To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

[Aliceglass]

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

I think you need to schedule some parties…

Your neighbour is properly barking, I mean loop the bloody loop.

You need an Onslow to take up residence in your garden

https://images.app.goo.gl/CfcfLUbqmizq1eaN9

The only reasonable response would have been...

"No problem! I take it we are invited - really looking forward to your garden party and meeting your friends!!"

I think a few children bouncing noisily on a trampoline, high enough to see over the fence would work well. You may need to borrow a trampoline and the children.

Or your saxophone playing friend has come to stay because they have a gig nearby. S/he will surely need to do some practice.

Agree and hand her or pop through her letterbox a hard copy, typed up bill for a ridiculous (high) amount of money for non-use by you of your garden for the first date she has mentioned. Add a line at the foot of the page that confirmation of all remaining dates by the end of April will qualify for a 5% discount on the other dates. Payment to be made within 7 days.

Obviously hire charges are 3 times as much and she must furnish proof of insurance.

Maybe then she will realise how bonkers she is being.

Yep! It’s like you are aware of the sort! The ones that go down south and return thinking they’re doing Yorkshire a favour by returning!

undies on the line and sit in your garden all night. No one can dictate what you do in your garden.

How dare she! It's summer FFS and not a time to be cooped up inside. Tell her she either accepts you using your garden or she can pay for you to have a spa day/day out somewhere. If not, invite all your family children round for a play date on the first one and see how she likes it.

I have a spare bbq and can lend a fan so all the smoke blows to their garden

What am I even reading? Tell her to f* off!!

This! I would have laughed at her request and said similar. Oh your friends want privacy when visiting? That's great. Tell them to club together and buy you a detached house in the country side

Absolute cheek of it. If it was me I would let my toddler have a shit ton of sugar and let him loose in the garden while I sat there in my pjs (preferably lepardprint) with wine and a book. I don't smoke, but a cigarette may be as a prop.

It's your house. Do what you want.

A CF to the highest degree. I would be hanging my thongs and suspenders out on the washing line the day of these ‘parties’.

don't just empty the bins, it's a great day to give them a good hose down, splash some disinfectant around, maybe do similar with all the cat litter trays.
is the hose nice and close to the shared fence/wall?

Mow the lawn
then have a few friends round.

if you can't be bothered to mow the lawn, leave it til the morning, make sure it's nice and early.

Hahaha so true. And they come back with a cockney accent but they’re all “ecky thump” before the week is out. Weaklings.

Please borrow the loudest , barkiest dog you can , your noisiest friends and have a Karioke night with lots of wine in the garden 👯‍♀️🎉🎈

Good grief!

Good days to have your sprinklers on… too high?

I know some professional bagpipe players if that helps. Also farmers who deliver manure or stinking rotten seaweed for the garden.
At the very least, weren't you planning to shred some garden waste and plant some spuds/cabbages that weekend?

If she’s so “well to do,” she can move to somewhere with more privacy. Looks like you’ll be having a garden party as well on those dates!

So she wants you not to utilise a space that you own and pay for… to accommodate her guests? Yeah. I’d have laughed out loud at that one. Perhaps if she’d like to book you an Airbnb you can ensure you’re not around at all.

Do you have space to hire a bouncy castle?

Turn this to your advantage agree to not use your garden provided she gives you £300 for a day spa for the pair of you, or tickets for Alton Towers, whatever would give you a really good day out at her expense!

What the …. Is she hosting Abigail’s Party? Anyone who self identifies as well to do in this manner is defo not well to do.

That's outrageous of her!

I am shamelessly book-marking this thread for May 3. If you don't have a knees-up with your other neighbours with a cold buffet including a pineapple and cheese hedgehog and egg mayonnaise vol-u-vents and a raucous rendition of the Hokey-Cokey I shall be sorely disappointed.