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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

968 replies

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 18:52

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
atlanta1 · 17/05/2025 19:03

If I needed to use my garden on those days I would, if I didn’t I wouldn’t 🤷‍♀️

MatildaMovesMountains · 17/05/2025 19:04

DaisyChain505 · 07/04/2025 18:54

I would purposely be out there in my grottiest pyjamas dragging the bin around whilst shouting to my husband inside to pour me a glass of wine.

Tame! I'd be having loud sex in the hot tub. Or on the patio if I didn't have a hot tub.

Plotzbluemonday · 17/05/2025 19:04

Is it OK for your butler to put trash in the bins when her well to do friends go slumming at her house?

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 17/05/2025 19:07

DaisyChain505 · 07/04/2025 18:54

I would purposely be out there in my grottiest pyjamas dragging the bin around whilst shouting to my husband inside to pour me a glass of wine.

I also love this too..
Or make it really silky black negligee.
I had a neighbour who used to be in her yard in her negligee all the time like a very skimpy satin nightie!!!!! With no bra

FigTreeInEurope · 17/05/2025 19:23

Don't feel bad OP, people like her make others feel shit all the time. She needs to know you won't be pushed around. If she was a bloke, someone would've punched her in the face by now. And you made a lot of people laugh today.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 17/05/2025 19:26

JustSawJohnny · 17/05/2025 17:35

I do hope your karaoke mic has voice changing capabilities so you can treat the Tennis Club Cronies to Barbie Girl in a high-pitched chipmunk voice.

Oh don't worry - if I'm singing you won't need the voice changing capabilities. I sound like a chipmunk anyway. One with adenoids.

CleaningAngel · 17/05/2025 19:27

Aliceglass · 17/05/2025 18:29

Update!

Friend no 1 decided to get in the paddling pool too… she had 4 glasses of rose at this point and decided to involve the kids in a run and jump competition into the paddling pool..
there was a lot of screeching (from friend, kids weren’t so bad).

DH, also a little half cut, shouted “that’s enough now, you’re being too loud. Have some decorum! I’m privately educated and can’t possibly listen to this racket!”

I had to go back inside as I doubled over laughing.

It was deadly silent next door and they’ve gone inside. I feel slightly bad now but I also want to practice on the karaoke for Eurovision!

Priceless!!

Playinwithfire · 17/05/2025 19:30

100% investing in what happens 😂

MrsMoastyToasty · 17/05/2025 19:30

Put your sofa in the front garden, give your friends cans of Natch and get them to wish your neighbour's guests a farewell as they leave.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 17/05/2025 19:37

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 17/05/2025 19:07

I also love this too..
Or make it really silky black negligee.
I had a neighbour who used to be in her yard in her negligee all the time like a very skimpy satin nightie!!!!! With no bra

I might work with your old neighbour, she posts a lot of selfies of her in her garden on FB.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 17/05/2025 19:41

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 17/05/2025 19:37

I might work with your old neighbour, she posts a lot of selfies of her in her garden on FB.

Oh this wasn't a proper garden... it was a yard, shared with the council flat above her, probably about 3 metres squared 😂

CountryMouse22 · 17/05/2025 19:41

DaisyChain505 · 07/04/2025 18:54

I would purposely be out there in my grottiest pyjamas dragging the bin around whilst shouting to my husband inside to pour me a glass of wine.

And to complete the picture, have a fag in your mouth!

LozzaCh0ps · 17/05/2025 19:42

I’d be scheduling a BBQ.

ScruffMuffin · 17/05/2025 19:44

Sounds like your party is better than her party! Wine-fueled paddling pool antics sound hilarious.

Let me know when the next one is, and I'll come over with my saxophone.

CountryMouse22 · 17/05/2025 19:48

Unless you live in the grounds of Kensington Palace, it's perfectly normal to use your own garden.

Deathraystare · 17/05/2025 19:56

What a pity you aren't married to Onslow (Keeping up appearances). You aren't are you? Imagine you and him sitting in the garden. He would bring the tv out, of course!

DodoTired · 17/05/2025 20:03

God I’m rolling on the floor

TalkToTheHand123 · 17/05/2025 20:04

LozzaCh0ps · 17/05/2025 19:42

I’d be scheduling a BBQ.

I'd be buying one.

FamingolosForDays · 17/05/2025 20:04

Loving the updates 👌 so pleased your neighbours have joined in 🤣🤣

ohyesido · 17/05/2025 20:09

Get a strimmer and trim your bush while they have their precious party

Baguettesandcheeseforever · 17/05/2025 20:13

I am living your updates, OP. Really would like to know what her response is

Charmofgoldfinch · 17/05/2025 20:14

Glad you’re having a good time OP. Do not feel bad that they’ve gone inside and don’t let her intimidate you tomorrow. Your neighbour has brought this on herself - you might have been out today if she hadn’t told you not to use your garden and she would have had her silent party! Sounds like your other neighbours feel the same as you - and hi to them if they are on here too! Enjoy Eurovision 🍹

Semiramide · 17/05/2025 20:22

Hm. I think you’ve made your point. I’m beginning to feel a bit sorry for your NDN. Why continue to embarrass her…

TheGreyQuail · 17/05/2025 20:28

You totally rock OP, 🤘

TalkToTheHand123 · 17/05/2025 20:33

Aliceglass · 17/05/2025 18:29

Update!

Friend no 1 decided to get in the paddling pool too… she had 4 glasses of rose at this point and decided to involve the kids in a run and jump competition into the paddling pool..
there was a lot of screeching (from friend, kids weren’t so bad).

DH, also a little half cut, shouted “that’s enough now, you’re being too loud. Have some decorum! I’m privately educated and can’t possibly listen to this racket!”

I had to go back inside as I doubled over laughing.

It was deadly silent next door and they’ve gone inside. I feel slightly bad now but I also want to practice on the karaoke for Eurovision!

😂