To ask a parent to move their buggy from a café so I can sit down?

[TheUmberFawn]

Went to a busy café at lunchtime. One table was occupied by a mum with a large pram taking up the space of two chairs. There were no other free tables, so I asked politely if she could move it so I could sit. She gave me a dirty look and mumbled something about needing space. I get that babies come with stuff but why should that mean no one else can sit? AIBU for asking?

AND none of your points @ButterCrackers are about the mum in the original post organising herself for her child’s needs. All of your posts are about how the mum should be organising herself to meet the needs of strangers above the needs of herself and her child. Honestly, your comments are so sanctimonious - and self contradicting.

Ask mums /dads/carers with slings how they stay hydrated - the answer is water. To tackle your comment. Most snacks are fine as long as it isn’t hot or sticky or melting. Im happy that you feel lucky to have a pram but for me, when my kids were small, it would have been difficult - pavements not wide, public transport etc. I found a sling convenient for the needs of my family.

Maybe the difficulty with prams is other people acting like you don’t have the right to be out in public with one.

What sort of attitudes could you be carrying that perpetuate this?

Hmm, so tricky.

Ah - too funny. You found no quotes then! Thought so. Your comments, including this one, imho have added nothing to the thread.

So not only do women with prams have to be the one to sit outside rather than the cafe patron who arrives after it is already full, they also must only drink water, must not have a coffee or other hot drink, must only have cold, non sticky, one handed food 😂

How dare a woman take up space!

Another who extrapolates something from nothing.
Nothing in my post was discriminatory and to suggest I would discriminate against the disabled is just rude and v ignorant.

I explained my experience of using a sling. I get that it’s too complicated for you to follow as evidenced by your silly comment.
You need also to think further than women being responsible for childcare. Dads also look after kids as do other family and carers.

That’s you. Just because you CHOSE to do that doesn’t mean other people have to. I actually have slings too, 2 of them and have had really good use out of them. They are great. Shit in a cafe though as they don’t meet the needs of myself or my baby.

And if I manage to get out with the baby I’m not taking the sling and sitting in a cafe sipping water because a silly stranger might want to sit at my table.

I wasn’t the person you were addressing, and haven’t commented previously on this post. I was just stating, although it’s pretty obvious, that you using a sling (as of course is your choice) is not remotely relevant to the situation described in this post where the mother is not using a sling.

It would be like me going on to a thread complaining about behaviour in a supermarket and saying “well this doesn’t happen to me because I get all my shopping delivered so I never see any behaviour like that”.

A coffee shop I frequent often has a group of mothers with buggies and prams in there, they congregate around a couple of tables in the middle of the shop making it awkward for customers to get round them to access the counter, toilet and tables at the back. I wish staff would say something.

Exactly. I explained my OWN experience. A sling was fine for me. It was better than a pram - rural and town.

My apologies. I mixed you up with someone else. I’d not realised this.

What does your experience of using a sling even add though? It’s so irrelevant?

You’re commenting on a thread about a mother eating out in a cafe with her baby in a pram and going on and on about how ‘well I just had cold water and never ate hot food because I used a sling’. Okay, so??? What does that have to do with anything?

Perhaps this mother wanted to have a hot coffee? It’s not an issue.
She doesn’t need to switch to a swing and by your own admission alter and limit what she eats and drinks to accommodate a total stranger in a cafe who could just wait for a free table or be the one to go outside.

Is there a reason you posted this? What is it about a post where one person happens to be a mother makes you feel the need to complain about other mothers in totally different circumstances?

It’s my experience of prams and buggies being awkward in confined spaces.

You ever think people are on the windup??

But this buggy wasn’t blocking the toilets, or the walkways? It was simply at the table the woman was using.

Yip they aren't always great in confined spaces. Cafes often don't have enough space. And tables are packed tightly together .
But that doesn't mean Mums shouldn't use them to transport their babies they best way for both Mum and Babies.

Nor does it mean mums and dads shouldn't be entitled to the luxury that is ploking their bum in a cafe with a hot drink and some hot food!

I explain my OWN experience. I do not tell anyone to alter their behaviour. You can read back , as can everyone to check that.

The pram is seen as a seat by posters here but is it taking a seat place if the child doesn’t need a high chair or a chair. I don’t think so and this is based on what I see in cafes - think busy places in town and also a quieter rural place. Would you count a baby in a sling as taking up its own seat if the child doesn’t need a high chair or a chair? If not then is it the sitting a table with someone else that actually gets to you?

OP stopped responding in part 1 🤣.. So you all are just chatting with yourselves now.

of course OP knew YABU because what's the essence of your post if you'd long left the cafe and moved on with your weekend. If you know YABU or YANBU what difference would that make to the lady and the baby?.

Do we now run to MN to share every single detail of our lives? Pointless post!

Happy Monday everyone 😊😊

No it’s not that the majority of posters view the pram as a seat, it’s that the majority of posters view the baby as one of two people at a table for two people. What the baby is sat in is irrelevant.

How would the addition of a a highchair mean any less space was taken up? Two people would still be seated at the table, OP still wouldn’t have been able to sit there.

As you’ve already rightly acknowledged it’s difficult to sit down at a table with a child in a sling so most normal and reasonable people accept the baby needs space to accommodate it. This mother isn’t in the wrong for not holding her baby in her arms while eating her lunch.

It was also quite clear by the tone of the OPs follow up post (might have been removed now) that she was being unreasonable!

Agreed. She expected support. Didn't get it and has now abandoned the thread. Typical

@ButterCrackers
So mum walks in with Baby in a sling.
Mum wants coffee ☕️ sleep deprived and wants a nice coffee.
For safely reasons she puts Baby in a highchair .

She and Baby still take up two spaces at the table.

There is no space for Op (or you or any other random) this issue is not the Buggy the issue is 2 people are at a table designed for 2 people!