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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

968 replies

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 18:52

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

OP posts:
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6
HellenaHandbag · 07/04/2025 18:53

I would be telling my neighbour to FO

Dinosweetpea · 07/04/2025 18:53

She's bonkers, ignore her! CF

DaisyChain505 · 07/04/2025 18:54

I would purposely be out there in my grottiest pyjamas dragging the bin around whilst shouting to my husband inside to pour me a glass of wine.

SilverBlue56 · 07/04/2025 18:54

Just smile and nod and then go about your normal business, she's being utterly ridiculous.

youcannaecallherfanny · 07/04/2025 18:54

I’d have told her to piss right off! 😂 who does she think she is. CF

RainbowSlimeLab · 07/04/2025 18:54

That’s hilarious! I’d be inviting the world and his wife around each time.

How much is she paying you to stay out your garden?

Legopotamus · 07/04/2025 18:55

I'd be actively using mine on those days.

XxSideshowAuntSallyx · 07/04/2025 18:55

I'd be arranging your own loud garden parties on those days.

How dare she tell you not to use your own garden, the cheek of it. Tell her to fuck off.

brettsalanger · 07/04/2025 18:55

That’s hilarious. Just ignore her and go on with your life of taking the bins out whenever you like. And possibly planning your own heavy metal music party on the same day !!

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 18:55

DaisyChain505 · 07/04/2025 18:54

I would purposely be out there in my grottiest pyjamas dragging the bin around whilst shouting to my husband inside to pour me a glass of wine.

😂 This sounds like a great idea! I can just imagine her face now!

OP posts:
Dueanamechange2025 · 07/04/2025 18:56

Tell the neighbour to tell her well to do friends to buy her a detached not overlooked property for her future garden parties.

Glittertwins · 07/04/2025 18:56

Well she can go and move elsewhere with no neighbours to lower the tone then!!!

jeaux90 · 07/04/2025 18:56

Fuck that, I’d be having a BBQ those days CFs!!

AquaPeer · 07/04/2025 18:56

I have a friend who did this years ago. As well as being truly bonkers (she is) she was about 26 so pretty inexperienced and immature. I would just laugh and ignore.

Danikm151 · 07/04/2025 18:56

At first i thought it was going to be a heads up of a BBQ so you didn’t get the smell on your washing but to expect you to not use your garden is CF territory!

If she’s so ashamed about having neighbours she can move house!

PoopingAllTheWay · 07/04/2025 18:57

I would purposely be in my garden with very loud obscene music playing songs with the worse swear words you can find 🤪😅

bumblefeline · 07/04/2025 18:57

I would be planning my own garden discos for those dates and finding some noisy children to add to the chaos. She is a massive CF.

Maray1967 · 07/04/2025 18:57

All you need to say is ‘I beg your pardon?’

Or something stronger if you prefer.

Genevieva · 07/04/2025 18:57

Speak her other neighbours just out of curiosity. I’d make it clear that she needs to book another venue if she wants privacy and you will crack on as normal.

LadyKenya · 07/04/2025 18:58

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Arlanymor · 07/04/2025 18:58

Who does she think she is? I thought she was being nice and considerate dropping a note with the dates so that you know it might be noisier than usual, but BOOM... dictating what you can/cannot do in your own space? That's batshit. It's honestly batshit. You are not overreacting or being sensitive. Buy one of those waving person inflatables that they have at car dealerships and ONLY inflate it in your garden on the days that she is holding her parties... I mean it doesn't make any noise does it, so how can she complain?!

FedUpandEatingChocolate · 07/04/2025 18:58

That's ridiculous. I have friends who can't stand having neighbours, so they have a house in the middle of nowhere with only woodland for company. That's what your neighbour needs to be doing!

FoxFaceRabbitFish · 07/04/2025 18:58

This is outrageous behaviour. She should only be letting you know for your convenience, so you are aware and can be forewarned that they will be making noise and maybe if there will be extra cars trying to park nearby. Or she should be extending the invite to you! It’s not your problem she doesn’t live in a remote property and has judgemental friends! If it was me I’d now make sure I made full use of the garden those weekends! Get your kids a new paddling pool they can enjoy or get on with some noisy gardening!

bridgetreilly · 07/04/2025 18:58

I thought it was nice of her to be warning you about possible noise, but then it turned into batshit CFery. I think I might be planning noisy work in my garden those weekends. Or a bonfire. Or inviting hordes of screaming toddlers round.

FuzzyPuffling · 07/04/2025 18:58

Time to spread some really smelly compost. Fish guts would be good. You could do it the day before, so technically you are abiding by her batshit rules.