To think men should automatically pay on a first date if they asked you out?

[ThisSnappyNewt]

Had a date recently - he asked me out, picked the place, and at the end said “Shall we split it?” I did but it left a bad taste. I just think if you’re the one initiating the date and doing the inviting, you should offer to pay - man or woman but especially if you’re the guy. It sets a tone. AIBU to think it’s just good manners and a red flag if they don’t?

Are you Jane Austen?

Every nice kind decent man I’ve ever been out with has paid on the first date and the second actually for that matter
Every twat who is turned out to be awful has wanted to split it
There is quite clearly a pattern here

I'm guessing that your definition of a twat is a man who doesn't spend enough money on you to be considered nice.

Nope, it's absolutely pathetic in my opinion to expect the man to pay. And tbh I just think it's grabby and makes the person going on the date sound like a freeloading tart.

Theres a Mr 50/50 link upthread

I dont think we can base socities patterns on your very anecdotal evidence
Ever thought that those that didnt want to pay you were just not that into you?

I dont think first dates should be to really expensive places unless both parties clearly have a lot of money.
If I was invited on a first date somewhere expensive then they wanted to go halves I would think it was thoughtless. It’s not that easy to say to a stranger “no thanks I can’t afford that”.
So If people just didn’t suggest first dates to expensive places none of this would be an issue in the first place.

Run a mile. He is either A)tight B) not into you. A man should always offer to pay on the first date, it just shows basic manners and yes chivalry is still important. For everyone shouting feminism, equality, it's "2025" that will never matter until men start pulling their weight with childcare , housework and emotional labour. Until then, they can continue to foot the bill.

Its a first date i fail to see what its got to do with childcare and housework
Its supposed to be about getting to know someone and seeing if there is potentialfor a reltionship
And that works both ways.

Not forgetting the women that will date anyone and use them for free meals, because the man should pay.

The fact is that men arent as ready to step up when its housework and childcare and some of them will be the men expecting 50/50 when it comes to paying on dates. We have got women paying for all of their own maternity leave FFS just to prove they are not a "gold digger" Upthread someone even referred to it as YOUR maternity leave when talking to another poster and THEY are the ones who put YOUR in capitals. Women are wising up to it though and its one of the reasons the birth rate is falling

I agree with everything except your use of the word 'tart'. I object to that quite strongly.

Again its a first date most of which go knowhere ,
You can predict wether a msn will share house work ,child care evenly from a first date

Because men only want equality when it comes to finances! any other time in day to day relationships, they are more than happy for the women to pick up the slack.

And it is a WOMANS maternity leave its certainly not the mans.

It’s pretty grim when they don’t give a toss about impressing you after you’ve got all dressed up. I’d rather stay at home watching the Crime Channel than date Mr “You woman wanted equality!”. Impressing someone is not equality, besides notice these 50/50 men would be quite happy to move in with me and just pay towards the bills and do minimal house work. I’ve got to the point I’m just going to ask “Is it your treat? Are you buying” before even getting ready. If they turn me down, I’m happy with a rum and coke in front of the TV. I refuse to date a dusty. I’m financially well off and don’t want to date someone poor or stingy. Notice insist on paying they’ll accept that’s not 50/50. These men are not feminists, usually the opposite.

And some womèn it seems only want equality based on finance ,s too
They are quite happy to be paid for and treated as delicate little flowers .

This^ defo not feminists. Only interested in saving their money, not female liberation.

Yes and so what?! That's the only thing society expects of men these days - as they certainly manage to wrangle out of everything else.

Single handedly setting feminism back 40 years! Thanks!

Really? Oh how strange. Cos on the threads about domestic abuse they had no idea what he was like on the first date cos he was on best behaviour yet you can accurately predict what a man is like on the first date to the point that he would definately split housework and chidcare

I would strongly advise any man to run a mile from a woman who wants to use a first date as an opportunity to fight the battle of the sexes.

Its not the fucking Immaculate Conception though

Male or female who ever asks who out pays

Wwll no but a woman carries the child and gives birth to to it spl is entltled to maternity leave
Imagine the outrage if men started tslking about " our" maternity leave