To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

[Aliceglass]

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

I'd be inviting the loudest, most common fun people I know to come drink pink sunshine wine from breakfast time and playing all my favorite dodgy 80s tunes while singing along badly to them in my shorts

I will bring my dog who barks at the wind, my speakers, and an endless playlist of chiptune (music made from game consoles)

what total bs, never heard anything so silly in my life, so they can make a loud noise in their garden but you have to be quiet, laugh in her face crack on with your bins mow your lawn etc .

Do you have space for a trampoline in your front garden? Borrow a few children, pump them to the gills with sugar, Baby Shark playing loudly on repeat and let them at it. Then plop yourself on your front door step, light a spliff and relax :)

Silly woman. I'd be liaising with all the other neighbours who have (allegedly) agreed to this nonsense, just to see if she's lying. And then, how about arranging a sort of rolling party, moving from garden to garden, so that if you needed a break you could keep the noise going?

The really funny thing is that people who are genuinely "well to do" would have absolutely no issue with anyone nearby using their garden for their usual activities, even when a garden party is taking place!

...Speaking as someone who grew up in a village full of "well to do" people. Occasionally a note would be dropped through the door advising that a party would be taking place, but with assurances that noise would stop after x time and/or with an invitation to join!

I'd be renting a trampoline and lighting the bbq, burning some green wood.

^^

Have a BBQ, rent a bouncy castle and sing oasis on the Karaoke until 11pm

I would actually now plan to have people round on those days and spend time in the garden with them.

Cheeky entitled fucker.

I totally agree with this! The people who are genuinely well to do don’t need to pretend that they are! Unlike Bucket next door, she needs to pretend when the neighbours on the other side are “only renters” Her words previous, not mine!!

As well as the grotty pjs how about walking around with an empty can of Stella too 😂

True story.

My late husband was brought up on Balmoral Estate - his dad was a gardener there. For a while, DH worked in the forestry division.

One time when he got home from work, the Queen Mother was in the kitchen, speaking to his mum.

DH was only a young lad and didn't know what to do - so he stuck out his mucky hand and shook the Queen's Mother. No complaints from her.

We can script you some lines, just pretend to be the biggest MumsNet Viper you can think of.

'Terribly sorry dear, we checked those dates you mentioned again and they clash awfully with our drum practice and lawn mowing schedule. We'll try to be quick for you but no promises, who knows what the weather may do tinkly laugh'

I hate confrontation but I learned to pretend to be someone else, so now I pick from a range of people I can easily imagine, depending on the situation. For this, I think I'd be Liza Tarbuck, I can absolutely see her snorting in someones face at the very idea of you being banned from your own back garden!

Another excellent tactic is to take everything she says the wrong way.

Her: 'We're having some evening soirees so...'

You: 'Oh we'd be DELIGHTED to come but I'll have to check with Roger to see if we're both available. Not to worry though, if he is busy I'll bring insert name of loudest person you know/another neighbour..'

Her: 'Um, no I was going to ask you to stay indoors during...'

You: 'Stay indoors? Oh you mean at yours, to help you prep all the food? Oh I don't know about that, I can bring a dish though, I make a marvellous spam and pea terrine. You use plenty of aspic, its a delight!...

Just totally railroad the conversation and keep making wild suggestions until she thinks its best to shut up and fuck off.

Wow. I think you've got a real life Karen there, OP. I'd take that as a challenge not a friendly request

😂 Make it voddy

This is actually hilarious! 100% I would be out in my garden being as embarrassing as possible and befriending her guests

If her friends are so easily distracted at one of her patties, I would say they're not being suitably entertained.

Would have to be a bloody boring party to be disturbed by you putting some recycling out.

Bloody hell!!
Can you order some garden manure to arrive on the day(s)?

Have you hot teenagers who could have a few friends over.
Get some grotty underwear from a charity shop put it on the line.
Do some DIY.
Pray to the rain God's
Make a curry
Set our smoke alarm off
Fake embracing conversation ie body part.
Playsomething annoying such as the pepa pig theme.
Fake arguments
Does the garden need smelly mature.
A bubble machine .
Huge bit of plastic and let the kids do messy play.
Lots of balloon popping.
Sound effects on your phone.
Bins need oldest pjs rollers Fake fag hanging out

I’ll be hiring a hot tub and a trampoline for the day!

I literally said in my original post that I said I couldn’t promise to not use my garden. I am asking if I’m being unreasonable to say no!

Book a bouncy castle and bounce up and down in a skimpy bikini

She's left you no choice. You must now source a manky free sofa from Facebook and leave it on the front lawn.

Spread manure and buy a noisy wood chipper!

I also have one. He's currently learning 'Come as you are' by Nirvana, which would be particularly apt. The more electric guitar players, the better! I can also supply a large, hairy, barky dog.