To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

[Aliceglass]

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

Me too! And laughing in her face as I called her request ridiculous!!

Is your neighbour Hyacinth Bucket? Peep out and then hurry back inside saying 'oh it's that dreadful Bucket woman!" Or host your own counter party and dress like Daisy, Rose and Onslow

It's nice to let you know what's happening, but who does she think she is?! I wouldn't stop using my garden! I'd still let the kids out there, and have a sit in the garden if its warm. I'd have a bbq on those dates.

Do you live next to hyacinth bucket?. I would tell her you will be considerate but you cannot agree to stay you of your garden. She is being so condescending.

I am sure we can all send you some ancient piece of tatty underwear for your washing line - you know, the knickers you wear the day before you go on holiday because all the good ones are packed and you don't mind these going in the bin rather than sitting in the laundry for 2 weeks. I mean obvs we would send you them clean, all you'd need to do is peg out.

The NDN is totally off her rocker.

I would hire a bouncy castle and invite all my friends kids over to play.

Yes, I am an evil and petty bitch.

I was going to say she is clearly a controlling arse.

I'd put your foot down now. You have already bowed down to her demands re the coour of the fence etc- she now thinks she can dictate to you. We have a neighbour like this who made demands about things like what plants we had in our garden and the colour of the fence on OUR side. For the sake of 'good relations' we knuckled under and trust me that made a rod for our back. He has more recently demanded that DH stop feeding birds in our garden (large, detached house) and to remove a tree because he does not like the look of it. We have said this time 'No' and it has unleased all sorts of shit. Abuse over the fence- sending in his flying monkeys in the form of his adult son who tells us the sight of this tree (a cherry tree) is distressing his father - threats that due to our intransigence he will be forced to move etc. It's batshit of course- but if we had stomped on him 20 years ago we would not be dealing with this now.

Sneak out just before her guest arrive and hang an upside down pineapple from her gate with a basket fashioned from pampas grass filled with condoms and a note saying keys in, protection out 😉

“Sure, Jan”

Your children joining bin the bidding has just proper made me laugh - they sound brilliant 😆

She would have to pay for me and my husband to go out for the day.
If she had invited you and her other neighbours to her party then there wouldn’t be a problem. She obviously thinks you are not ‘good enough’ to fit in with her imaginary posh lifestyle. Tell her to FO.

I suppose she expects you to make sure all your windows are closed and not to flush the toilet on her garden party days to avoid spoiling the genteel atmosphere 🙄

borrow some children and get the paddling pool out.

I'd be re-igniting my love of rave music and lighting up a fat one. The audacity!

I wouldn’t bet on it, I suspect she would read it online and not admit it!

I’d be booking a bouncy castle and inviting all the kids I know round. Every . Single . Date.

what an entitled cow. Absolutely not mate, F - OFF

That's ridiculous. I'd put all those dates on my calendar and make a point of putting out the bins, mowing the lawn, having a barbecue, jet-washing the patio etc on those days. You can't tell people not to go in their gardens!

Can we not?
I’d come.

Given the current thread about the hatred of kids playing basketball, that's definitely a contender for most annoying noise.

You need to organise a Shameless-style estate party, complete with tins of cheap lager, a grotty old sofa, and whichever of your friends looks/acts most like Frank Gallagher.

Her name isn't Mrs Bucket (said Boo Kay)... is it? lol. Cheeky woman. Nope. Make sure you ARE out there in the garden on said dates. She doesn't own your house/yard does she?

Please please please get a bubble machine OP, let them waft over to her well to do garden party.

But if you can’t be bothered organising a party on the same date. Put a couple of fish in the wheelie bin a week before and on the day, open the lid and let the scent waft over. Go out for the day and make sure your garden gate is locked.

I think I would invite a load of noisy kids round to use my new paddling pool! Of course they would get through a lot of towels that would need washing or spin drying and just typically that would be the day I had to hang my knickers on the line…

i would ask her how you should invoice her for the “rental “ of your owned space, as she seems to think this is a business request.

Get some mates round. Tell them it’s a fancy dress party with the theme ‘Chav!’ Dress in a shocking colour shell suit, scrape your hair back into the tightest highest pony tail you can manage, paint thick black eyebrows on and loads of bright lip gloss. Get a load of cheap chairs, borrow a couple of pitty type dogs, create atmosphere with some broken furniture, piles of empty lager and beer cans, and a burnt out bonfire patch arranged around the garden, borrow a lot of children to run around, get a mix tape of rap and hip hop. Have fast food delivered. Spend the time drinking cans of cheap beer, screaming with laughter and screaming ‘Shutyer face Wayne/Shazz/Trace/Jools’ etc. Good times.