To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

[Aliceglass]

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

Failing that, hire a sex pond for the day.

It would be really unneighbourly of you to use your back garden on those days. I'd put your paddling pool up in your front garden and invite some friends round for a 'pool' party.

This!

Although DH has suggested you say 'Are you saying you want to rent my garden on those days?' and present her with a tariff.

Well, she needs a mansion for privacy. As for her request it’s just mental and I would not entertain the request for a moment.

Heavy metal sounds lovely and so is staying in pijamas all day 😝

If DC there, get a bubble machine, stock up on refills. Give kids a basketball to bounce around. Do all your washing and hang it out to dry, especially DH's pants! Bit of impromptu noisy gardening or if the back garden is really an issue, do all of the above in your front garden and wash the car right outside her door. I'd have a lot of fun with this!

Bagpipe players!! Wonderful! They would certainly finish me off!

Maybe some cans of fosters as well... hair in a messy bun 😂

I can understand her mentioning dates ie there might be noise, road a bit congested etc.

I can understand her mentioning dates hoping that you and your neightbours don’t have your usual witchcraft ceremonies - but to expect that you won’t be in your garden at all - that takes the biscuit. She’s a CF - especially as she isn’t inviting you!

When I see my neighbour has guests round I don’t mow the lawn etc.

But her attitude and request/expectation would tempt me to have a bonfire, burn old tyres, tune the car, do some outdoor woodwork etc (not sure which is noisiest - circular was, router or planer?)

Let us know how you get on please. Thanks

Yy, this!!! She "asked" you not to use your back garden. She didn't say anything about the front!

Be sure to be in the front in plenty of time for her guests arrival. Loud music and cans of beer, on camping chairs.

Nobody could object to a bit of washing hung out on a sunny day.

How dare this woman’s dictate to you how you use your property, who does she think she is!

I wouldn’t throw any big bash on the same day as that might be quite childish but I would certainly be using my garden as much as I wanted
This woman is extremely entitled and certainly thinks all the neighbours are beneath her…..even though she is living in the same estate so has no reason to.

I would be making it very clear that I would not be putting up with any more of her nonsense

If she thinks the area and her neighbours are beneath her then she should move to a better area……but wait….she probably Dosen’t have the means to do it therefore she needs to put up and shut up

I'd 100% do this too. Probably bbq some fish too tbh.

Well she can FUCK RIGHT OFF! Cheeky snobby bitch! Wow OP, sorry your neighbour is such an arse!

Anyone for Karaoke and a few cans? 😂

She's batshit! I would made extra sure to use your garden that day, in the hope that her posh friends might fuck off to somewhere else! Love the theramin/ ghost and karaoke/ rave ideas. Maybe also hire a bouncy castle or large paddling pool and invite all the neighbourhood kids round.

If she were my neighbour, I would have laughed at her - we only have a front garden, so literally have to walk through it to get to our house. I'd make sure to sort the recycling and hang out some washing on that day, just to show her that she doesn't get to boss me around.

Cheeky And rude. I’d be out in full pyjamas with wheels bins, I’d mow the lawn, wash the car and make the dog bark. If you haven’t got a dog, then borrow one!

On a serious note, she’s being incredibly entitled to even ask!

I am not a fan of adding to the noise with metal / drum'n' bass whatever.
As the OP states they live in a terrace with many neighbours, it will be hell for them, two lots of noise; they haven't done anything to deserve this (I presume).

But of course OP can use her garden as she normally would and I hope the neighbour and her guests are somewhat considerate, too.

Shameless bookmark for May 3rd. I’m surprised her snobbish friends would consider visiting a terraced garden- gracious! How about a spot of gardening with loud music of choice, the skimpier clothed the better for when they go upstairs and use her ‘powder room’ and see over the fences

I’d be spending the next month curating an extra special playlist including Vengaboys, flat eric, and that audio bully song that had the little skinhead boy in the video.

I am totally in favour of all the retaliation tactics mentioned on here, as you’ll see from my posts.
BUT…… all joking apart, what will it be like for the OP after the dust has settled? She still has to live next door to this prize Pratt! I really feel sorry for her.

Try smoking some fish

It will take a few attempts to get perfect, at least 3 possibly 5 ?

Delicious with scrambled eggs

Fag in hand, rollers in your hair ,out in you oldest pjs, leaning over the fence ,hello duckies ,while you try to join in the conversation

Make sure you are there when the guests arrive and wave to them with a moustrap in each hand...

I was going to suggest nude sunbathing, gardening, whatever you like. By you and DH and/or the most attractive YP you can interest in this idea. A nice distraction for the CF’s guests.

But it turns out that nakedness in your own garden ‘with the intent of causing alarm or distress’ is an offence, and I am afraid the CF might make things very difficult.

Still, I like the idea of giving her guests pleasures that point up her limitations. I am not picturing her as a generous person or a sexy one, and that will show.

Hang your sexiest underwear in the garden to dry. BBQ some wonderful food - nothing beats steak if you are a carnivore - and eat it, with lots of laughter and popping corks, in your garden. The rented hot tub sounds good. Etc.

Have fun with it.

I'd actually go super posh, so not to let the side down. A string quartet? The local marching band? Pony rides on the green? Some very loud hooray henries? Clay pigeon shooting? A pack of hounds? Friends with long whiskers and plus fours and Easter bonnets are mandatory for the women. Round the night off with some very loud Wagner and guests a little worse for wear.