Why is ND a common excuse for poor behaviour now?

[PonderingCarefully]

To be clear, this isn't a bashing thread as I'm generally interested in views and reasonings. Posting here for traffic really.

I get ND is a huge thing now and way more people are being vocal about it being accepted in society. This i am in favour of but.... so often now, especially on MN/SM, you see people excusing or questioning if poor behaviour is a result of undiagnosed ND. For example, a partner withdrawing/saying hurtful things would usually be seen as abuse now it's are they on the spectrum? A friend who's taking advantage is no longer seen as a entitled CF but is said to need more patience incase they are ND.

Why is this? Is it now a society norm that you actually need to feel quilted into accepting this behaviour just incase there's something undiagnosed at play? Are we now going to start seeing abusers and bully's in a new light of "maybe it's not their fault" now?

ND children and adults shouldn’t be driven to suicidal idealisation to fit into a NT world.

This ❤️

Im sorry for your daughter!

I'm so glad she has you.

@Jud3 maybe because ADHD medication like methylphenidate for example is a controlled drug.

GPs can make a referral to the mental health team but as we all know how stretched their resources are it's not a quick diagnosis.

Its just kept in a separate locked cabinet at the pharmacy. Not hard or onerous. Let’s start resenting other meds prescribed by the NHS shall we.

Similarly, no woman needs to be driven into putting up with an abusive or lazy man on the offchance that he is ND. Most people are not ND.
Its far more likely that your partner is too lazy to put his pants in the hamper or cook or work than that he is ND.

When people constantly question poor behaviours and shitty abusive treatment of others as the perpetrator being ND it makes ND synonymous with shitty behaviour and that does a huge disservice to a community which is by and large full of lovely, kind people (like the rest of the world). ND people can be arseholes and so can NT people but not all assholes are ND or NT.

It actually pisses me off. I'm nd not a wanker! I don't treat anyone poorly. If anything, I used to get NT people take the piss as I was a previous people pleaser and didn't understand boundaries.

I do now and I don't let anyone use or abuse me.

Being an arsehole or abusive is personality trait, it is not ND!

No! Absolutely don't put up with that.

But thats not what neuro divergence is.

I dobt really understand your post unless it's to say some people are just shit.

Like cancer drugs eh? You've got the wrong end of the stick. Controlled drugs don't just mean they are kept locked up.

You asked "How come ADhD medication and diagnosis is such a chore but every other malady, condition and medication isn’t?".

Well, being a controlled drug, GP's before they sign the prescription, and there are many that still do, controls and checks have to be made and medication must be reviewed regularly whether that is by the GP, the psychiatrist or the Neurodevelopmental Disorders Consultant/Team. And I imagine diagnosis as you charmingly called it "a chore" is because one size doesn't fit all.

Well then there are a lot of people claiming to be ND then who are not officially diagnosed, maybe they did an online test and self diagnosed which anyone can do

Then they're not diagnosed are they?

People do this about all sorts of crap, why focus on neuro divergence?!

I’m sorry to hear that. I can only come at it from my experience, as you can yours.
There was no help open to me at that age, so it really was a case of sink or swim. I struggled with self-harm, depression and anxiety as a result, and was prescribed medication to help this, but the ASD side I was expected to cope with by myself because there was no support. I’ve certainly not had it easy and I do understand how it impacts people. Added to this I also had a serious childhood illness to deal with.
I often look back and wonder if I had been a teenager today, what would have been different for me and would I have preferred it, but I feel I’ve done alright for myself and can only thank my parents and upbringing for that.

I wish your daughter well xx

It is reviewed yearly by the psych !!!Our psych simply sends it to the pharmacy monthly. A gp will be no different. There is nothing to check.

Self diagnosed, they don’t mention that though when discussing it though

Autistic teenagers now have to contend with a whole lot more than the 90s- the online world being one and a creaking nhs. .

What you describe is common in many relationships, it has nothing to do with NT or ND. I think this is the issue

It’s not common all day every day with everything. Arguments are intermittent. Managing autism isn’t.

Hardly anyone breaks their toe yet every single person I know is adamant they've broken their toe.

I still don't get your point.

You think our society is crumbling cos people are telling you they don't understand other people and they think theyre neuro divergent ?

I have no idea
I find it even more annoying that they think they csn speak for everyonre on the spectrum when they dont have a dignosis themselves

I think nearly dying from a childhood illness gave me a resilience that even I probably didn’t know I had until that point. That probably has helped me.
When I say I have visited Hell and come back again, I mean it.
Absolutely nothing in life bothers me now. This may well have been a godsend (in a way!) for me dealing with my autism. So maybe the illness was my saviour? Life is funny.

This is how I am too, we have 5 children, 2 of them are ND and they couldn't be more different from one another. One is the most gentle, laid back, kind, happy and funny kid, the other is an absolute whirlwind and unfortunately is constantly lying, stealing and being mean to others. I would never excuse her behaviour and I treat her like I would any child if they were behaving this way, it's unacceptable. But some people would tell me it's not her fault and I shouldn't discipline her.

Different countries, different health boards, different GP practices. One size doesn't fit all.

@Jud3 in fact new guidelines recently advised in my area with regard to melatonin it's been reduced to 6 monthly. If the 6 monthly appointment is not kept (DNA'd) then the GP won't sign a prescription.

Very true. The internet is the absolute worst place for teenagers, and I do believe that it’s largely the fault of the internet that has caused this massive influx of ND diagnoses, to the detriment of those who truly need the support (like your daughter).

But being autistic in the 90s wasn’t exactly a piece of cake. There was no understanding of it, no help in schools, very little to no SEN provision. You were the school weirdo, you stuck out like a sore thumb, you wondered why you felt so different to everyone else… and there was no way of reading about it other than a leaflet given when you were diagnosed. That was it.
So swings and roundabouts isn’t it? I think kids have more awareness now of how their brain works. They can type into Google and find out why it’s different and that it’s ok to be, and they aren’t alone. They can read about it in language they understand. There are people sharing videos with their experiences, there are online forums to visit… and so on.
Whereas the 90s autistic child was on their own. Utterly. That was pretty rough.

If you don’t understand the point I’m not going to explain it to you