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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

968 replies

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 18:52

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Maiyakat · 07/04/2025 20:39

Do you know anyone looking for a venue for a sixth birthday party? I'm thinking bouncy castle, ice cream van, water fight, maybe a mobile petting zoo.... 🐐

muddyford · 07/04/2025 20:39

I'd be mowing the lawn, playing with the strimmer, running the washing machine, hanging laundry out (I often put towels and bed linen OUT THE FRONT as it gets the sun earlier), wheeling the bins about, hurling items in the recycling (several times each item), letting the gate slam... she's got a nerve!

Perimama · 07/04/2025 20:40

Oh lord, she sounds hideous - just ignore her and make sure you hang all your washing out in your front garden on the day of the parties! Looking forward to your update in May AliceGlass!

Bumblingbee101 · 07/04/2025 20:40

You took that very well @Aliceglass ! Personally, she cannot dictate to you 5 potential dates that you cannot use your garden, do chores or any daily household maintenance! I thought it was going to be a do you mind if we have a party post! That's ridiculous. I would be bbqing or at the very least be in my garden! Do you have children or a dog?!

Alwayswonderedwhy · 07/04/2025 20:41

Hilarious. If her friends are that well to do I'm surprised she'll let them see that she lives in a terraced house with an overlooked garden. Tell her to bugger off!

martinisforeveryone · 07/04/2025 20:41

The only sensible response would be to say 'Have you never thought about buying a detached property? With land. Sounds like that's what you need' and to walk off.

JaxKennedy · 07/04/2025 20:42

What an entitled old bag, sod her, tell her to go and spin...

WatchingTheClowns · 07/04/2025 20:42

The cheeky bitch. Tell her to piss off

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 07/04/2025 20:42

Ooh please can I come. I look like wild woman of Borneo if I wash my hair and don't straighten it or pull it back. I could bring my largest grottiest holiest Primark pants - clean of course - to hang on your washing line. We could swig White Lightening straight from the bottle and listen to Cascada on repeat

Totomanoto · 07/04/2025 20:43

Are you in Harrogate by chance? There’s a newish housing estate next to a council estate here and I can imagine this sort of thing going on here!

ByNattyAnt · 07/04/2025 20:44

Your neighbour's request is downright unbelievable!
Do NOT allow her to intimidate you. How dare she ask that you keep out of your own garden? You mustn't give in or she'll continue to ride roughshod over you and your family forever.

I'd tell her to her face that you were pretty shocked at her request and now, on reflection, you're letting her know that you will be carrying out your normal weekend activities at home, if you happen to be in, which includes using your own back garden.
Have to say, I'd put a bit of rotted horse manure around the roses a day or two before.....
Good luck. Please let us know how it goes.

TheSilentSister · 07/04/2025 20:44

This has the potential of going into Classics. Please keep us updated, though not sure I can wait a month for the first party, lol.

My suggestion is to invite a few mates round, the sort that get louder and louder and shriek with laughter after a few glasses.

Or invite me - I do all of the above, plus my son, who can rev his motorbike outside. Nicely topped off with my dog who will no doubt be over excited and get the zoomies and yap his head off.

Toddlerteaplease · 07/04/2025 20:45

Absolutely not on!

SheridansPortSalut · 07/04/2025 20:46

.

To feel miffed with my neighbours request?
MeridianB · 07/04/2025 20:46

Oh, I know the neighbour you mean.

To feel miffed with my neighbours request?
Elsvieta · 07/04/2025 20:46

God, it would be tempting to sunbathe topless all day. While playing loud sweary gangsta rap.

MoralHighGroundGrandWizard · 07/04/2025 20:46

Oh @op please go out for the weekend and invite me and my friends over. I’ll tidy up after but I want to wreak havoc on this woman.

NeedthatFridayfeeling · 07/04/2025 20:46

DaisyChain505 · 07/04/2025 18:54

I would purposely be out there in my grottiest pyjamas dragging the bin around whilst shouting to my husband inside to pour me a glass of wine.

😂 YES!

Whammyyammy · 07/04/2025 20:46

PoopingAllTheWay · 07/04/2025 18:57

I would purposely be in my garden with very loud obscene music playing songs with the worse swear words you can find 🤪😅

I'd join you

starrynight009 · 07/04/2025 20:46

I'm not surprised you were left shocked! You should hire out an inflatable hot tub for your garden and have the time of your life when she has a party scheduled.

Brefugee · 07/04/2025 20:46

to be honest, because i'm REALLY petty, I'd be saying "choose between me just behaving normally, or me renting a hot tub and inviting all my chavvy mates over for aperol spritz and BBQ"

WiddlinDiddlin · 07/04/2025 20:47

Oh those would be the days I have to jet wash the rugs, and the yard, and hang out my biggest pants (and they're pretty much tent sized). I like to do all this whilst playing G.W.A.R. Really gets me in the mood for a bit of cleaning.

NoTimeToChill24 · 07/04/2025 20:48

If I didn’t remember the thread about the bins in the front/side of the house, I would think the whole story was a scenario for an episode in a new season of “ Two doors down”. I’d be honored to attend on one of the scheduled party days and can also bring along my dog, who wouldn’t bark but can offer a background of blood curdling howling

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 20:48

I need to build the courage to carry out some of these incredible suggestions! 😂

OP posts:
Hwi · 07/04/2025 20:49

Your neighbour is bonkers.