘career’ with a psychology background and know of lots of studies conducted that I don’t have the time to find nor do I feel the need to back my opinion.

It’s really not rocket science. Children flourish when they are being cared for by a loving parent as opposed to a young girl at a nursery that they don’t know.

No studies then. Gotcha 👌

And your husband is not a ‘loving parent’ by your own standards.

I feel really sorry for your children in that respect.

Have you looked?